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Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman

who was particularly despondent
over the recent death of her husband Earl.
She decided that she would just
kill herself and join him in death.
Thinking that it would be best to
get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old
Army pistol and made the decision to
shoot herself in the heart since
it was so badly broken in the first place.
Not wanting to miss the vital organ and
become a vegetable and burden to someone,
she called her doctor to inquire
as to just exactly where the heart would be.
"On a woman," the doctor said,
"your heart would be just below your left breast."
Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital
with | a | gunshot | wound | to | her | knee(:
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Aging Mildred was a 93 year old woman who was particularly despondent

47 faves · 12 comments · Aug 9, 2009 7:02pm

soccachk547

by

soccachk547


tags

funny

horse89lover1 · 1 decade ago
I get it!! you have 2 think about it!!
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drpepper · 1 decade ago
i dont get it please explain:D
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soccerbabe09 · 1 decade ago
HAHA eww! its gross but funny xDD
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whoaaxxkmg · 1 decade ago
i dont get it ..
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nodxo3 · 1 decade ago
HHAHAHA. LMFAO.
i didn't get it at first, then i realized...
ewww. ahahhahahhahahhaha.
i love nasty jokes. xD
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blonde_at_heart23 · 1 decade ago
This is hilarious:D
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Audrey_oxoxo_x3 · 1 decade ago
HAHAHAHAH ew, HAHAHHA thats funny XD
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Peace_Love_Fantasy01 · 1 decade ago
lmfao
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xxericaaaax33es · 1 decade ago
haha thats funny
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kaseyxo · 1 decade ago
her boobs are saggy...

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ScorpioChick0634 · 1 decade ago
Im confused...
thumbs up 0 thumbs down reply

XoSoFtBaLlStAr_4 · 1 decade ago
i dont get it...
thumbs up 0 thumbs down reply

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