When you lose someone, someone you love, when they break your heart.
It's the hardest thing you could go through. And no matter how much time has passed, it never really goes away.
You may think you're getting better, but then you get a flashback, or hear a song that reminds you of a memory, and it hits you all over again, all at once, like a stab in the chest. You fall apart, for the hundredth time. And you feel like you want to crawl under a rock and never come out.
You still love this person with all your heart even though you know you shouldn't. They hurt you worse than you've ever been hurt. They stole your happiness, but yet you still want them & only them.
Other people come along and give you chances to move on but you know you don't want to. It upsets you that you might be moving on, because you promised you never would.
And even if they broke all their promises, you still want to keep yours.
On top of that you're terrified, terrified of getting hurt again. But it's not like it matters anyway, at the end of the day you're still thinking of the person who has left you completely broken. You don't want to miss them anymore, you don't want to love them anymore, but you know you always will....