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Best Yerp Quotes Ever

  1. Dinocaulay Dinocaulay
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2013 11:39pm UTC
    "I never said he stole my money"
    This sentence has 7 different meanings depending on the stressed word

  2. Bunnies458 Bunnies458
    posted a quote
    November 1, 2013 12:07am UTC
    I think teachers should be tested for insanity before being approved to educate.

  3. ribcaged ribcaged
    posted a quote
    April 7, 2013 6:03pm UTC
    AN EXCERPT OF A STORY I'VE GIVEN UP ON
    I looked out my plane window, watching everything I’ve ever known shrink into nothing. I was on a flight to my dad’s out in Oregon—it was the only place left for me to go ever since about a month ago, when my mom collided with an eighteen wheeler. Despite the burning hatred I had for my father because of his purpose absence in all of my seventeen years, I suppose I needed someone to help me get through this ‘spiraling depression’ according to my school counselor.
    I stared at the puffy white clouds gently floating in the sky… how did that feel? To be weightless and have nothing to hold you down like burdens and sadness and to just feel completely… free. As the thought swam through my head and Coldplay sang to me through my earbuds, I felt the soft tug of sleep pull me away.
    And then I was suddenly shaken away—literally.
    I looked around the cabin, groggy and confused. The lights above flickered frantically and the plane rumbled furiously, making my Coke beside me slosh in its cup. I looked out my window but my eyes could only find the dark night sky. A voice came on the speaker.
    “Uh, sorry folks we’re experience just a bit of turbulence here. It should return to norm—“ the pilot was interrupted by the gasps of fear and surprise caused by the sudden darkness in the plane. The lights were cut off. I sat up straight and pressed the light switch above my seat—dead. The shaking of the plane grew more violent and I felt my pulse race just a smidge.
    “We’re caught in a minor storm but we are trying to fly to safety. Please stay calm, as everything will be alright.” One of the slightly unnerved flight attendants came over the speaker.
    We all sat in the dark, soft murmurs of my fellow passengers surrounding me. The only sound was from outside, with the rain pattering and the thunder rolling. I was on my own here, an un accompanied minor. To be quite honest, I wasn’t sure if I could believe the flight attendant who claimed that “everything will be alright”. From experience I knew nothing would.
    “Oh my god!”
    A man shouted aloud as we felt the plane drop, as we dropped. We lost flight but there was no explanation for it. Something tightened in my chest and I looked out my raindrop covered window. Flashes of lightning burned my eyes and it painted the inside of the cabin a midnight blue. Screams of horror erupted and as the lightning went on, I could see quick glimpses of people holding onto each other. Strangers or not, they were clutching onto each other for their lives. Crew members scrambled among the aisles, trying to keep everyone calm, while in the control room it was hell.
    Is this what it feels like now? I thought as I held on tightly to my arm rest, my knuckles white. To be weightless?
    I had no idea where we were going to crash but I was certain there was a slim chance any of us would survive. In the moments of free fall, I observed what was going on. I looked to my left, onto the opposite side, and I could barely make out the one person sitting there. He looked around twenty and he had his arms held out wide open. Almost as if he was going in for a hug of some sort. I was in shock, as I could see maybe the slightest chance of a smile on his face. I wasn’t sure if his eyes were open or not. But I watched him the entire time, through the rest of the free fall and spinning. I think I was still staring at him when the plane veered to the right, causing me to smash against my window as we descended to the ground.

  4. mads* mads*
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2013 4:23pm UTC
    My brother sneezed on me.
    I tackled him and put him in a headlock.
    I told him that if he ever did that again
    I would spit in his mouth while he slept.
    Never sneeze on me. Ever.

