Hidden Behind the Smile
Chapter 20; August
21st,2011
I got to the Agia's house
before Albie did. I was
playing barbies with Parker when he came in.
After a little while of Albie, Parker, Kayla and I
talking, Leah called us in for dinner. We were sitting around
the table when Leahs started talking, "Alright, I know
you're all probably wondering why your here. Its been a month
since Louis is gone, and we're all grieving and remembering
him. I had known this before Louis left us, but wanted to
make sure it was true before I said anything." She hesitated
before speaking again, "I'm pregnant," she said with a smile.
We all shrieked with joy! Finally, after
the hardtimes we had through the past
month, happiness. A reason to celebrate, and to be happy. We
finished dinner cheerfully and buzzed about when Leah was due
and such. Albie and I hung around after dinner, and
we played games as a family. Even though I'm not related to
any of these people, I feel as if I am. I feel as if,
Louis dieing, brought us together. Chris is a
father figure to me now, and I can go to Leah with any
problem I have. Albie and I had always been close, but
now we're closer then ever. He's the only one that knows
about my cutting. He tries to stop me from doing it, he says
Louis wouldn't want me to do that to myself, but I can't stop
now. Kayla, Parker, and I are closer now too. Parker always
says she looks up to me, and Kayla says I'm her older sister
she never had. I like being close to them, it gives me a
sense of being with Louis. Louis and Kayla are so alike, and
that almost, comforts me. It was getting late,
so Albie walked me home and I went to my
bathroom and threw up my dinner. I sat in my bathroom and cut
my hip. I cut there instead of my wrists so nobody ever sees
the cuts. The pain from cutting is excrutiating, but
I continue to dig the blade deeper into my skin. I wash the
blood off of my fresh wounds and put on pajamas. I put on 8
Mile and fell asleep. While I was asleep, I had a dream.
Louis was in it, and he was trying to tell me something. I
was at his house in the pool, and in the pool it was harder
to hide my cuts. Louis noticed them and yelled at me. He told
me to stop, or else I would really hurt myself. I refused to
stop and he got madder and madder each time I said no. He
told me I better stop or I would end up like he is. That
didn't make me want to stop, that motivated me to keep doing
it so I would be with him again. He ran to my house and took
any razor from my bathroom he could find and threw it into a
fire, spontaneuously in the middle of
the street. Then he yelled at me one last time and told me to
stop, and he was gone. I woke up and my heart was pounding.
'Maybe I should stop cutting...' I thought to
myself.
4 faves · 1 comments · Aug 15, 2011 12:18am
softballchica15 · 1 decade ago
august 21st is my birthday!
0 reply