I finishd eating
slowly on purpose, waiting for my father to leave. 10 minutes
eventually passed and by then I was clearing the table.
"Alright I'm going! Goodbye Sammy." "Bye
Dad" I shouted as he left through the front door. Once I
finished cleaning everything up, I thought about going over
to Ryan's. I had my mind set on going so I got in the
shower and got ready. I got dressed in ripped jean shorts, a
black soccer tshirt, and brushed my long brown hair into a
ponytail. I put eyeliner on my eyelid as well as the bottom
and lightly applied mascara. I wiped the remains off
underneath my eye and examined them. By now my eyes were
lighter and I looked almost happy. I looked like I was a
person who had their life together and in order. I
wasn't. I was a 16 year old girl who was raised by a man
who struggles with the loss of my mother more than me
sometimes. My mom died after struggling cancer for 4 months.
She wasn't strong enough to fight it and eventually gave
up. She died about 6 months ago and it's still hard to
cope with. My best friend is Ryan if it's not hard to
figure that one out. He has been since the 6th grade. His
brain doesn't work the same as the rest of us. He sees
everything different, always realizing the bad in things.
It's sometimes hard to be his friend because he's so
difficult and puts everyone through hard times. But that
being said, it just means he needs me more. Ryan's tall.
He has about 5 inches over me, him being 6 foot. He has brown
short hair that flows in different directions but is yet
perfectly perfect. He has light brown eyes, almost a hint of
gold. His hands are big and his arms are as well. Ryan's
strong, but so emotionally weak. A lot of the girls like him,
but he never opens up to any of them, except me but he'd
never think of me as more than just a friend. I'm okay
with that but sometimes I let my mind think we're more
than that. Sometimes I imagine us being a couple. A couple
everyone is jealous of. A couple who does everything together
and never gets sick of eachother. I never tell him I imagine
so because then it might make him think I like him, which I
don't. I wouldn't say I'm ugly, but I'm not
pretty either. I have countless flaws and everytime I glance
at my reflection, I depict them carefully, regretting ever
being born. I have friends of my own, 6 to be exact. Other
than Ryan, there's Tommy who happens to like me but
won't admit it, Rachel who happens to like Tommy and
sometimes I think she secretly hates me, Nathan and Nicki who
have been dating for 2 years now, TJ, and Molly. My closest
friend out of our group is Molly. She cheers me up most of
the time and puts my feelings before her own. As a group, we
do pretty much everything together with the exception of when
I hangout with Ryan alone or Nathan and Nicki.
