I see the sun shining in the sky, people around me being happy and I have every reason to be happy. Yet my heart feels like it is being swallowed by darkness and over-run by fear and anger. Why? I have no reason to be this way. Perhaps it is because I have hurt so many and helped so few, or that I have been so self centered and cared not for anyone but those I felt were like me; alone, unloved, unwanted and need somewhere to go. I help who ever I can and yet I hurt so many more. I hate myself for this, and for the fact that no matter how much I try to make things right things get worse. I want only one thing: forgiveness for what I have done, the pain I have caused, the hearts I have broken and the horrible things I have yet to do in life. I deserve no forgiveness and know that I will not be. I feel my heart growing colder but to all those I have hurt I will absorb all your emotional pain, after all I am the reason for most of it...