I'm giving up.

I can't always be the girl you run to;
looking to find advice on your "broken heart"
[because mine has been broken 10 times longer]
I can't always hug you & comfort you & assure you that everything will be perfectly fine.
[because when I hug you, my heart breaks even more knowing you love her]
I can't always answer my phone everytime you call just because you need someone to cry to
[because half the time, i'm crying for the same reasons you are. you can't see me like this]
I can't always lie to you and tell you it will be alright.
[because i'd be lying to myself, if i told you this - it won't be alright]
I can't always smile & pretend I'm happy for you when she comes back around.
[because the day she comes back to you, is the day i'm at my weakest] 
I can't always be that girl you introduce to your girlfriends as "my best friend"
[because i'm always going to want to be more then that]
I can't always get up 2 hours before I have to just to look presentable for you.
[because you don't notice when I do, but you notice when I don't] 
I can't always hold your hand & walk you through your life giving you all the answers, all the time.
I can't keep doing this. Because everytime I do something for you, you do nothing for me, but simply
smile & thank me for being such a great "best friend" I will always want to be more. You don't understand
how selfish you are being. I love you. No, not like a brother, not like a friend, more than that. & You can see
it in my eyes, but you're just too caught up in the girl who broke your heart more than once. But it's all about
you. It will always be.  & maybe,
I should just give up</3

venting from awhile ago. not my best but whateverr=]
i don't care if you think it's ugly. it's freakin' 2 am & i do not feel
like making it beautiful right now. kay? =]=p