I'm so broken.
It's become so obvious. I'm emotionally destroyed and
there's nothing to do expect watch me fall apart. Each day
it gets worse, nothing ever gets better. I'm so alone in
this world that it's really starting to get to me. I always
have to remind myself that it's my own failt that people
don't like me. It's all my fault. I'm fat and ugly.
There's no one to blame but myself. It's so hard
because nobody knows the real me. Nobody knows what I have to
put up with on a daily basis. No one knows anything about me.
They know me as this shy, happy, smiley, girl but that's
not even close to what I am. It's all an act. It's all
just a lie. People always tell me to 'just get over it'
but how could I ever get over something so curel. I will never
get over all the words people said to me. I will never forget
the pain that I was in. I will never forget the night that I
was in so much pain that I grabbed a blade for the first time
and glided it across my wrist just so I could give myself the
pain that I deserve. I'll never forget the night that I
shoved my finger down my throat to make me thin. I won't
forget the day I decided that a piece of gum was the right
amount to eat that day. I'll never forget the night my mom
went mad and had a mental breakdown. I won't forget the
nights I cried myself to sleep with no one to tell me that it
was all going to be okay. I won't forget the 30+ cuts on my
arm that I did because I was so upset. Don't tell me to get
over it when you know nothing. Do you think I like being this
sad? No I don't but this sadness is all I have. This
sadness has consumed me. And it's far too late to save
me.
