Getting_Better

Status: You don't get a second chance, life is no nintendo game.

Member Since: 2 Feb 2013 09:52pm

Last Seen: 19 Jan 2014 04:09pm

Birthday: February 19

Location: Massachusetts

Gender: F

user id: 348866

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Remember you're beautiful, but not everyone is going to be able to see that love.

Me rocking Trevor's Football Shirtt. Ayeeeeee.^^ & Abby! Trevor & I's future kid/puppy (

Getting_Better
posted a quote
March 15, 2013 9:43pm UTC

Getting Better
3-15-13
Haiiii, haven't written in awhile! Well, there's a lot to cover.
We were good, very good, and then a few nights ago, we started talking and I asked him if he could make the picture we took together his profile picture, which awhile ago he said he would, and he wouldn't do it, so I was like what, and then I don't remember how, but we got onto the subject of being "too close" and stuff... We agreed we both have periods when we go "are we dating....?" "omg i love him/her" "ehh we're too close" we didn't argue, just talked about it. Then I had to go to bed, and we decided we would act like nothing happened at school, but we would talk after school.
And we did.
I asked him what we could change, so we wouldn't be too close, and not be in a "relationship/not relationship" as he called it.
He said the two things I was hoping he wouldn't. I would've given up anything but those two things, and it may be stupid to you, they're little things, but I got so used to them, and comfortable with them, and they mean a lot to me.
-Hugging at dismissal
-Saying "I love you" before bed.
I am the kind of person that once I get locked into a schedule, or certain things, activities, I have to follow them, I have to keep doing them, keep the same rhythm, or I get lost, so I had to deal with that, and he is the only person I hug, or touch, and I love his hugs, and I love saying I love you, so all of a sudden just.... to stop... wrecked me...
I didn't tell him though, I just told him that we should do whatever he felt was right, and that I would follow through with anything he thought would benefit us....
I didn't tell him it hurt.
I didn't sleep for two days- I don't sleep when I'm upset, and I turn quiet, I just told everyone I was tired. I cried a lot. All night, morning before school, after school, then again this morning. It was basically killing me, seeing people hug... and him talking to me, then having to go to bed, and awkwardly just saying "Alright... see you tomorrow..." instead of "Alright, love you!" I thought maybe it could benefit us later-- but it hurts so much.
Today, I decided that I was gonna tell him how I feel... hurt about the whole thing.
But at his bus stop, I said "You're probably gonna hate me for saying this- but I didn't really think that Wednesday would be our last hug" and he said "want one more?" and I said "yeah.." and we hugged....and it hurt..
He texted me after school, and I told him that I was having a difficult time with this, and that I just wanted to do what he wanted, that I was sorry I was acting different (I wasn't talking in school at all, if I did talk it was very quiet) I told him that, it wasn't easy for me to let this go... he said he was worried about getting two connected, and I said I know, but we could've let go of other things too....eventually, he said that we would say I love you- but only at bed, act totally normal in person, chill with the friendship, and hug at dismissal. Everything has been totally difficult, but we worked this out without one fight! That was big for us though, I must admit!! Anyways, the past few days have been really hard for me....
Hopefully this was all a part of
Getting Better
Advice?

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
March 8, 2013 1:58pm UTC

Getting Better
3-8-13
Well, we have been good, since Monday, no fights or arguments or mean things. We have been getting along,.
Also, that jamboree I went to, with him, to watch him play last Friday, we took a picture together while he was waiting to play. He put it up on instagram last night, as well as facebook. The caption says;
"This is my best friend, Lily, we have been friends for a year now, and I couldn't ask for anyone better. We met in Pre school, but I had no idea that 7 years later this random girl would become my best friend. She has always been a great friend to me, she's very special to me, and I'm very thankful to have her in my life. She's the best and I love her:)"
Yeah, I wanted him to put it up from day one because everyone thinks that he doesn't care about me and that our feelings only go one way and that he doesn't want to be friends with me, and that proved them all wrong. It shows them he does care. and he does love me, despite what they all think. It was really nice, and I'm really happy. I look horrible in the picture though, he says I don't, but trust me, I do, even so, it's my profile pic on my profile here on witty, check it out.
Everything seems to be going fine, despite the fact that I've been getting teased, and stuff, There are UNTRUE rumors going around that I have been giving Trevor Blowj*bs, and stuff........
They are totally untrue, and the rumors are really bad for my reputation, I am on the student council, straight A goody-two-shoes honors student, I am a mentor to the younger students, and everyone thinks I'm really nice and sweet, those rumors could ruin me. I talked to Trevor about it, and those rumors can ruin him just as much as they can ruin me. Why do people have to spread untrue things about people?? I don't know what to do.
But back to our friendship, and the true stuff, Trevor and I are getting along very well, I'm going to my grandfathers wake tonight at 4 and I will be out until like 11, and he's gonna try to wait up for me. I don't know, we'll see how it goes,
It's been over a month and a half, I think we're
Getting Better
((:

