Aisnotonfire's Favorites

Aisnotonfire

cupcake_lover88
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 10:56pm UTC

i typed "b.i.t.c.h" into my gps this morning. and it took me to your drive way.
vroom vroom mother fluffer.

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capsized*
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 11:14pm UTC

Me getting into the shower: "I'm gonna be the shiniest.
Like no kid was before.
I'm cleanin' up! I'm strippin' down!
I'm working on my pores!
Thus far, the heats rising in this thiiiiinnng!
OH I JUST CAN'T WAIIIIIIIIIIIT TO BE CLEANNNNNNNNNNNNN!"
mq

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capsized*
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 11:45pm UTC

I blew up my chemistry lab.
Oxidants happen.

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dareme_
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 11:59pm UTC

I suffer when fictional characters embarrass themselves.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 1:01pm UTC

What a girl's hair means:
Hair color:
Brown hair: You're probably a nice person
Red hair: You should probably be my friend now because I'm gonna be extinct in 100 years
Blonde hair: I'm gonna suck your--I probably have a really caring personality
Non human color hair: I'm gonna suck your--I'm such a creative free spirit
Hair styles:
Straight down: I'm trying to impress you, but not that much
Curled: I'm really trying to impress you. It took me, like, twenty extra minutes and I burned myself twice.
Bun: My hair is really dirty and I'm hoping you can't tell or I'm on my way to practice. Lay ups!
Low ponytail: I'm on my way to the library
Hair is suddenly chopped off and dyed: I just broke up with my boyfriend
Side ponytail: I actually listen to and genuinely enjoy Lil Mama's music
Side braid: I'm really lazy and just can't figure it out.
High ponytail: I'm wearing it like this because my face looks really bad if you can't see my hair from the front
Regular ponytail: I have a not bad looking face
Poof as high as a giraffe: You don't even want to know the last time I washed my hair. Nope, keep going.
Head band: Sometimes when I hook up with people, I can't wait for it to be over
Really high bun: I'm either hammered drunk, fifteen years old and on my way to class, going to bed, or an idiot
Shaved off: I'm just being Miley
Sock bun: I think this looks good, but not even I know for sure
Slicked back: I'm crazy
Bangs: I'm kind of at a weird time in my life right now
Mohawk: Hey! Who brought drugs?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3X3nrVF6n4

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demons*
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 10:04pm UTC

HOME ALONE!
Expectation: PARTY! PARTY! PARTY!
Reality: Peeing with the door open
f o r m a t j i m m y 3 6 5 | f u n n i e s

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ToriRox16
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 10:29pm UTC

Typical Teenager Top Insults 2012
"You don't have swag!"
"You're gay!"
"One Direction will never love you!"
Wittian Top Insults 2012
"I hope you lose all your followers!"
"Go step on a Lego!"
"I hope your Wifi goes out!"

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MDog
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 10:32pm UTC

Me: May I go to the bathroom
Teacher: What for?
Me: TO OPEN THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS, What do you think for?

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officialmona
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 10:33pm UTC

Pitch Perfect
Bumper: Hey Fat Amy! Ambush!
*hits fat Amy with a burrito*
Fat Amy: I've been shot... I've just been
shot!!!!
Cynthia Rose: Fat Amy, Fat Amy!

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Drii_101
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 10:43pm UTC

Normal girls- OMG One Direction has a new album omgg!!!
Us witty girls- F*CK YEAH! I JUST GOT 100 FOLLOWERS ON WITTY. I.AM.JESUS.

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MeBeingNothingButMe
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 10:49pm UTC

If I had a penny for every time somone gave me a compliment I would be 5000 dollars in debt

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finding_nemo
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 11:01pm UTC

Welcome to Witty Profiles.
In other words, you're accepted into this dysfunctional family

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acc_1029
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 11:21pm UTC

Hey, what's up?
Nothing. Just converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.
WTF ?! How do you do that ?!
..Breathing, dude.
...oh.

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posted a quote
January 1, 1970 12:00am UTC

This quote does not exist.

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ClayoTomatoe
posted a quote
January 28, 2013 12:04am UTC

Patrick: Are you Squidward??
Fire Hydrant:
Patrick: Its ok, take your time.

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RandomGirl42
posted a quote
January 10, 2013 8:24pm UTC

Witty Profiles
A place where girls obsess over things that are way out of our reach. This includes: Fictional characters and members of any band. WARNING: Witty may cause lost of social life...oh wait, you never had a life. See nothing to worry about! So what are you waiting for? Join us already!
I think this is bunnylover43's format.

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 6:05pm UTC

Me: I have a headache
Parents: It's because you're on the computer too much
Me: My back hurts
Parents: It's because you're on the computer too much
Me: I failed a test
Parents: It's because you're on the computer too much
Me: The Grand Dutchess Anastasia Nikolaevna of Russia was murdered by communists in 1918
Parents: It's because you're on the computer too much

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kbstarlight
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 6:12pm UTC

you can walk straight through hell with a smile.

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 5:59pm UTC

Substitute teacher: *yells at me*
Me: YOU DON'T KNOW ME! YOU DON'T KNOW MY LIFE STORY!

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
January 26, 2013 8:23pm UTC

Kid I hate: *accidentally bumps my shoulder*
Me: Can you not? I hate you people! EVERYONE! ALL OF YOU! *points to classmates* I HATE YOU ALL! YOU'RE ALL STUPID AND CAN'T EVEN WORK THE INTERNET CORRECTLY! DOUBLE CLICK THE CHROME BUTTON! NOT ONE CLICK! AND YOU! *points to annoying kid* YOU'RE JUST STUPID! I DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW SOMEONE CAN BE SO IDIOTIC. I'LL SEE YOU ALL IN McDonalds WHEN YOU'RE TAKING MY ORDER! EVEN YOU, YOU STUPID TEACHER! DO YOU EVEN HAVE A DEGREE? YEAH, RIGHT. THIS CRAPPY SCHOOL WILL HIRE ANYONE! THEY HIRED THAT WHITE SPANISH TEACHER WHO CAN'T EVEN PRONOUNCE 'COMO' CORRECTLY! I MEAN, WHAT IS THAT? SO YEAH, I'LL SEE YOU IN McDonalds, and remember, I like my fries extra salty.

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