30 DAY CHALLENGE
Day 18 - The Story Behind Your Life
Let me introduce myself:
Hello, my name is Mara. I was brought into this world August 21st, 1997 in my hometown in Massachusetts at 4:45pm on a Thursday.
I was always taught to be kind, smart, to listen, and to be the best person I could be.
When I was younger my dad had, I guess you could say, "anger issues." He'd yell a lot and spank me if I misbehaved. And then he'd tell me I was stupid, useless, I never listened, dumb, etc. Over the years that really broke me down into the person I am today. So if you ever wonder why I always think negative things about myself, its because all of it was drilled into my head as a child.
I became obsessed with a guy in 5th grade and "liked" him until 8th grade. My world began to revolve around him even though he had a girlfriend. I talked about him constantly and if he was rude to my friends, I'd take his side. This led to fights with my best friend and we weren't friends for a while. We are now, but nowhere near as close as we used to be.
July 7th, 2011 my grandmother passed away. After that, my other best friend began to ignore me. She didn't talk to me until August 27th, 2011 and she said she didn't want to be my friend anymore. That really broke my heart. Ever since August 2011 I've kind of been depressed. Sometimes its more than others. I was depressed through September, October, November, and then in December my great-grandfather died. December 22nd, 2011. He was 100 years old. If he had lived 10 more days, he would've been 101. I miss him like crazy. Depression carried on and I wasn't really myself. January 27th, 2012 I began to like Tiago. I still do.
Freshman year finished and now we are into summer.
I felt/feel like people don't want me around and that really means my team. I shouldn't have cared but I did. I mean I spend almost everyday with them, so it gets to me every now and then.
On July 2nd, 2012 I tried to cut.
I didn't actually cut, just scratched. But that was enough for me. It made me feel better. I kept scratching and one night I tried to cut because I had an argument with my dad. I sat in my garage for like 2 hours and cried. I have a scar now and some days its still red. That was a couple of weeks ago.
Now I'm better because I've learned to not care as much. And because I found out someone likes me. Tiago also helped me a lot.
My friend's older brother likes me and he is a senior. He isn't attractive, but he is sweet. He knows a lot of facts. So I guess that is it for now. I got back from vacation last night and I realized I needed to continue these. Thanks for reading my story.
~Mara~
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