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
March 4, 2013 6:56pm UTC

Getting Better
2-4-13
I talked to Trevor, during first period, explained everything. Saturday he was just busy, and then Sunday, he had church all morning and basketball until 9pm, which is when he usually goes to bed. So we got through that. I had gym today, and he had health. While he was waiting to go into his health class I was there with him, and he pinky promised me he would wait for me after he got out of class. So after gym, I walk out of the girls locker room and down the hallway, and I see a boy, in a green celtics shirt, waiting for me, I was surprised, even though he promised me he'd wait, it was another thing to actually see it. So we walked to third period together.
But anyways, in first period, which is Italian, the teacher had us interacting and telling Italian stories. I was talking while she was teaching, so she decided to use me in an example story. In Italian (which I'm not gonna put) she said "Lily, a tall girl, kissed..." everyone is class shouted "Trevor!" so my teacher said "Lily, a tall girl, kissed Trevor...on the forehead...he yelled 'no!' haha, just kidding, Lily kissed Trevor on the nose and he laughed and smiled" At first I was laughing, but I was embarassed and felt like I was gonna cry, my face was red from laughing and being embarassed so a kid in my class went "SHE'S BLUSHING" which made it more worse. I was a little mad. But everything was fine after.
Then, afterschool we had student council together. We waited to go into a teacher's room, and we talked and we agreed that he would delete the messages and not read them, because I didn't think we needed it right now. Everything was fine, we were laughing and having the greatest time. Haha, we sat together, and he had his coat on, which was a wind-breaker sorta thing, and we were listening to the teacher do attendance, and everytime she called a name he turned around and made the loudest sound ever, I kept hitting him and whisper-yelling "Stop! knock it off!" trying not to die of laughter.
Then we had to work on Public Service Announcements together for our school's upcoming book drive. I was typing on the teachher's computer and he was being goofy and not serious and acting so dumb. He kept offering ideas, stupid ones, and I tried not to laugh and kept telling him to shutup. and then I hit him, and we got off track a couple times, but we finished our work. It was so annoying, but so much fun at the same time, he's weird. xD
Walking back to go get our stuff from another room I pushed him into a doorway by accident, I just wanted to shove him a little, for annoying me, but it was funny as hell. Then he almost fell down the stairs. and over the railing, he was like "What would you do if I fell down the whole flight of stairs?" I said; "I'd laugh because it would be funny as hell" then he fake almost fell, and I told him to stop. Haha, we got our stuff, and he had to wait for his brother to get out of afterschool sports, so he hugged me and I left.
Then I get home, and we start texting, within 10 minutes of me being home, my mom gets a call..
She hangs up the phone and starts crying.
My grandfather passed away.
I told Trevor, and he was there for me, and he helped me, and he made me feel better,
and it made me feel like s/hhit. How he treats me amazing, just after I treated him so horribly. well, it's been a month and like 12 days, and
I think we are getting better.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
March 3, 2013 5:10pm UTC

