I JUST WANTED TO TELL YOU

When you ignored me and refused to talk to me I was hurt.
I really wanted to be your friend, but when it continued for months
I started getting really self-conscious.
It wasn't just about wanting to get to know you more,
it was about wanting to fix what was so wrong with me that you wouldn't even give me a chance.
I was the only person you wouldn't talk to.
I was the only person you refused to acknowledge.
I started questioning everything about me.
I started to hate myself.
I hated my thighs. I hated my face. I hated my stomach. I hated my hair. I hated my arms. I hated my voice. I hated my smile. I hated my personality. I hated my humor. I hated my intellect. I hated everything about me.
I started to stay to myself more whenever I was around you.
I started to question everything on my plate.
I started to run continuously and I've even fainted before.
I started to cut; I started to binge.
All in the hopes that I would fix whatever was wrong with me,
but this wasn't for you anymore because I knew that at that point I didn't care if you thought there was something wrong with.
I knew there was something wrong with me.
You twisted my mind into thinking that I'm this horrific version of a girl.
And you know what?
I am.