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krazykatiexox16
posted a quote
June 15, 2009 2:14pm UTC

what would happen if...
joe jonas starred in Twilight?
bella swan: you never eat or drink anything...
joe jonas: how else am i going to fit into my skinny jeans?
bella swan: i know what you are.
joe jonas: say it out loud.
bella swan: Jonas.
joe jonas: are you afraid?
bella swan: whats the worst your gonna do to me? dump me over the phone?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 1856 points

Gl4m0urCh1ck
posted a quote
April 25, 2009 8:37pm UTC

I Hate It When People Ask
1) Can I ask you a question? (didnt gimme a choice there, did ya sunshine?)
2) Did you get a haircut? (no it shrunk..!!)
3) Did you lose weight? (yeah. it just vanished!)
4) Did you catch a fish? (nope. i talked it into giving himself up.)
5) *waiter* Table for how many? (one hundred and twelve. us 3 would like to switch seats every 4 minutes)
6) Were you sitting there? (yes. me and my imaginary friend steve.)
7) Your not wearing that out are you? (actually i was planning on going naked)
8) Is that yours? (no i stole it...!)
9) *watching a trick* Am i supposed to pick a card? (no your supposed to pick your nose)
10) Are you going to eat that? (only if you want it)
11) *doctor* How are you today? (Great! I just like your company(: )
12) *clerk at store* Is that all? (why? wasnt this enough??)
13) Where did you get that accent? (i bought it on ebay)
14) Hey, are you moving? (nope. we just like to pack our stuff up in boxes every week)
15) Are you always funny? (no, i only make a special effort on tuesdays and thursdays)
*hope yah likeeee!!(:

👍 this is good · read the comments · 3032 points

xXTwilightlvrXx1901
posted a quote
August 13, 2009 7:11pm UTC

Who else thinks we should bring back [ nap times ] in school?
Favor this if you do because i would
love to be able to sleep in school (:

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 77 points

posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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xxkatienicholexx
posted a quote
August 13, 2009 9:44pm UTC

click to see this quote

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Sillyxxgirl56
posted a quote
August 7, 2009 9:54am UTC

Today,
I was at the supermarket with my mom and I saw a Hillshire Farm product.
I thought of the commercial and said,
"When I say Hillshire you say farm, Hillshire!" not expecting anybody to say anything.
Somebody behind me screamed "FARM! GO MEAT!"
This easily made my month.
Rate high if you like(:

👍 this is good · read the comments · 118 points

xoGAMERCHICKx3
posted a quote
August 26, 2009 12:13am UTC

B A R B I E ?
Very funny. If Barbie were a real person, be very well aware that
her boobs would be so big and her feet would be [ so small ] that
she wouldn't be able to stand up, her head would be the same
size as her waist, her legs would be 50% longer than her arms,
she'd have to walk on all fours, she would be 7'2", she would
weight 101 lbs, her shoe size would be a 5, she'd wear an FF
cup bra, and her dress size would be a 4. Wish you were her, huh?
--
Hah, supposedly true.
http://www.peacelovelunges.com/2008/03/07/what-if-barbie-were-a-real-woman/

👍 this is good · read the comments · 148 points

rosiiex17
posted a quote
August 7, 2009 12:08pm UTC

& i hate it when the dentist asks
you "hows ur summer going"
like i cant talk to you when i have all this junk in my mouth?

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LaX_loVe
posted a quote
August 24, 2009 4:50pm UTC

x _ _ am i the only one __ x
who already picked out
n a m e s f o r m y k i d s

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xemthestrangex
posted a quote
August 26, 2009 8:58pm UTC

I'm not Bella Swan.
Because IF You TrY To
stalk me
control me
dominate me
threaten me
watch me sleeping
be ridiculously posessive
try to control who I hang out with
I won'T THInK IT's romanTIc.
And I'll Punch You in the face.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 267 points

LaX_loVe
posted a quote
August 26, 2009 6:28pm UTC

when school gets borring
if you have a teacher with hearing aids get the
whole class to start mouthing words so that
your teacher thinks there is something wrong
with his hearing aids. then when he turns them
up everyone start screaming and keep going
from screaming to mouthing words it will get the
teacher really confused and it'll waist class time
:)
possible series??

👍 this is good · read the comments · 301 points

xonadiaxo
posted a quote
August 11, 2009 7:20pm UTC

Today,
I yelled "AVADA KEDAVRA!"
from the second story of a mall, pointing
at the people on the floor below. To my
intense satisfaction, some guy
pretended to die dramatically
and dropped to the floor.
MLIA

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xSoundtrackofMySummerx
posted a quote
August 6, 2009 1:49pm UTC

Zoey 101 (:
Michael: There's a bug in my tent!
Chase: Well, kill it!
Michael: No! What if it has a family?!
Chase: It's a BUG.
Michael: Bugs have families!
Chase: Well maybe it's a really mean bug that none of the other bugs like and by killing it, you'll be a hero to them all.

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HollisterLove
posted a quote
August 18, 2009 9:58pm UTC

Today, inspired by MLIA, I called a fast food restaurant and asked,
"is this the Krusty Krab?" The guy on the other end said,
"No, this is Patrick." Easily the highlight of my summer.
[MLIA]

👍 this is good · read the comments · 349 points

just_smile_95
posted a quote
August 24, 2009 4:08pm UTC

click to see this quote

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emt825
posted a quote
August 3, 2009 7:29pm UTC

8 websites you should visit:
1. Whorepresents
A site called Who Represents where you can find the name of the agent that represents a celebrity. Their domain name wait for it is www.whorepresents.com.
2. Expertsexchange
Experts Exchange, a knowledge base where programmers can exchange advice and views at www.expertsexchange.com.
3. Penisland
Looking for a pen? Look no further than Pen Island at www.penisland.net.
4. Therapistfinder
Need a therapist? Try Therapist Finder at www.therapistfinder.com.
5. Powergenitalia
Then of course, theres the Italian Power Generator company www.powergenitalia.com.
6. Molestationnursery
And now, we have the Mole Station Native Nursery, based in New South Wales: www.molestationnursery.com.
7. Speedofart
Then, of course, theres these brainless art designers, and their whacky website: www.speedofart.com.
8. Gotahoe
Want to holiday in Lake Tahoe? Try their brochure website at www.gotahoe.com.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 369 points

MyEye6
posted a quote
August 14, 2009 12:01am UTC

Edward Cullen is proof that
SHINY THINGS
attract idiots

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xoxomaddyfosho349
posted a quote
August 23, 2009 5:24pm UTC

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
b e c a u s e i t w a s d e a d !
Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree?
b e c a u s e i t w a s s t a p l e d t o t h e f i r s t m o n k e y !
Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree?
P E E R P R E S S U R E .

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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xthatsnotmynamex
posted a quote
August 16, 2009 8:21pm UTC

today,
I was hanging out at my brother's apartment and while he was showering,
I put my iPod on shuffle and began dancing in the living room.
The Dora the Explorer theme song came on and I began to sing along.
Suddenly, a door opened and his room mate ran out singing along to the song at
the top of his lungs, not realizing that I was there. We exchanged an awkward glance,
then broke out into dance. I think I found my furure husband.
MLIA.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 616 points

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