After the dinner we headed back to the house with
my family, Jeremy, Faith's aunt, uncle, child and herself. Once
everyone was inside I pulled Jeremy out on the porch with me. He
kissed me lightly on the forehead, while motioning me to sit down.
Once we were situated he looked deep into eyes, "What's
wrong?" I sighed, I guess I really am bad at hiding my
emotions. "Jeremy, it's really nothing. I mean
really." Jeremy gave me a look telling me he did not believe
me. Once again I sighed and looked down, "Jack is going to
have a mass in his honor next Saturday." Jeremy put a
reassuring arm around my shoulder, "I know it will be hard,
but it will be ok." I shook my head, "It's not that,
I mean it is but not really, it's just that... You." I
said in a jumble. Jeremy looked confused, "Me? Why?" I
looked down in embarrassment, "I don't know if I can do it
without you... I mean you understand Jack and I hope he understands
you, it's just I can't go back there with his family with
you..." When I looked up I could see that Jeremy was touched
but slightly hurt. "You don't want people to know about
me?" I shook my head, "No I do it's just that Jack
died not even a year ago and I have a boyfriend. I can't go
back with people thinking I didn't care about him, and that
I've moved on..." once the words were out I wished I could
take them back, the look on Jeremy's face was mixed with hurt,
betrayal, and sympathy. "Jeremy... Please... I didn't mean
it like that... I meant for Jack's family..." he nodded
his head, "I get what your saying, but Amy people don't
just expect you to stop living. I thought you stopped caring what
people thought?" I sighed, my eyes stinging with tears,
"I'm not Jeremy. Me being ok? It's all a charade.
I'm only happy when I'm playing soccer and with you. And I
do care what people think of me..." I was trying hard to not
cry as Jeremy slowly lifted up my pant leg exposing my scarred
skin, "you have these as a reminder, don't let society win
Amy." Jeremy stood up and said, "I'll come with you
to the mass, but only you can decide how people are going to
react." Then he kissed me slowly on the lips and brought me
back inside. That night after Jeremy had left and everyone else was
asleep, Faith crawled up into my bed with me. "Amy? Are you
still awake?" she asked in a sad voice. "Yeah, I'm
awake." I sat up in bed and looked up at Faith. I could tell
she had been crying, "What's wrong?" I asked even
though I clearly knew the answer. "I can't do it Amy... I
can't. Griffin can't see her... I won't let him."
I put a comforting arm around her, "You don't have to
go..." she shook we head violently, "No. I have to go,
it's just he left me pregnant and alone." She said while
staring at Sarah, who was sleeping in her crib. "Faith, what
are you going to do when Sarah's older and she asks about her
dad?" Faith shrugged her shoulders, "I'll tell her,
he left us." I looked down, "Faith he left you in the
beginning, you're pushing him away now..." Faith started
crying, "I only want what's best for her. She's my
whole world Amy, my whole damn world." I looked up at her
shaking body, "I'm not saying to forgive him, I'm just
saying let him at least see his daughter."
Fave/comment ahhhh I've been so busy!!! Soo I have a
few words of wisdom... We know who we are, but not what we may be
-William Shakespeare... And one more thing... Ich liebe dich get
better ali krieger (it's a soccer thing... USWNT) The one and
only JULIE (julie14472) posted this again for her. I'm just
such a nice person. follow meehhh(:
