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hi, I like feedback on my writing.

"You shouldn't do that, you know." you said, pointing to the cigarette I was lifting to my lips.
"Why?" I asked, lifting the object in question back to my waiting lips and taking a deep drag before exhaling tiredly.
You watched the smoke spiral elegantly in the evening air for a moment, considering your answer.
"It might kill you," you answered finally, looking up into the face of the empty shell that was once your best friend.
"So would getting hit by a truck," I replied, smiling to myself and taking another drag of the cigarette, "but we still cross the road everyday."



 

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hi, I like feedback on my writing. "You shouldn't do

31 faves · 16 comments · Jan 1, 2013 4:05pm

Chlohoey

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Chlohoey


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imonlyhuman* · 1 decade ago
AMAZING!
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moveslikegaskarth · 1 decade ago
I am so incredibly jealous of your writing skills, good lord. From the word choice to the way you put it into this glorious three paragraph piece.
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friends_is_all_we_will_ever_be · 1 decade ago
i agree with annaisaninja77, this is so amazing. this could honestly be like the worlds biggest life lesson about smoking, whats your inspiration?
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Aurora876 · 1 decade ago
That's pretty good, I like how you set up the background pretty quick.
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TouchMyCookiesAndYouDie · 1 decade ago
Amazing.
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LiliBlackHeart · 1 decade ago
I seriously love it. my writing is s.hit next to yours
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barakat* · 1 decade ago
I'm extremely serious when I say this, but how do you do this. HOW. There's like, four sentences and you might as well publish it as a book. This is really good.
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Chlohoey · 1 decade ago
omg. i feel like jesus or something right now just thank you so much.c':
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barakat* · 1 decade ago
you are so welcome jesus
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ForeverAndEver16 · 1 decade ago
AMAZING.
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Chlohoey · 1 decade ago
ah, thank youu.c:
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ForeverAndEver16 · 1 decade ago
you're welcome :)
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TheNewGuyInTown · 1 decade ago
Wow! You are really good at writing love!:) xx
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Chlohoey · 1 decade ago
yo, thanks.c:
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TheNewGuyInTown · 1 decade ago
Welcome;)
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Chlohoey · 1 decade ago
winky faces suggest naughty things.
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