i
stood looking at myself in the mirror.
my eyes. dead. there wasn't a light in sight.
my smile. gone. hasn't been around in ages.
i lifted off my sweatshirt, and sighed.
my stomach. bruised. i punched myself too hard.
my stomach. sored. so many pinches lately.
my stomch. lines. so many cuts. how was i living?
i slid my shirt off my shoulder. and stared.
so many cuts. thirty four at last count.
when was that? yesterday? tuesday?
i couldn't remember when i counted last.
but there was already more added from last count.
i touched the mirror softly, leaving my fingers on the cold
surface.
and for a second i saw the girl i use to be.
my green eyes bright, hiding a laugh.
my smile wide, laughing at my thoughts.
skin smooth and clear, not a scrape in sight.
when was the last time i had bright eyes? a beautiful smile?
too long ago. that's all i know. it's been too long that
i've been like this.
thinking of everything scared me.
how could i not remember everything?
what led me to be so awful to myself?
too many reasons. too many times.
i let the tears fall for a few minutes.
slow and quiet. no one heard me. no one ever did.
then i grabbed my razor again. and drug it down my shoulder.
you can add maybe four or six to the last count.
whatever that one was. maybe 42? 56?
"jeeshaaa!" i heard my mom calling.
"coming mom!" i carefully pulled my sweatshirt over
me.
i cringed at the pain, and i knew my shirt would be red later.
i wiped my eyes and fixed my make up.
i've been doing that a lot.
i forced a smile on my face and told my reflection
"no one can ever know"
and i shut the light off.
i would avoid mirrors the rest of the day.
i stood looking at myself in the mirror. my eyes. dead. there
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Jul 28, 2012 7:12pm
beckyanne1995 · 1 decade ago
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its really good. (: