it kills me seeing how hurt you are. i hate knowing that i cant
help. i hate that i have to check you witty to see if you ok
because you wont tell me when you not. i hate that weve drifted
apart. i hate not talking to you all the time.
i miss the i love you's. i miss the goodnight beautifuls. i
miss when no matter what we were always there for each other. i
miss always going to eachother when something was
wrong.
rember planing out our summer? rember when you said you like me?
rember when we were trying to convince each other that we wanted
to go to whatever college so we could be with eachother? rember
when you called me your best friened? rember when you were trying
to stop cutting for me? rember when you were gonna start eating
for me?
what happened to all of that?
im never happy anymore. im always thinking about you. i miss you.
i started cutting again. i think about suicide more. i eat less.
i always tried to be better for you. i always thought, and still
do, that maybe if im better, youd like me more. i feel like its
my fault. i never shoulda asked you out. it was stupid. you can
do way better. i hate myself for ruining all of that. im getting
worse and worse everyday. every cut, why does it matter if you
dont care anymore? every skipped meal, why does it matter if you
dont care anymore? nothing matters if i dont matter to you. you
mean the world to me. ive tried to get over you but i cant. your
over me. why cant i get over you? all this probly sounds stupid
but its true. i just wish none of this ever happend. sometimes i
wish we never met. i wouldnt be so upset right now. but i dont
know if i could live without you. but then again, i guess im not
really living with you either....