Trigger
warning
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Triggered. Chapter Three.
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“This is a very beautiful place. One day, I’d like to
go in there.” I said as I slowly walked over to a tree and
ran my hand over it.
Cory agreed and said, “Me too. But I’ve
seen better places.”
That’s when I looked at him, finally
interested.
“You have?” I asked. This is the most
beautiful place I’ve ever seen and it’s like
I’m homesick for something more.
Cory smiled at me.
“Sit young one, I have much to tell
you.” He said as he sat against the trees stump. I sat next
to him but not to close. Then suddenly he got a bit closer,
claiming there was a root bothering his bottom.
“So tell me about this oh to beautiful
place.” I laughed and smiled.
Cory looked at me, his eyes seemed to shine.
It’s like I could see myself in the beautifulness of them.
I looked almost happy; and I almost was happy. Suddenly Cory
leaned in a bit. I looked away from him and at the school. I
could feel a blush coming across my cheeks.
“So this place. I was camping with my dad last
summer and we went to the woods. I don’t remember where but
there was this river and it was truly amazing. The rushing water;
so cool on a warm morning baring lovely fish of all sizes. The
trees were so tall full of dark rich green leaves. Claw marks
from wild bears. The claw marks went up so high it was hard to
tell how high exactly.” Cory kept on describing the
beautiful woods and rushing river.
I closed my eyes and gently leaned my head on his
shoulder imagining the amazing feeling that would come with
seeing all of this. Then Cory stopped talking the image faded. I
could feel the hardness of his strong shoulder and the warmth
radiating from his closeness. I started to blush again, but
I kept my eyes closed hoping Cory wouldn’t tell.
“Nine.” Cory said softly. His fingers
tracing over my hand warming my palms. I gently pulled away from
him and sat up; eyes open.
“Um. Yeah?” I said taking a chance to
look at him. He looked kind of hurt, but his eyes still had hope
in them. This isn’t going to end well for earthier of us.
He nervously smiled at me again.
“Uh, would you like to… Go out with
me?” He asked cautiously.
I looked away, my eyes on the gray school building.
I could feel my fake smile breaking. There’s no way I
could be with someone like him. He’s way too good for me. I
couldn’t stay happy enough for a relationship. Tears
burned at my eyes. I could never get close to anyone no
matter how hard I try; I’d always mess up in the end;
always. I thought to myself.
“Cory.” I paused trying to keep my breathing
under control. “There’s someone else, I can’t
be with you. I’m sorry.” I stood up and started to
run. My lungs burned, and it hurt to breath. I kept running. I
ran to the handicap bathroom and locked the door. I threw my book
bag across the small room it crashed on the other side and most
of the contents fell out.
Looking at the little white box that I keep my fake
glasses in fell out. Hot tears were streaming down my cheeks. I
hurriedly went over and picked up the box opening it up. Folded
neatly was my orange glasses cleaner. I gently took it out and
unfolded it taking out the sharp blade.
I carefully took off my shoes along with my black
slacks. I folded my pants up and placed them on the counter with
my shoes. I took the blade off of the square of fabric and poked
my finger. I started to cut along my thighs and hips; over old
scars and fresh cuts. Blood started to leak from my open flesh. I
kept going; I couldn’t even feel the pain. Everything was
numb but I wanted to make sure. I quickly grabbed tissues and
started wiping off the blood from my legs before it got to my
socks.
I went to my bag and got out my ‘make up
bag’, I opened it up and took out a few packets of gauze
and medical tape that I took from John. Quickly I wrapped myself
up and taped everything down making sure I wouldn’t bleed
through my gauze and pants. After a moment of waiting and
cleaning I put my shoes and pants back on finally feeling what
I’ve done.
My pants look a little bulky but not enough to
question. I waited by the door curled up in a ball, a few tears
dripped down my cheeks. Quickly I wiped them away and gathered up
all of my belongings and stuffed it in my book bag. I looked
around the small little room to make sure I didn’t miss
anything. I washed my hands then headed out of the
bathroom.