Getting Better
3-3-13
It just seems like we have had a rough week. I am so worried we are going to totally reverse all the good things we have done, and go back to our old ways. Monday, Tuesday, & Wednesday were fine.
Thursday, after 2nd period, is when things started going downhill.
He has health second period, I had gym. He had to sign up for high school classes, and his health teacher is a gym teacher, so he was in the gym with my class, and his class that wasn't signing up. Trevor and some other people got finished early, and they were instructed to come back into the gym afterwards, because their teacher wasn't gonna leave for some reason. So, the popular guys, and the popular pretty girls are in his health class. and they go sit down on the other side of the bleachers. I see Trevor walk by where I'm sitting. I call his name,and he looks at me, and I'm like "Come here!" But he didn't listen and went and sat with the popular people. I was p/ssed. Yeah.
After gym, he waited in the hallway to walk with me, when I saw him, I was still mad and said "What, not gonna walk with your popular friends?"
"what?"
"Go walk with your popular friends."
"wha-"
Then he started talking to one of his guy friends, and continued walking near me. He didn't seem bothered by anything so I got increasingly mad.
"Why didn't you sit with me?"
"what?"
"Why didn't you sit with me? You sat with the popular people. Are you ashamed?"
"what?"
"you could've sat with me"
By this time, I'm yelling at him in the middle of the hallway. Like, yelling loud. I'm p/ssed. He's getting mad, I go up the stairs and he walks away. I cried during third period. I have never ever yelled at him before.
We made up at lunch though, and everything was fine until Friday night.
Friday night, I went to this jamboree, he was playing in it, but there were 2 hour breaks in between his team's games, so he sat with me on the bleachers and we took a picture together and talked and yeah. It was fine. When it was time for me to go home, he said he loved me and hugged me. Then he texted me when he got home, and we were trying to come up with a caption to write for the picture, which was going to go up on HIS facebook, to show that I don't give more and care more and to show he does care about me even a little. He didn't know what to write and I got aggravated. Then his Ipod died, and I talked to him yesterday morning. We finally figured out part of the caption, which he was making 10x harder than it had to be, when I started getting slow responses. He had to go. So I said "Bye."
"Bye:/ I love you"
"Bye."
An hour or so later I asked him if he was done cleaning, which is why he had to go, no answer. Every like half hour I'm like "Dude are you home?" "You home" "I'm gonna blow up your notifications" "Trevor!" etc . No answer. But he was online, on facebook. I was like, okay maybe he'll answer me in a few minutes. 40 minutes later, nope. So I texted him, so mad, like "Way to go on facebook and not answer me a/shole I hate you" and stuff. No answer. I feel like maybe he is putting off putting the picture up, because he is ashamed.
Then today, I found out my grandfather is dying, and probably won't make it to tomorrow, so I text Trevor
"Come on, answer please, I need you."
No answer. This was early this morning. Now it's evening, and he wasn't there for me, and he's not there for me. and I'm so p/ssed and upset.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 27, 2013 8:03pm UTC

Getting Better
2-27-13
I always, ALWAYS, end up feeling like I'm standing next to a stranger.
Like I don't know Trevor at all.
Just when I think I know him, something happens, to make me wonder;
"Who exactly is this person??"
Just today, I found out my cute, quiet, shy little best friend, is not cute, quiet, or shy. Apparently, he doesn't shut up at lunch with his friends, and is funny, and is just like this obnoxious guy in our grade. After a year and a half, I never saw that side of him.
Why.
Why.
How.
How have I never seen this side?
Why did I never see this side?
It doesn't make sense to me,
Why did I have to find out from someone else that my best friend is like that?
So here I am again, left feeling like I have no idea who my own best friend is.
Also, we were at the high school we both will be attending next year, and we were sitting alone together in the auditorium, before the welcoming presentation begun, and he didn't shut up. and he seemed comfortable, which is good, but he acted like a totally different person, there again, I was left wondering, who is the person that is sitting next to me, and who's the person I thought I've known for a year and 6 months?
I have no clue.
What should I do?

