I Wish 

chapter sixteen.

I had no idea where I was and it was dark, but I walked until I found a beach. This must be the beach they were talking about. It was pretty, but my mind was too clouded with the argument to enjoy it. That was mine and Zayn’s first fight and I wasn’t sure how to handle it all. I sat down in the sand and ran my hands through it. It’s strange how this whole beach was made up with little grains of sand. It was also strange how much my mind was wandering, as I tried to not think about the things he had said to me. I don’t care if he meant them or not, hurtful words like that were what got me into the position in the first place. “Briana" heard a familiar voice call my name, out of breath behind me. Harry. “How did you find me!?” he sat down next to me, catching his breath. “I followed you. I don’t know what happened, but I wasn’t going to let you run around here by yourself knowing that you had no idea where to go.” Why did Harry chase after me, and Zayn didn’t? He really didn’t care that much? “Briana, tell me what happened.” My mind fought back and forth on whether I should tell him what happened or not. “What did you whisper to Zayn in the kitchen tonight?” If he lies to me I’m gunna punch him in his pretty little face. “I.. uh.. I just asked him if he noticed that you don’t really.. eat. ..” He didn’t lie. Does this mean I can trust him? “Briana..” I cut him off. “You can call me Bri. ..” he always said my full name, like he was afraid to speak to me. He quickly corrected himself. “Bri. .. Why don’t you ever eat? Is something going on? Do we make you feel uncomfortable?” Everyone makes me feel uncomfortable when it comes to eating around people. “It’s not that. .. I just..” he stopped me again and looked straight into my then green eyes as he spoke. “Do you have an eating disorder? ..” I felt like someone just put me in front of a thousand people and told my secret to everyone. I felt my eyes fill up with tears again and he put an arm around me and pulled me close. I guess he took that as a yes. “Shh, it’s okay.” His hand had found its place on the back of my head, his fingers interlocked into my hair. For a minute, I swear I felt butterflies in my stomach. No. I couldn’t feel like this. No Briana, you’re with Zayn. You already made this mistake once. But why did I feel this way when he looked at me? He leaned in closer to my face, lightly pulling my head towards him with his hand. “No. I’m sorry. I can’t do that to Zayn.” I stood up quickly, sand falling from me and he panicked. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. That was my fault.” I couldn’t make a big deal about it, it wasn’t all his fault. “It’s okay, really.” I wasn’t sure what to do, or where to go. He put his hand out to me, motioning for me to help him up. I took his hand and pulled him from the sand. “Look, you’re gorgeous. You’re the most fit girl I’ve seen Zayn with. You don’t need to starve yourself. You’re beautiful in my eyes.” he pulled me in for another hug, before locking his arm around mine. “Let’s go home, Zayn wasn’t happy when you left.” We walked home, quietly and awkwardly at first but when he started making jokes we laughed the rest of the way. The cabin seemed quiet walking in, everyone asleep.. but when me and Harry separated ways and I walked into mine and Zayn’s room, It was a totally different story.