I was in the winter of my
life- and the men I
met
along the road
were my
only summer. At
night I fell
sleep with
visions of myself dancing and
laughing and
crying with them.
Three years down
the
line of being
on an
endless world tour and my memories of them were
the only things
that
sustained me, and
my only real happy times. I was a
singer,
not very
popular one, I once has dreams of becoming a beautiful poet- but upon
an
unfortunate
series of events
saw those dreams dashed and divided like
million stars in
the night sky that I wished on over and
over again-
sparkling and broken. But I didn't really
mind it because I
knew that
it
takes getting everything you ever wanted
and then
losing it to know
what
true freedom
is.
When the people I
used to know found out what I had been doing, how I had
been living- they
asked me why. But
theres no use in
talking to people who
have a home, they have no idea what its
like to
seek safety in other
people, for home
to be
wherever you
lied you
head.
I was always
an unusual girl,
my mother told me
that I had a
chameleon
soul. No moral
compass pointing me due north, no fixed
personality. Just
an
inner indecisiveness that was as wide
as wavering as the ocean.
And if
I
said that I didn't plan for it to turn out this way Id be lying- because I
was born to
be the other
woman. I belonged
to no one- who
belonged to
everyone, who
had nothing- who
wanted everything with a fire for
every
experience and an
obsession for
freedom that terrified me to the
point
that
I couldn't even talk about- and pushed me to a nomadic point of
madness
that both
dazzled and
dizzied me.
Every night I used to pray that Id find my
people- and
finally I did- on
the open road. We have
nothing to lose,
nothing to gain, nothing we desired
anymore- except to make our lives into a work of art.
Live fast. Die
young. Be
wild. Have
fun.
I believe in the
country America
used to be. I
believe in the person I want
to become, I believe in the freedom of the open road. And my motto
is the
same as ever:
I believe in the kindness of
strangers. And
when Im at
war with myself,
I
Ride. I Just
Ride.
Who are you?
Are you in touch with
all your darkest fantasies?
Have you created a
life for yourself where youre free to
experience them?
I Have.
I Am Fking Crazy. But
I Am Free.
- Lana Del Rey (Ride-Monologe)
