I
clutch my siblings' hands as we walk towards the baggage claim.
"Riri when am I gonna see mommy again?" I try not to look
Sarah in the eyes as I say, "not for a while Sarah. We're
gonna stay with Aunty Clara for a while here in America
okay?"
"But when can I see her? I wanna see Mommy!"
"Sarah can you please stop? I'm trying to think." She
is silent. My head is filled with concern as I run my tongue over
my straight teeth, glad that my mother spent money, money that we
didn't have, to make sure I'm not another Irish stereotype.
I should have known something was wrong when she would spend money
we didn't have, or when I had to stop trying in school to keep
our house running, or maybe when she would just ignore me for days
at a time after Sarah and Brendan's dad died.
"Their father died as a hero Irina." She would say to me
every night while I made dinner. "A real hero. Firefighter,
why did I fall in love with him? He was nicer than your dad was
Irina. I mean their dad wouldn't beat us around right?
They're such good kids, look at where they came from" I
would just nod to hide the hurt she was causing.
I see a familiar person in all black running towards us. "Oh
Irene! How are you three? I'm so sorry you had to stay with
your neighbors but Jessi was in the hospital and we just
couldn't-"
"It's Rina." I interupt. "My name, it's Rina
or they call me Riri and mom called me Irina. No one calls me
Irene"
"Of course I'm so sorry! Let's go to the car okay?
Some of your stuff is there already. But you can borrow Jessi's
clothes for school tomorrow. Everyone will be kind I promise. I
spoke to that principal and if anything happens there-
well it won't." I don't respond as I lead my siblings
to the car.
"Oh Rina, Jessi used her birthday money to buy you this."
She hands me a white iPhone in a pink case. This was something Mum
wouldn't even bother trying to buy.
"Thanks Clara."
"You should thank Jessi, not me."
"Why was she in the hospital anyway?"
"Oh well she has epilepsy and well that's when we found
out. She had a seizure and it was just so scary for all of us.
She's so excited to see you. It's been too long. Five
years? She says she only remembers your accent. Oh she was
fascinated by it when she was younger."
"Great a freak with a weird accent will only be friends with
the freak who vibrates." I mutter.
"What Dear?"
"Nothing. I'm tired I'm going to take a short rest
okay?"
"Of course. And Rina, I'm so sorry you had to find
Terri-your mother. I can't believe my sister could hang
herself." Her voice cracks. "I'm sorry. Just go to
bed okay?"