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 6:53pm UTC

Getting Better
2-26-13
He bought me a silver Alex and Ani bracelet.
They're expensive, and he bought me one.
A Silver "L" for my name, Lily.
It was adorable, how he gave it to me. At dismissal, I stand with him, where he is supposed to wait for his bus to come. It was freezing. I kept saying "I'm so cold!!" and he had one hand in his jacket, which I thought was weird, why not both hands? But I didn't say anything. We awkwardly stood there for a few minutes, not saying anything... Then I was finally like, "Oh, your bus is coming."
And he started smiling this stupid smile, and was like "You know how I said, I needed to tell you something yesterday, but I wouldn't tell you...?" & I was like "Yeah..." He said "Well, I don't need to tell you something, I have to give you something...." and he pulled this gold wrapped little square box, with a bow on it.
He gave it to me, and I didn't say anything, I just smiled, and he said;
"Happy Birthday!"
Then we hugged. and he got on his bus.
I went back to stand with my friends, holding the unopened wrapped box, and said,
"Should I open it???"
My other best friend, Cali, said "Yesssss!"
So I unwrapped it, and I Opened the lid on the box, to see my Alex and Ani bracelet.
My jaw dropped. First thing I thought;
"No wonder he wouldn't tell me his neighbor's name!"
Sunday, he was texting me off his mom's phone and was like'
"My neighbor got an L alex and ani bracelet and I thought it was pretty cool! Have you seen it,? It's pretty nice! What bracelets do you have"
Everytime I asked him what his neighbor's name was, he avoided the question, and then he had to go
-_-
It was a lot of money, I felt bad that he spent that much on me, he really didn't have to.
It was so sweet though, I love that bracelet.
He's very good to me.....(:
We're gonna sign up for the same high school classes, we are gonna be partners on a project, we are interacting very well, he comes up and talks to me first, the little things I appreciate. In the morning he walked away from his friends and came over to me with a smile on his face and said "Heyyy!" that was really sweet. But then he dropped my phone-_- haha:)
It's been a month and six days,
I think we are,
Getting Better.(:

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 22, 2013 1:24pm UTC

He calls me baby now..

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 21, 2013 5:41pm UTC

Getting Better
2-21-13
Everything is going well. Yesterday, was the whole "We've been good for one month" thing. I didn't get a chance to talk to him yesterday because he was busy with basketball, chores, and going to Chicopee. I waited up for him to get home last night, but fell asleep.. I woke up this morning to a text
"Hey. You awake yet boo?"
He has another game in Chicopee saturday, chicopee is a few hours away so he won't be home until late. Like midnight. I'm waiting up for him. He said he'll tell me when exactly he has to leave and he'll be back before 1 am. So... yeaah. I waited for him the past 2 times he has been out of town but always fell asleep at least a half an hour before he got home-_-
This time I have to stay up.
He wants to come over Saturday morning, wants to hang out. I had to ask my mom and we're going to set something up. I haven't seen him in a week, and I miss him.
He bought me something for my birthday. But he won't tell me what -_- he's going to give it to me next time he sees me, I really hope it wasn't much money..../:
One more thing, he calls me bbg, baby girl now.
The other names were fine, this one seems a little creepier....
-_-
line=crossed
But anyways, it's been a month and a day,
I think we're
Getting Better

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 19, 2013 8:22pm UTC

Getting Better
2-19-13
Also, forgot to mention. Trevor & I have been talking all day. We were bored, so we started talking about our future.
We are going to graduate college, and move to California, & live together.
We're gonna get settled into our jobs, I'm going to be in charge of cleaning the house and I told him I would cook for him & he said he'd pay the bills and buy me a bracelet/necklace/ring or two(;
Then after we are settled, we are going to get a little puppy, a beagle, named Abby, and she's gonna be like our kid.
I've always wanted a puppy.(:
We are gonna go to Rome & Venice for vacation,
and we are going to have the perfect life.
I hate thunderstorms that roll through at night, and he knows that, so he'll let me sleep with him.
I told him if he made me mad he would be sleeping in the back yard ((:
Then, later on, when each of us gets married and has kids, he's going to name his daughter Grace Ann (Grace is my middle name, Ann is his mother's) & I'm naming my son, Trevor Louis (His first name, and his dad's middle) That way we are forced to remember each other(;
Everything is really good.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 19, 2013 8:11pm UTC

