I shook my head no
and he moved to the left, closer to the wall, letting me
pass. He looks so sorry for me and I knew he knew he
couldn't help and that hurt me. Before I shut my door, he
murmured something but I didn't hear it. My window was
still open. Seeing that, the scene flashed over in my head
yet again. I tried my best to shut it out. I glanced at my
alarm clock, 5:14am. It hasn't even been an hour. I felt
sick and I just wanted to sleep. My head was pounding and
felt like it was going to explode. My stomach was empty, yet
full of emptiness which make me feel like puking. I was weak
and I was tired. I was exhausted and I was scared. I slowly
layed back down in my bed and pulled my blankets up to my
chin. I starred at the ceiling, struggling to figure out what
happened. I was lost in my thoughts when a quiet knock
sounded from my door. I didn't move, just waited. My dad
slowly opened the door and came in. "Sam, I know
um." He had a hard time putting words together and I
felt more sympathy for him. "Sam, I. I'm really
sorry." I continued staying silent because I didn't
know what to say. In the corner of my eye I saw him stand
there, helpless. "I just wanted to let you know I'm
here. I know you don't normally come to me for anything,
and I just..I don't know. I hope everything's okay.
And I know I'm not as good as the whole advice giving
like your mom was but that doesn't mean I won't
try..." With that, I turned around completely, facing
the opposite wall. That must have been a sign for him that he
should go because he started to leave. A tear slid down my
cheek and I squeezed my eyes shut trying to hold it in. His
footsteps stopped and more hesitation occured. "I love
you, Samantha." The door quickly shut and the hallway
light turned off. I heard his bedroom door shut and
that's when I lost it.. I turned my face into my pillow
and bawled. I sobbed for what seemed to be hours until my
eyes felt completely exhausted. I eventually fell
asleep.
