Witty Profiles

Awesomename

1. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 29, 2012 8:50pm UTC
   A dad comes home drunk and mad, he pulls out a gun and shoots his
   wife and turns to the gun himself and pulls the trigger.
   The little girl sits behind a couch crying.
   The police came and took the little girl to a new family, and she went to her
   first Sunday school at church.
   She walks past the building and sees a picture of Jesus on the cross.
   The little girl then ask's the teacher,
   "How did that man get off the cross?"
   The teacher replied,
   "He never did" .
   Then the little girl argued, "Yes he did. Because the
   night that my
   mommy and daddy died he sat next to me behind
   the couch,
   telling me everything was going to be alright".
   66% of you won't post this,
   But remember what the Bible says.
   "Deny
   me in front of your friends and i shall deny you in
   front of my
   Father".
   So re-post this, remember God saw you read this.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
2. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 29, 2012 8:39pm UTC
   Anyone else remember the show "CatDog"!!
   Like how did that even happen??
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 13 points
3. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 29, 2012 8:35pm UTC
   ME- "Mom, make me some food!"
   MOM- " Make it yourself!!"
   ME- "Nevermind, I'm not hungry......"
   Story of my life :D♥
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
4. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 29, 2012 8:31pm UTC
   Today!
   Kid in my class- I wanna make houses with 18 rooms each and the rent is free!
   Teacher- Well, who are you gonna have clean the rooms?
   Kid in my class- My mom.
   lets just say, my teachers face was PRICELESS!! :)
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
5. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 29, 2012 8:23pm UTC
   When my headphones go in, my whole life becomes a music video :)♥
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
6. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 29, 2012 8:19pm UTC
   The awkward moment when you are trying to tell someone something funny, and all you can do is laugh and they just stare at you, like oookkkaaayyy............... :)
   ♥ ♥ ♥
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 20 points
7. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 27, 2012 8:53pm UTC
   I always restart the game when I know I'm gonna lose.. :(
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 2 points
8. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 27, 2012 8:47pm UTC
   Mom- "There are a lot of weirdos out there"
   Me- "Mom, I know, they're my friends............."
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
9. Awesomename
   posted a quote
   February 27, 2012 8:31pm UTC
   Have you ever noticed when someone gets hurt during an episode of SpongeBob, they always say "Oww, my leg". Not "Oww my arm" or "Oww my face". Its always the leg.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
10. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 8:24pm UTC
    "IM SEXY AND I KNOW IT!"
    Me-"Grandma please, pull your shirt down!"
    ♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
11. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 8:14pm UTC
    "GET OUT OF MY FACE!"
    Me-"Grandma, chill, it's a 3D movie!"
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 32 points
12. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 8:11pm UTC
    No matter how much you worry about the future, it's gonna happen.
    Let it.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
13. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 27, 2012 8:06pm UTC
    ♥You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have.♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
14. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2012 10:05pm UTC
    The feeling you get when you're asleep and you feel like you just fell off something.
    Happens all the time
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
15. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2012 9:15pm UTC
    I bet no guy has the guts to write me a paragraph in my comment box on my profile that i will never forget. Girls, pass this on and see whos the nicest guy on witty.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 0 points
16. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2012 6:37pm UTC
    HOW TO FIND THE NAME OF A SONG: type all the words in Google & hope for the best!! :)
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
17. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2012 6:26pm UTC
    Okay, I'm gonna study NOW.......*3 hours LATER* ......Okay, I'm gonna study now. SERIOUSLY. :)
    all ways happenes
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
18. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2012 6:19pm UTC
    Do you ever just lie in your bed, and think : Is this me?? Am I really alive?? Am I really here?? Or is this all a massive dream of life. ♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points
19. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2012 6:14pm UTC
    Dear facewash commercials,
    People don't actually splash their face with water like that.
    Sincerely,
    My bathroom floor is now soaking wet.
    thanks.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 19 points
20. Awesomename
    posted a quote
    February 26, 2012 6:01pm UTC
    Fri[end], Girlfri[end], Boyfri[end], everything has an [END] except for fam[ily]
    ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points

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