broken.

last night, i had one of those moments. one of those moments when you're just innocently laying in bed, trying to fall asleep. i wasn't even thinking about you.. i was just trying to fall asleep. all of the sudden, i opened my eyes and i completely fell apart. i broke. it hit me again, for like the 6th time. you're gone. you're out of my life, for good. i'll never ever get to go to your house again. i'll never get to show up wearing a hoodie and no makeup, and you still cuddle with me and whisper in my ear how beautiful i am. i'll never get to lay under the blankets with you for 5 hours and play footsie because my feet are cold. i'll never feel your strong arms holding me. i'll never get to go eveywhere with you and your family. i'll never get to hug you again, or hold your hand that fits perfectly in mine. i'll never get to die of laughter from having hour long tickle wars with you and your little sister. i'll never be able to pretend i'm mad at you and you force me to turn around and kiss you. i'll never get to write stuff on your back with my finger and have you try to guess what i wrote. (which you always epically failed at) i'll never get to make caramel apples and carve pumpkins on halloween with you again. i'll never get to kiss you again. i'll never get to kiss you again. i'll never get to kiss you again. i'll never get to do any of that stuff, plus about 50 other things we used to do with each other, ever again. our relationship was absolutely perfect. it was like the ones in the movies. everyone was so jealous of us. you treated me like an absolute princess. you seriously did. today, it's been exactly one month without you. i've never felt more broken and confused in my life. i think about you nonstop. i miss you. i miss you. i miss you. my life is crumbling around me as i speak and everything is so hard without you by my side helping me through it. i love you more than words can even begin to explain. come back. i miss you.

nmf. i wrote every single word of this. please do not steal!