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You know what's weird?

....................................................................
I miss his endless messages about goldfish crackers...
Why?
I don't know. I ask myself all the time.
I wanted him to hold me. I wanted him to care.. He did. and He got hurt.
I hurt myself.
I just didn't want to let him in. Why? I'm still pondering that too.
I just wanted to feel safe and not go out of my comfort zone..
Now I can never see his green eyes go cross - eyed just for him being silly
for me
... or his endless messages about goldfish crackers..
I just want someone to understand me..
Why can't I find that?
I miss him so much... why did I have to let go.. why didn't I let him in?
I don't know.
Hah, I don't know is such an over-used / killed phrase. Mostly IDK.
But there's so much behind my IDK's... it's quite amazing, how much one IDK can hold.

How much one IDK can hurt,

How much one IDK can ruin.

Why did I let go?

Why do I miss his endless messages about goldfish crackers?

Why is he gone completely?
Put it this way;

idk.

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