Witty Profiles

emilygm*

1. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   December 6, 2015 9:48pm UTC
   jfc is anyone still here
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
2. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   October 9, 2014 8:47pm UTC
   hi, witty!i missed you.
   
   👍 this is good · read the comments · 2 points
3. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   June 12, 2014 10:06pm UTC
   Working In A Library #1Me: "Hi, would you like to sign up for our summer reading program?"Customer: *blatantly sees me, stares at me, walks awAY*Me: Well, f_ck you too!
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 1 point
4. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   February 19, 2014 8:05am UTC
   I go to seek a great perhaps...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
5. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   February 5, 2014 9:29pm UTC
   What a wonderful
   caricature of
   intimacy...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
6. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   January 3, 2014 4:21pm UTC
   I was at lunch a few weeks ago, and I was sitting with my friend, and these sixth graders (sitting diagonally from us at another table) were being really loud and annoying. At one point, one of the sixth grade boys laughed at the top of his lungs, like "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA" so my friend just turned around and went "HAHAHAHASHUTTHEFUCKUP." It worked.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 6 points
7. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   November 27, 2013 8:54pm UTC
   *sigh* I don't know where you guys live, but I'm in Florida, and someone in the neighborhood next to mine just set off fireworks at 5:30 PM... for Thanksgiving...
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 5 points
8. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   November 27, 2013 11:15am UTC
   Him
   his smile
   his eyes
   his voice
   his laugh
   his warmth
   his existence
   him.
   I didn't say a name, but someone popped into your head.
   ♥
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
9. emilygm*
   posted a quote
   November 20, 2013 7:00pm UTC
   Phil's channel trailer: Get Your Phil of Amazing
   Me: Omfg the point is to persuade people that your channel is cool, not that you're a middle-aged dad stuck in the 90's and in denial about life.
   
   👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
10. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    November 15, 2013 8:01pm UTC
    "Its a good thing to be strange. Normalness leads to sadness."
    ~Phil Lester
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points
11. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    November 13, 2013 8:22am UTC
    "Oh, sweet Jesus
    on a stick!"
    format credit to OneDirection
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 3 points
12. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 31, 2013 8:11am UTC
    but yoU GUYS
    The Halloween thingy on Witty is so adorable asdfghjkl;
    it's like little ghosts and bats, and awe <3 <3 <3
    HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!!
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 9 points
13. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 29, 2013 7:58pm UTC
    I don't understand how people approach their crush.
    I don't even have the guts to ask for an extra ketchup at McDonald's.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 79 points
14. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 19, 2013 10:00am UTC
    If you guys think you're bad at life,
    I put Febreze in my hair this morning.
    In my hair.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 31 points
15. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 7:26pm UTC
    I just wasted,
    ten seconds of your lifeeeeee.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 4 points
16. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 6:59pm UTC
    What do you call it when you put a salt shaker next to a knife?
    A salt with a deadly weapon.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 10 points
17. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 6:57pm UTC
    Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?
    He's all right now.
    
    👍 this is good · read the comments · 10 points
18. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 6:53pm UTC
    *Puts a quarter in my ear*
    ...I'm listening to 50 cent.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
19. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    October 5, 2013 6:48pm UTC
    Can we please stop with all the really horrible puns here on Witty?
    I have to say, it's getting really punnoying.
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 7 points
20. emilygm*
    posted a quote
    September 15, 2013 5:39pm UTC
    "If you fall, I'll be there."
    ~Floor
    
    👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 8 points

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