time after
time
part
#59
i recollected myself, and walked over, and
slipped into a seat in the back. the priest was saying his
final words as the casket was being lowered into the ground, and
i had to look away. after everyone got up and were making
small talk with each other. i didn't really fit in with
the family,so i just sat there, staring at the men covering the
hole with dirt. i heard someone come sit next to me, and i
looked over and cordin was sitting there. i had a tear in
my eye, and just as it slid, his slid off his face, and i wiped
it with my finger.
"god this sucks." he said.
"this really sucks." i said, and he looked at me.
"you just said 'sucks.' you might as well
smoke." i stopped and looked at him gravely.
"kidding." he smiled. i looked back at the men.
"bad joke." he commented.
"not that funny." i said.
"sorry." he said, and looked again.
"i can't watch this. ray that's my mom. and
they're burying her, into the ground."
"that's just your mom's body. that's not
your mom. she's out there, somewhere looking out for
you."
"i really hope so." he said. "hey wanna go
shoot?" he looked down at my cast, and his eyes were
full of regret.
"more than anything." i said, and i stood up and so did
he, and we walked out of the place of sorrow. cordin wanted
to drive me home because 1. he drove with his dad, so he
didn't have a car. and 2. he didn't think i could
drive with my cast which 3. i already did. we didn't
need to talk, we just let the silence comfort us because we
didn't know what else to say. we passed my old high
school, which i pointed out to cordin. i remembered the
first day of school there, just as i did with the other 32
billion. this one was different though. i had rob
with me this time, and we walked into school on the first day,
not holding hands to start any bad rumors about the new
kids. these girls were staring at him as soon as he walked
in, which made me laugh. i remember him walking me to my
locker, when the girls lacrosse coach came up to me and started
talking about the season and workouts. after she left, the
bell rang, so rob kissed me goodbye, and i had never been stared
at by every single person in a hallway as i did that day.
after school that day i met him by his car with all his new
friends, me of course not making any because i'm the quiet
new girl, and a few of them were hitting on me. rob just
laughed, in his orange university of virginia tshirt, his
blue eyes shining, his hair flipped on his head, and his white
teeth twinkled in the sun. And i swear i fell a little more
in love with the kid. i was snapped back to reality when we
got back to our houses, and of course at my house, no one was
home. cordin went to his house to change, and i went to
mine. after climbing into my dark blue shorts and white u
of v tshirt, i grabbed my stick and walked outside. i could
almost shoot, it'll be okay. i figured, and cordin was
sitting on my step playing with the strings on his head.
his hair was all disshevelled, which made me laugh, and we walked
to his car, and he drove us to the school. no one was on
the top field, so he grabbed the balls and we walked up to the
top. He was practicing on the wall, while i just sat there
figuring out a way to make this possible. I just sat there
and cradled my stick remembering the christmas i had gotten it
from my parents. it was just last year, rob's last
christmas, but he and his family were up in the poconos, so my
family and i were opening up our presents. I was sort of
depressed because rob wasn't with me, but i knew he was
having a blast snowboarding, so i just watched jason and
kara's faces light up over their presents. i had gotten a new
iphone for christmas, so i wasn't really expecting anything
else. we were pretty much snowed in,and the skies were
darkening.
"hey ray, can you do me a favor and go turn on the lights
outside?" my mom asked me.
"sure." i said,and i lazily got up and walked to the
front door. i saw headlights pull into the neighboorhood,
but i ducked to the side to turn on the icicle lights we had
hanging from the overhang to the front of our house. all of a
sudden i heard a "hey!" and i knew i was
home. i looked up to see rob outside his car holding a
lacrosse stick in his hand with snow blowing all around him.
"rob!" i shouted and lept barefoot in the snow and
jumped into his arms. he braced my weight and dropped the
stick, as i wrapped my cold feet around his waist and i looked up
at him in the snow.
"what are you doing here?" i asked in shock.
"christmas is for spending time with the people who mean the
most to you. i was missing just one person." he smiled
as i buried my hands under his hood and he kissed me in the
snow.
"oh, i almost forgot." he said, still holding onto
me,and grabbing the stick.
"merry christmas!"
"you're the only present i could've asked for."
i pecked him on the cheek as he carried me inside to greet the
entire family.
"she found her gift." my mom said as she opened the
keurig to put in a new container to make for rob. my feet
were freezing so i went to dry them off as rob took off his coat
and sat down.
"you knew he was coming?" i asked.
"of course. why would i ask you to turn on the lights
at 11:30 in the morning?" my mom asked rhetorically.
"good one." i said, and i jumped into rob's
arms. that day we did everything, made christmas cookies,
he opened my gift for him, it was just a northface, but he loved
it.
"i've wanted one for forever!" he smiled, and
leaned in to kiss me. i took a shower and he just sat there
and tried to play the piano. even when i got out he was
still trying to play, and i just laughed.
"how are you so good at this?" he asked, clearly
frustrated.
"i'm not sure. why are you so good at
lacrosse?"
"it's a gift." he smiled at me, and wrapped me up
in a huge hug, and i knew i had gotten everything i could ever
ask for. the thunder of cordin's shot echoing off the post
rocketed me back into reality, and i felt
empty.
3 faves · Dec 22, 2011 11:08pm