While sitting here trying to figure out my purpose in a world
that seems to loath my existence. I've had the epiphany
that I think my purpose is to care for those who cannot care
for themselves. And if you can't care for yourself, then
you can't care for others which means I'll strike out
each and every time. It'll never matter what I do for them
or how much I care for them. They will never be able to love me
the way I love them. They'll never be able to care for me
the way I care for them. My purpose is to make others feel like
they have worth. All the while, I am chronically lonely without
ever truly being alone. I don't want to do it anymore.
Maybe that's selfish for not wanting to make others feel
worthy of something, or feel loved without having it
reciprocated back. I don't think I was ever meant to be
happy. When is someone going to come along and make me feel
worthy and loved? Where is that someone who won't just love
me for the first few years and stop trying once they have me?
Where is my person who drops everything for me because they
want to see me happy, not because my sadness makes them feel
guilty?
I don't think that person exists. It doesn't have to be
a significant other, but what about even just a friend? A
friend that doesn't make me feel like a burden when I talk
to them? A friend that texts first? A friend that keeps my
secrets and doesn't judge me for anything? A friend that
puts me ahead of other friends like I would for them?
Who am I kidding?
3 faves · 3 comments · Oct 11, 2021 4:43am
scrappy
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2 years ago
I really appreciate you taking the time out just to type this for me. Even that is a little bit of light shining down on me. I'm not perfect by any means, and I think I'm definitely labeled as the "weird girl", but I try to treat others well because I don't want anyone to feel the way I do most days.
1
reply
nmr22
·
2 years ago
I understand that so much ♡ you seem like a light yourself to have in people's lives
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nmr22 · 2 years ago
Aww I understand this feeling so much lovely, that is not your purpose though it's just a really intense feeling and I know it feels like it's everything but just from one piece of writing I can see that you are such a caring and kind person who goes out of their way for the sake of others. You deserve so much love just like the love you give to others. 💖 nobody usually knows what their purpose is, we can only assume based on feelings but even then maybe we have more than one purpose... and maybe it changes throughout our life when we grow. That's kind of just what makes some sense to me anyways. I will be your friend if you want 💖
1 reply