Getting Better
2-19-13
First, I would like to say, when I logged in and saw a bunch of people commented on my profile, for my birthday, saying happy birthday, was a pleasant surprise and made me smile, thank you.(:
Okay, now, here's my update.
About the whole him calling me fat thing, he felt extremely bad, I know he did, so I decided not to hold a grudge, and I let it go. However, I told him if he called me fat again we would have a problem. He's been amazing lately, and I don't want to ruin it. So, you know that girl? Turns out she gets around..if you know what I mean. *cough cough s///lut cough cough* so he refuses to talk to her. Whatever.
We were talking about it, and I was not mad, not showing any frustration, I told him he went for sl...uts. He got very mad at me, and wrote this very long messgae....But as he was finishing writing it, he stopped being mad and didn't want to fight, or make me upset, or blow what we have. So he didn't want to send it. Eventually, I said "Send it, I've heard you say horrible things before. I won't get mad at you, or fight." He said okay and sent the message. I'll post a seperate quote, quoting word for word what he said.
It really hurt, not the things he called me, but how he told me I had hurt him. That really hurt me. Anyways, we talked it out, and we were okay.
This morning, I woke up to an amazing message from him, so sweet, it made my day, and his whole family said Happy Birthday to me first thing this morning, really sweet.
He even bought me a present. It's jewelry. But he won't tell me what kind. He'll give it to me when we get back to school. I'm very happy at the moment.(:
Tomorrow, it'll be a full month that we've been good.(:
Things are;
Getting Better.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 12, 2013 7:11pm UTC

So, He called me fat.
2-12-13
Before I explain the situation, and how he called me fat..
There's more stories.
Trevor & I had this wonderful conversation Saturday night, and we had a great time, then Sunday is when I found out about the other girl. She's gorgeous. How the hell do I compete with.. that? I'm not even going to try. I guess whatever happens, happens? Just let it be, right? I really don't want to start a fight with Trevor, that's what will happen, and hey, I like another guy too, but I haven't told him. So, it's not fair to get mad at him. Right? Well, strange things have been happening.
He calls me "Love" now. like,
"Hey Love!"
"Yes, love."
"Well, my love.."
He let me wear his sweatshirt yesterday, it was actually cute how he gavee it to me. I wanted one of his sweatshirts awhile ago, and he said no matter what he would bring it this coming monday. So monday comes along, and he's wearing a sweatshirt, but it didn't look like he had another one with him. So I go;
"You forgot."
& He goes;
"Does this red sweatshirt go with these blue shoes?!"
I go, "No..."
He goes; "It's yours"
Then gave it to me in front of a lot of people, the thing was huge on me, but whatever. I gave it back today.
NOW BACK TO THE FAT THING.
In Italian class today, I sit behind my friend Jake, and Trevor sits up one seat next row to my left. Our friend Jason was fooling around and sat on Trevor's lap. So, me, joking around asked Jake if I could sit on his lap, & Trevor goes,
"No you can't, you're too fat"
......
I'm 5'8" & I weigh 111lbs, is that fat...?
He always jokes about my weight, I told him nicely to stop awhile ago, and today he called me fat again. It bothered me. So, I just didn't say anything for the rest of class. He tried talking to me, he offered me his shirt, and he told me everything he knew about me,
But he did not once apologize for calling me fat, and that's what bugs me.
I told him; "What if I went home and just starved myself?"
& he didn't say anything.,He never apologized.
He bought me a stuffed turtle, too, and I'm getting it tomorrow, and it's a really sweet gesture, but, he never apologized.
Besides the whole I'm fat thing, I love the stuff he's doing, but I just think it's playing with my emotions. He calls me love, babe, boo, Lilyboo, and he gives me his clothes, and he buys me stuff, and he tells me he loves me, and he hugs me every day, it's just all misleading, we aren't even dating.
Adviceeeeeeeeeeee......?
Comment..

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 10, 2013 3:51pm UTC

What if?
What if I really do like him?
What if I actually am in love with my best
friend...?
Over & Over, I deny it, and I never think about it...what's so different about now? I don't know. I've always been the only girl he talked to, all day, every day, the only girl really....
Now, there's this pretty girl, and...they talk now, and... I don't know. I guess I got a little upset...
Does that mean I like him? I really don't want to admit it to myself. I've always told myself I would not be a statistic, or the same as everyone else, I wouldn't fall in love with my best friend. But, we plan on moving in together, and I could see myself, someday, married to him. I don't know. Everyone already thinks we're gonna get married. Awhile ago, during the summer, I felt this way, and told him I liked him, and he told me he didn't feel the same way. But how could someone say all these things to me, and not have one ounce of more than friendly feelings for that person? I have guy friends, whom I have no feelings for, and I wouldn't even think of saying half the things Trevor says to me, to them.
I just really don't understand. & I really don't want to like him. It's dangerous. I don't want this. I never wanted this.
HELP.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 10, 2013 12:03pm UTC

