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Dear boy #1.
We made out three times. January first, March fifth, and April twelfth. First of all, I have had a crush on you since middle school. Even in middle school there was a rumor you were going to ask me out but then you got nervous and never did. Then we started working together, and every time you would talk to me I would get massive butterflies. Then we started hanging out and I guess I just kept falling harder and harder for you. So on January first, we were at a New Years Party and I was not having a good time because my cousin passed away the week before so I was about to leave. I went out to my friends car and you followed me out there. I did not ask you to do that. You did that yourself. You didn't want me to leave. You held me and wanted me to talk to you and that was the first time I admitted I liked you. You said you liked me too and then you kissed me. We went back inside and that was it. Never did anything about it after that. 
March fifth we were coming home from our friends and we just dropped off the other girl and you were taking me home, but you were also taking the long way. Then we started talking about us. About why we fell apart since middle school. Then you drove up to the side of my house. I was about to get out of the car but you asked me to stay. We started talking about our feelings for eachother and you made my heart melt. You held my hand and told me you wanted to be in a relationship with me but there were so many other factors you had to take into account. You told me I gave you butterflies and you liked me. Then I was babbling on about something and you took my face in your hand and told me to just kiss you so we did. Nothing ever happened after that either. 
April twelfth. We were all at your house and you and everyone else like usual were picking on me. So I decided to go downstairs and take a breather. But you just couldn't leave me alone now could you? You had to follow me, and tell me fine reject you five times. I was confused and then you just kissed me. In the midst of all that everyone came down and saw and my best friend, got extremely upset. After that she and I didn't talk, I stopped hanging out with you guys. And you and I just stopped talking. 
Yet here we are. You keep "flirting" with me. You keep texting me all these things. You keep pulling me back in, and then for one night I'll believe you like me and that I should try super hard to keep you in my life. But then you suddenly stop. I come out of my haze and I realise that what I've been doing is for the best. Because lets be honest for a minute. You never were planning to make me yours. You were saying all of those things to just get what you wanted. You were using me. And I didn't care. I didn't care because you were someone I liked and wanted. I thought maybe if you used me enough, you would eventually fall for me. But that hasn't happened. So tell me why I should even bother, keeping your name in my phone. Why should I bother even trying with you anymore. If you say Hi, I will respond with Hi. If you ask me how I'm doing I'll say fine. But I will NOT keep being fooled by you, or playing your little games. It's not fair that everyone else can move on from you, but when I say hey yeah I'm over you, you immedietley burst into tears and saying you're sorry and you don't want me to be over you, that I'm not allowed to not have feelings for you anymore. 
I'm doing this for me. I'm doing this so I can have a reset in my life. I want a new start. You are toxic and I'm finally kicking you out of my life. 
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Dear boy #1. We made out three times. January first, March fifth,

5 faves · 1 comments · Jun 8, 2014 9:07pm

Loverbestrong

by

Loverbestrong


tags

rant · boyssuck · unseenletters · quote

AtmosFEAR · 9 years ago
I'm proud of you for this.
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