i could say it twice

6

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This time when my alarm rings, I'm excited. It's the last day of school, and I have to look decent. I jump in the shower, scribble on my make up, run the straightener through my red hair, and steer myself to my closet to pick out an outfit. I see my favorite pair of jeans, and slide them on. 

"Wait a second..." I say. 

My pants are too big. They won't stay up. MY PANTS ARE TOO BIG! 

"MOM! MOM!" I shout. "MY PANTS ARE TOO BIG!" I hear her clapping and saying "Yay! Finally!"

I pull out a pair of "motivation jeans" and slide them over my legs. At the bottom I roll them into capris and check myself out in the mirror. I've lost my pumpkin shaped figure; it's become more of an hourglass. I place a lacey tank top over a cami, and slide on some flip flops. I run down stairs and happily do my work out. I can't stop yet, not until I reach 119 pounds. I'm at 133 right now. I actually could stay at this weight and stop right now, but then I would feel like I'm quitting. 133 is an amazing weight though, and even though it's gradual weight loss, I feel like I'm a new person. I look at the pictures my mom took of me each time I weighed in, and I can see a difference. I grab the pictures and stick them in my folder. My mom says that since I look so good right now, she'll drive me. I want to refuse her, but then I remind myself that I deserve this reward. 

It's a little weird not walking to school, but since I'm not, I had time to eat breakfast at home. Then we get in the car and drive to school. I confidently walk through the doors this time, and notice that the stares aren't stares of revulsion, they're stares of impression. 

"Lookin' good, Del." Jette's now ex-boyfriend John says. 

"Thanks, John." I give him a bit of a flirty smile. 

"Do you want to hang today, maybe get a shake?" I freeze. I don't want to get a shake. I want to hang with him, but not get a shake. Milkshakes disgust me now. 

"I'll hang with you, but I'm not getting a shake. We can go to the movies, or something."

"Okay, The Dark Knight Rises it is." He smirks. 

"Alright. If you want to go to the one in Bourten I understand that you don't want to be seen with 'Delardey'." I tell him.

"No. I'd give anything to be seen with DeLANey." He says putting his hand on my cheek. My eyes flicker over to Jette standing across the hallway with a horrified look on her face.

"Awww... that's sweet. See you later!" I croon. As soon as John leaves, Jace appears. 

"He just likes you because you look hot now." He says flatly.

"Why do you care?" I spit. "Maybe that's what I want." He thinks I look hot?

"Because, if he really was so... into you, he would have done something before."

"Before? Before what, Jace? Before when I was unhappy with myself? When you tortured me? I'd like to enjoy being called  anything but fat. Because that's all I've ever been called. EVER. And now that there's been a change of events, you suddenly care?" 

"Yeah, I do care. Because you know what? You know how I know there's something wrong with him? Because if he was the right guy, he wouldn't care what you used to look like. He would love you anyway." He says fiercely. Then, more quietly, almost inaudibly, he says, "Like me."

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