Getting Better
2-10-13
Everything is actually really good right now. Last night, we were talking, and we played this "game" where we guess things about each other.We had the greatest time ever, I'm still smiling. He knew everything about me, and I knew everything about him.We even fit in some jokes. Before that though, he reassured me, he won't leave me just because I think I ask for too much, he said "I still love you" "I won't leave you just like that" & I believe that he won't. He's so good to me. I haven't had one of those "moods" for that long. Yesterday I had one, for like an hour, but I just pushed through it and was nice to him. I feel better now. I'm really happy. I really believe he loves me (as of now) and that he won't leave and he cares about me. It feels good ♥ Just one thing.... He doesn't know I like that other guy, Austin. I feel guilty for keeping it from him but things sometimes get awkward if we talk about guys I am/was interested in.& Everything is good right now, I don't want to mess it up. I will tell him. Just not know. Taking it day by day.
So far, we've been good for 19 days
I think we're
Getting Better.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 8, 2013 9:36pm UTC

Getting Better
2-8-13
Well, it's been 18 days now.. 18 days since our last fight, trying to go out of our way to do nice things for each other, trying to correct our mistakes, and it seemed to be working. seemed. We aren't fighting, and we aren't mad at each other, But..
We almost fought. Again.
We were just talking, and he was being stupid, he was joking, but it was annoying me, so I told him to stop, nicely I might add, and he didn't.
& Last night we were talking and he was supposed to bring me a sweatshirt today. He didn't want to bring it today, he wanted to bring it Monday. I asked him to bring it today, because he's naturally forgetful and figured that if he brought it today he wouldn't have to worry about forgetting it over the weekend. He agreed, and said he'd bring it.
He forgot.
I wasn't mad at him, I know it would be stupid to be mad over that. But in the morning today he wouldn't tell me if he brought it or not, which lead me to believe that he brought it and he was going to surprise me by not forgetting it. He never brought it. He wouldn't tell me though. But, later I texted him, annoyed, and said
"Why wouldn't you just tell me you didn't bring it,? I told you I wouldn't be mad"
"I was embarassed that I didn't bring it"
I don't understand how it would embarass him, I over and over said "if you didnt bring it telll me I will not be mad!"
But, anyways, back to today, we were talking and I got so frustrated with him, that he wouldn't stop being stupid, and everything that lead up to this point, I told him he made me mad, and he said he didnt understand how, I just told him it was about everything. But then I said, "I don't want to fight. I'm so mad at you. Talk me down."
& He did, and it helped. I just...I don't want to ruin anything by fighting, but just talking it out I found is much better. We are totally fine now, I'm just glad we can actually talk things out like adults.
I think one of our problems is we don't give each other any space,
we need to change that.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 4, 2013 7:13pm UTC