  5. ribcaged ribcaged
    posted a quote
    April 9, 2013 5:59pm UTC
    UNTITLED || chapter - two
    I woke up to blinding lights, my sight and senses rushing into me all at once. I blinked for a moment, willing my eyes to refocus. I was staring at a blank wall, as white as the lights that had imprinted a gash deep into my eyes a second ago. Something dug into my wrist and I lifted it, seeing a hospital band roped around it. I stared down at the bed sheets and the gown that replaced my clothes. The room smelled of something sterile and from the distant ringing of telephones, realization that I was in a hospital hit me across the face. White, white, white. Everything was painted like the color of snow in my room. I lifted my hands and made contact with the plastic cannula that ran along my nose, almost shocked to feel it there. I sat up abruptly and was greeted by a painful piercing in my chest, causing me to sink back into the hospital bed like a wounded dog.
    “Oh, she’s awake,” a voice from the doorway broke me away from my daydream-like state and I glanced up. A man in a long white coat and a stethoscope slung around his neck smiled at me. He pushed up his glasses as he stepped aside, allowing room for my father to enter in.
    He looked the same as always, with his chestnut brown hair highlighted slightly by a little gray to his dark eyes that were now creased with worry. He rushed over and I could see the slight stubble that lined his cheeks.
    “Erin, honey, are you alright?” His tone was exchanged for something soft, and his hand touched mine. I wanted to rip away from his grasp but I was too weak to move.
    “I…” My voice was strained and raspy from the lack of use. It hurt to even speak.
    “She’s doing a lot better than when she arrived,” the doctor noted, tugging at his stethoscope.
    “W-what happened?” Where am I?” I hated how I sounded so helpless, so confused. I sounded like your typical soap opera character who just woke up from a twenty year coma.
    “Your flight crashed on the way to Oregon. You were carried off by a huge storm—you guys landed in the Pacific Ocean!” My dad sounded hysterical. If I wasn’t so shaken up still, I would’ve been right alongside him. It just sounded so unreal. At one point I was just watching the clouds, flying from Alberta, Canada to Oregon, and then suddenly I’m sitting here in this hospital bed.
    “You were rescued though, by a young man… the medics reported that he carried you and himself to the shores of California. That’s when a helicopter was sent in and flew you over here.” The doctor folded his arms across his chest. I perked up at the mentioning of a young man.
    “Who?” I sat up again, wincing at the pain and letting out a gasp and a choke. Hands were on me in an instant, and they guided me back to the pillows.
    “Please, take it easy, you’re recovering. You nearly drowned, and you’re still marked for respiratory issues.” The doctor’s voice was injected with concern and my father almost shrieked in horror at the words ‘respiratory issues’.
    “Who? Who helped me?” I pressed further, ignoring them both of a second. “I-I don’t recall his name, as he wasn’t my patient. I heard that he checked out earlier though, if that helps—I… listen, Erin, I think you just need some more rest.” I closed my mouth after that, noticing how he was trying to juggle both my father and I.
    I simply obeyed and laid back, resting my head against the bleach smelling cushions. My doctor gave me a pat on the hand and I received a kiss on the temple from my father. They left the room without another word to me, instead throwing sentences rapidly back and forth at each other. There was no use in pushing any further, so I huddle down into my blanket and tried to convince myself that I was tired.
    Eventually it worked, and my eyelids drooped while my head began to fill with that sudden cloudiness of sleep. In the few moments of any consciousness, I saw a figure enter my room. It stood by the door and slowly made its way towards my bed. Its hands gripped on metal siding and I watched its knuckles turn white. I squinted at its face, blinking, unable to withstand the weight upon my eyes.
    “Who?” I managed to slur my unanswered question again, before going under the realm of sleep.
    AUTHOR'S NOTE:
    hi guys. so a lot of you lovely people seemed to like my ridiculous story... and well, why not attempt to continue it? i dunno, it'll be an adventure—we'll see how it goes. so far, i've come up with three possible titles for the story and they are: Dynamics, Turbulence, and Mayday. why not vote on any one of those, or even suggest me a title if you want! i just want to make this clear though: i will not notify you when the next chapter is up or anything of that nature. i find it highly annoying and somewhat tedious, so the best way to see if a new chapter is up or not is to follow me. okay, that's all. have a nice day. bye.

  6. JustNodandSmile JustNodandSmile
    posted a quote
    June 24, 2013 8:54am UTC
    I remember the good
    ol'
    days
    of
    life being
    What You Made It

  7. lemon.cake* lemon.cake*
    posted a quote
    January 5, 2014 8:51pm UTC
    5 days into the new year and I haven't written 2013 on any of my homework yet ^.^ I'm hypeee
    formatt by cosima2

  8. LovingEmma LovingEmma
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2013 11:58am UTC
    I'm done counting
    days.
    Now because of you I'm making
    days count.

  9. lemon.cake* lemon.cake*
    posted a quote
    December 8, 2013 11:47am UTC
    Until a girl gets her period,
    she won't understand how wonderful sleep is.
    They won't understand the gift of sleeping flat on a bed.
    format by cosima2

  10. mj13 mj13
    posted a quote
    April 4, 2013 2:34pm UTC
    Quiz
    What's your real first name?
    mry
    Will you lie in this survey?
    nope
    who are you currently talking to?
    a couple guys nothing serious
    relationship status?
    single
    crush?
    yepp
    favorite color?
    teal
    school?
    msja
    do you have a best friend?
    i have 6 amazing best friends
    is there one person you have never got into a fight with?
    yeah
    do you hate anyone?
    yes my ex best friend
    do you like school?
    sometimes I wish I chose a different high school but I do love it
    who have you texted today?
    tara sarah my mom claire and frankie
    do you know anybody that's in the hospital right now?
    no thank god
    when was the last time you cried?
    yesterday
    have you ever cried over your ex boyfriend/girlfriend?
    yessss many many many times
    do you have a myspace?
    pshhyaa, but i dont use it anymore.
    do you have a facebook?
    obvi duh
    do you have plans for this weekend?
    not ones that are set in stone
    what's the last thing you ate?
    baby carrots
    are you in a good mood?
    its pretty good
    do you think this survey is long?
    nope, not really. i like surveys
    who was the last person you got into a fight with?
    my mom
    is there one person you get into a fight with at least once a week?
    yess, i love you more fights <3
    do you have a phone?
    Yeaaah tmobile for the win
    how many contacts do you have?
    not sure
    are you a straight A student ?
    straight A-
    what's your favorite period in school?
    lunch is nice
    do you want this survey to end?
    nooooooo haha
    this survey is done.
    alrighty

  11. lemon.cake* lemon.cake*
    posted a quote
    December 13, 2013 12:40am UTC
    Abortion is not a personal choice.
    It's the murder of future leaders,
    doctors,
    & at the very least,
    Obamacare enrollees!
    But, I'm for abortion. You?

:)

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