Izzyme's Favorites

writtenrain*
posted a quote
June 24, 2013 9:39am UTC

Please tell me that I'm not the only one
who thinks that if Peter Pan were real, he would be pretty good looking

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 17 points

MyWittyProfile
posted a quote
June 23, 2013 5:28pm UTC

IN ENGLISH WE HAD TO WRITE ABOUT A GREAT EXPERIENCE WE HAD IN OUR LIFE SO I WROTE ABOUT HOW I GOT ACCEPTED TO HOGWARTS AND CONTINUED ON FOR LIKE 10 PARAGRAPHS AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD.
BUT
GUESS WHO ENDED UP GETTING A LETTER SENT HOME.
M
E

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Aidan
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 6:37am UTC

Author: Let's write a book.
Author: I have to add a meannbitch to spice things up.
Author: Everybody hate her now.
Author: How about showing her nice and lovable side?
Author : She's now the most loved character in the book..
Author: ...
Aurhor: ....
Author: Let's kill her.

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captainsassy
posted a quote
June 14, 2013 4:36pm UTC

Saying ''my friend'' is way easier than saying ''this person on Witty Profiles..''
so you're all my friends whether you like it or not okay

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*Elena;~ ♥*
posted a quote
March 15, 2013 4:56pm UTC

I'm still waiting for the day that I will use
x² + y +8 [(x + 2y ² = a-z] + 2x ³ + (- 2z = 2. 4) + 10y - 5Z ³= k= 9
In real life.

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 180 points

ChocoTaco
posted a quote
March 15, 2013 5:43pm UTC

Me when my friends are sad: *Insert 9 page text here of advice and telling them how perfect they are.*
Them when I'm sad: Oh I'm sorry.

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quotestealer
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 1:18pm UTC

boy: did it hurt?
girl: (sigh) did what hurt?
boy: when you broke earth's crust ascending from hell.

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ubwbuifw7*
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 2:08pm UTC

A real
bestfriend
makes your
family
question your
sexuality

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Hogwartian
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 4:46pm UTC

lllll Harry Potter lllll
In the movie Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix,
they muted Harry's scream after Sirius dies
because it was too agonizing.
#feels

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kristabff
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 7:31pm UTC

'unfollowers'
Spelled backwards is srewollofnu. Which sounds like "screw all of you".
Coincidence? I think not.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 2, 2013 10:48am UTC

Joan Rivers: I met Adele, was she on the show?
David Letterman: Oh, yeah! Lovely lady!
Joan Rivers: What is her song, Rolling in the Deep?
Joan Rivers: She should add fried chicken
Joan Rivers: She kept saying, "My throat, my throat, I don't know if I can swallow
Joan Rivers: And I said "Oh, yeah. You can swallow."
...
Adam Hills: If you make fat jokes about Adele, you're being a d//ck
Adam Hills: And I'm referring to you, Joan Rivers
Adam Hills: F//ck you!
Adam Hills: How dare you make fun of of one of the best female role models on the planet for the way she looks!
Adam Hills: When you're so insecure about your own face!
Adam Hills: You've spent more money on it than the producers of Life of Pi spent on that tiger

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bye*
posted a quote
February 28, 2013 7:08pm UTC

do you ever wish you could just unmeet someone

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guyscanbebrokentoo
posted a quote
March 1, 2013 6:48pm UTC

You should never go back to your ex,
it's like reading a book over and over again
and expecting a different ending

👍 this is good · read the comments · 50 points

MyDearRomeo
posted a quote
March 1, 2013 8:41pm UTC

If you don't like Sleeping With Sirens, it's fine we can still be friends.
Only not really.

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SummerFlower
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 4:47pm UTC

I'm sorry you can't wear pencil skirts in softball
#wh_re

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points

Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 5:08pm UTC

So, you mean to tell me that guys can get tons of condoms for free,
but I'm still paying, like, $10 for tampons and pads every month, even though I did not sign the terms and conditions for this "menstruation" crap for the next 30 or 40 years? Guys don't have to have s.ex, you know, but lets make sure that they have everything they need because I definitely love using the last of my money on stuff that makes sure that I don't bleed rivers all over the place and ruin all my clothes.

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sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
February 24, 2013 10:32am UTC

if i introduce a movie to you and
we watch it together
i'll be spending at least 99.9% of the time watching you to make sure you are responding
correctly to the film.

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sarahmarlowXxx
posted a quote
February 23, 2013 10:59am UTC

BravoSierra's format
That terrifying moment
When everything is happily resolved but the book still has 200 pages left

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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jimmy365
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 9:20pm UTC

there's one part of
me that's like:
"You should do your"
work, and then you wouldn’t be
so stressed, and you would
feel a great sense of
accomplishment,
and you’d have free time
when you’re finished.
but there's another
part of me that's like:
"No."
They both make
such good arguments.
format jimmy365

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 331 points