Getting Better
2-4-13
Well, we've been good for 2 weeks exactly now!!(:
Really though, usually we fight every week. I really do think that maybe a few of you guys are right, maybe we're too close and talk too much and are together so much that's why we argue all the time, I think that if I ever start disliking him again, I will just give it space and nottttt start a fight, I really hate fighting with him, but at the same time, I sorta liked it, only when the fights didn't get so bad.. That makes me feel sick, but... yeah..
I was at school with him today, and well... Everything was fine, I guess. We talked like usual and walked together, I almost pushed him down the stairs by accident. My bad(;
Then at the end of the day, we were at his bus stop, and he hugged me like usual. We texted after he got home, and we had a great conversation. So far, we've been really good. And as of right now, I'm really happy.
All day, I've been thinking about my favorite memory of us, I don't know why. But I think I should write about ittt.(:
It was after one of our school dances. He's never been one to show emotions in person, besides hugging me everyday...Earlier that night, we were sitting in the cafeteria, alone, and I asked him why he could say all these nice things to me in text, but whenever I told him I loved him in person, he would say "Yup" or "I know" .
He said that one day, he'd say it to me. I said "Yeah. sure." Not believing him.
He held out his pinky, and said "Pinky Promise" with a stupid smile.
We pinky promised. Then, an hour later, the dance was over. Trevor & I walked out together, I remember, it was cold, and it was raining. We were standing together and I was like "Trevor, I really need to go." and he said "really? do you havveeee to?" and I said "Yes, my dad is parked right there." "Okay" he said.
Even though we were all sweaty from dancing and being in the warm gym, he put his arms around me and gave me a good hug, I put my head on his shoulder and we stayed there for a few minutes. We let go at the same time, and I stood still. He smiled, then turned and walked away. I stood there, watching him slowly walk away,
Then he stopped.
He turned around, smiled, looked right at me, smiling the biggest smile ever, yelled back,
"I Love You!"
I smiled so big. I ran after him and hugged him again. It was really, a movie moment, it was like something that would happen in a sappy love story movie, and it was a very amazing moment. Later on that night, we were texting, and he told me, when he saw my face light up like how it did, he really intensely loved me at that moment, he said. Then, he told me I was the first person he's ever said that to in person besides his family.
"I'm glad my first time was with you."
To this day, that has been my favorite memory, still makes me smile,
I love him so much.
I'm glad we're
Getting Better

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 3, 2013 6:11pm UTC

Getting Better
2-3-13
Haven't really talked to him since Friday, he's been busy with His brother's birthday and homework and the Super Bowl. Mayyjorr sports fan. I'm excited to see him tomorrow though, I'll see him after 1st period, and I'll see him at the end of the day & he'll hug me. The usual
Today I decided I'm going to start writing in a notebook everything about our friendship, what I feel, things I never got to say, and I'll give it to him towards the end of the school year. I have to fill up 70 pages. 14 down. Uhhhggg..
We may encounter a problem...I like this guy. & well. I think he maybe could like me back. I want to be his girlfriend so badly... There's only one thing holding me back. Trevor. What if we fall apart? What is he thinks I forgot about him? I won't be around him much anymore because I'll be spending much time with the guy I like. I don't know, I'm over thinking everything.
What if Trevor gets mad at me...? We are almost like we're dating, but we're not. He doesn't talk to other girls, and expects me not to talk to other guys. We don't go around saying everything we say to each other to other people. I don't know. I just don't want to rock the boat. Help?
Right now we're good, so I'm not going to bring anything up to him yet.
It's been 13 days.
& I think we're
Getting Better.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 10:04pm UTC

Getting Better
2-2-13
Well, we've been good for 12 days. It may not seem like a lot but it's a big milestone for us. I'm trying to do all these nice things for him to make him happy and he's trying to do little things to make me happy too, and it's cute... but will we always have to make this much effort? what if we just get tired and go back to our old ways?
One of the things that he's doing to try to show me that he cares is remembering things. He's very forgetful, with everything. His whole Dad's side of the family is naturally forgetful and so is his brother, it used to be very frustrating. A few months ago, he couldn't remember what my favorite color was or even my birthday. Now he knows everything. And he remembers stuff and tells me about stuff that happened months ago that I thought he forgot, and it makes me happy to know he remembers. He also let me wear one of his shirts I've been dying to since like November, he remembered to bring it and he gave it to me. That was really a big deal for me.
Every so often, I have these, anywhere from a few hours to a few days, moments where I think he doesn't care and that i'm replaceable or that he doesn't love me and just... I get really down. Usually this is when we start fighting because of me and my feelings. Something about weekends, is when it starts acting up. Last weekend, I started feeling this way, and didn't tell him about it, and instead of being mean, I was extra nice to him and pushed through it, it got better when I saw him monday.
Thursday night we were talking, and I was just in a bad mood period. So, when he left and stopped answering I guess you could say I got frustrated. He apologized and did not continue anything, I was mad, but we both avoided a fight by me just saying I was going to go to bed. Everything was fine the next morning, we didn't fight.
It's the weekend now, and I'm not feeling like I'm worthless to him. I think I'm starting to get better and believe that he does care about me and that he loves me and wouldn't try to replace me. I hope I stay this happy for awhile.
It's the weekend, I am not feeling bad,
We've been good for 12 days now,
I think we're
Getting Better.

