im so scared. so so scared. ive never loved some one before who
didnt betray me. and any one who i ever trusted betrayed me too.
ive grown so close... too close to him. and im afraid. so afraid. i
trust him with every thing. i'd trust him with my life. but im
so god damn afraid. i've trusted him with everything, all my
secrets and emotions. and im so scared because i know that if he
leaves then ill be destroyed, devastated. and i... and im afraid
i've started to love him more than any one else and... ive
learned over time that that is dangerous.i've taught myself to
push everyone away, to only trust myself. and ill be safe. but he
saved me from myself. and i love him so much, and trust him with
everything, and that goes against my every instinct. goes against
every thing ive ever told my self. and its making me so very
afraid. he would never hurt me, never, but i mean... ive told my
self that so many times. and.. i want to. i want so bad to push him
away, like ive taught my self to with every one else. but i cant.
ive gotten to close. i love him too much. i would die if i left.
but i tear my self apart trusting him because ive learned not to
trust any one. everything just hurst but at least with him its
bitter sweet.
im so scared. so so scared. ive never loved some one before who
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Jul 20, 2014 5:02am
Deep breaths, my love* · 9 years ago
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*hurts