Secret #3

every second im awake. no, alive;
i think about it.
i think about two things.
its horrible.
i think about how bad i want to smoke.  
i always am biting my nails because of it.
ive already been grounded for it before.
so, ya know i dont keep my own.
the second is, well, cutting.
i think about how amazing it feels to cut.
how the blade is almost a sickening feel.
but, i keep going back.
but, its always in the back of my mind.... 
its a disease of the mind & soul.</3