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Getting_Better
posted a quote
February 2, 2013 10:02pm UTC

Getting Better.
Introduction.
Hey. I'm Lily, I'm 13 years old going on 14 on February 19th. Pretty stoked.
Anways, I'm going to start writing a diary/story called, "Getting Better" about my life and my problems with my best friend whom I refuse to give up on. It's complicated, and you may not understand, but bare with me.. I have no one to vent to, so mine as well vent here. Please, if you have some advice, feel free to comment anytime, either here or on my profile, advice is in a lot of need here, but please, keep RUDE comments to yourself. Here I go.
----------
"I don't think they'd understand."
September 10th, 2011
There. I sent the message. The message to a boy who I want to know, and talk to, and be friends with, but haven't talked to since pre-school. Great start, right? He answered, and we exchanged numbers.
September 11th, 2011
He texted me first thing when he woke up, started telling each other things about ourselves, then he had to leave for a football game.
September 12th, 2011
Monday, ew. school. after latin, 3rd period, asked him to walk with me to lunch. He did. when another boy told him to get away from me, that I was gross, he stayed.
--------
There you have it, the first 3 days with my now best friend. If only I'd known..
Trevor Pelkey, shy, smart, nice, amazing.
That's my best friend. And I'm going to catch you all up, before I continue. So, we talked for awhile, maybe only two weeks before I asked him out, in person, and he said no, it wasn't terribly bad, and we remained friends afterwards. We talked everyday, everything was innocent and amazing and perfect. November came, and by then, we were the best of friends, but everyone wanted us to date.
Nothing really out of the ordinary happened at all during this period of time, we were normal best friends, with an argument every now and then, he always let me win.
---
March 25th, 2012
He told me he was confused about his feelings for me, we talked it over, told him I wanted to stay just friends until we were older so we could possible last to marriage, everything went back to normal.
May 3rd 2012,
I started dating my ex boyfriend, Josh Carriere.
Broke up 3 days before our one month.
After that, everything changed.
----------
Over this time, I met Trevor's mother, father, and little brother, me & Trevor were at the height of our friendship, picture perfect. Then.. we started seeing what lines we could cross and boundaries we could over step. We started saying things, friends don't really say to eachother, nothing extreme, but "I love you" "you're the best boy I've ever met/ girl I've ever met" & Long sweet messages. But everything was completely fine...still having those little fights.
-----------------
Summer 2012
This is when we really started experimenting with things. we would send long sappy heartfelt messages to eachother. We would also say I love you every night before we went to bed.. This is when we starting running into problems, & NO WE WEREN'T DATING.
This is when I stopped trusting him.
Fights every few weeks, didn't go that low, they weren't horrible, but they weren't enjoyable.
---
First day of school, September, 2012
8th grade
Saw him for the first time in two months, everything was good, blah blah blah.
Texted him when we got home, started talking, I called him a player... we began the worst fight we would ever come to have. He said i didnt trust him because i was insecure, my fault i cant keep any guy friends, im too much drama, not to talk to him. We hugged and made up the very next day. We loved each otther, but almost every weekend we would fight and I couldn't trust him. I have come to think that it's because I can't call him mine and he could replace me and he could say all this stuff to anyone else..
October 31st, 2012
Found out my friends were being disloyal, turned to Trevor for help, he wasn't there... I was hurt.. I cried.
November 2nd, 2012
Told him he was never there for me, turned into a fight, another big one. He was going to leave me. I begged him to stay and we said we would work it out and everything was good for a few days.
------
To be quite honest, December is a blur. Except for December 26th & 27th..
I was so mean.
I told him to go to h e l l
to go eff himself
that i hated him
& other mean things, simply because he wasn't there. "Too Busy"
we talked it out. then the 27th , at night, we fought again, and decided that for the new year, we'd start completely over.
--------
January 1st, 2013, 12;00 am exact.
I texted him the first message I ever sent him.
we started over.
-------
3 days. we were good.
then we didnt talk for a week. talked to him that friday he said he thought I left him. I didnt. still didnt talk until monday. he stilll thought i left him. and I didnt.
Now, the rest is definetly a blur...
But, 11 days ago,
Things started,
GETTING BETTER.

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