Best Wow Quotes Ever

CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
April 9, 2013 8:51pm UTC

Normal people with their crush
Them: Okay, I've liked him for about a month now, it's time I tell him!
Me: Day 76,435 and I still am watching from this bush. Soon, I will approach him. Soon.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 602 points

kristabff
posted a quote
May 31, 2013 4:16pm UTC

"Don't worry, there's plenty of fish in the sea!"
So wait, are you suggesting that I am such a boy repellent that the only species I have a chance with is fish?? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING

👍 this is good · read the comments · 297 points

CookieMonster09*
posted a quote
August 25, 2013 5:46pm UTC

Apparently, jokingly spreading your legs when the dentist says 'open wide' is frowned upon in this establishment.

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*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
October 8, 2013 7:38pm UTC

I get bloody noses a lot and I can usually feel it
about 30 seconds before it starts dripping. Today
in class my nose started to bleed. But right before,
I turned to this very religious boy who sits next to
me and whispered “Hail satan” as my nose started
to drip. He freaked out and fell back and hit his head.
He had to go home for the rest of the day.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 261 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
July 25, 2013 12:38pm UTC

*Seductively lays on a table* Hey bab-
*Table breaks*

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ThatsSoMeee
posted a quote
April 29, 2013 2:57pm UTC

When I see you,
I hold my breath.
Sometimes I have to remind myself that I need to breathe.
When I see you, I can’t stop staring.
Sometimes it’s so hard to pull away,
and if I were to keep staring,
my eyes would be stuck that way.
When you’re next to me, it’s so hard to concentrate.
Sometimes, I gotta tell myself that you’re just a guy,
no one special.
Well, that’s what I keep telling myself,
but my heart seems to disagree.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 199 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
August 12, 2013 4:38pm UTC

I'm not even a 2nd choice
I'm like an 8th choice sometimes a 10th

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
September 19, 2013 4:24pm UTC

*Runs into a chair*
Me: sorry
Chair: you f.cking should be

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 192 points

kristabff
posted a quote
February 22, 2013 5:28pm UTC

I wonder what it was like
for the first people on instagram.
One of the first people: *posts picture*
One of the first people: *gets 2 likes*
One of the first people: HELL YEAH I'M ON THE POPULAR PAGEEE

👍 this is good · read the comments · 193 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
November 17, 2013 4:27pm UTC

Things to say/do to a telemarker;
"I'm blind, could you repeat that?"
(Speak with perfect English) "I don't speak English, sorry!"
Say "Want to hear a cool noise?" Then hang up.
"My grandma fell off a cliff last week, don't you even care?!" Then hang up.
Act real interested, then at then end tell them no thanks and hang up.
Try to sell THEM something.
Pick up the phone and say "It's completed, but there's blood everywhere."
"Hello, this is the local spe.rm bank. You jack it we pack it! How may we help you?"

👍 this is good · read the comments · 194 points

chickittylover
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 6:47pm UTC

I have a very cool true story.
When my mom and her brother were very little, about 5 ish, her brother said he hated red-heads. He said if he had a red-head child, he would kill it.
Obviously, he grew up and doesn't think about that anymore.
Now, listen to this and remember what he said about red heads.
So about 16 or 17 years ago, my mom's little brother's wife was pregnant. It was expected that they were going to get a boy. A night before they had the baby, my mom had a dream. Her dream was that her grandma (who has passed away already) came into her dream. Her grandma told my mom, "Dear, your brother is going to have a girl tomorrow. A girl! Not a boy. And get this! The girl will be a red-head!"
The next morning, my mom got a call from her brother.
He said to her, "Wow, we had the baby! It's a girl, not a boy after all! And she's a... red head."
Wow. This is so weird... what are the chances? And no one in my family even has red hair. Both coincidential and just.. weird!

👍 this is good · read the comments · 188 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
August 10, 2013 2:43pm UTC

My mom got a Jesus shaped flashlight
just so whenever someone says “I can’t see” she can be like “Let jesus light the path”

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*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
September 12, 2013 8:01pm UTC

I heard a dog bark today so I barked back
and it barked the exact same way and we went
back and forth until my friend told me that it was
just my voice echoing and I had been barking to
myself for 5 minutes straight

👍 this is good · read the comments · 166 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
July 28, 2013 6:24pm UTC

If on the first day of school a kid says
"present" instead of "here"
during attendance you know they're gonna be an annoying little sh.t bag.

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lithium*
posted a quote
June 29, 2013 5:30pm UTC

IF EVERYONE BECAME HOTTER EVERY TIME THEY WERE A GOOD PERSON AND BECAME UGLY WHEN THEY DID HORRIBLE STUFF OH MY GOD

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CaitlinAtTheDisco*
posted a quote
August 7, 2013 10:42am UTC

Brother: Yo momma so stupid, she was locked in a mattress store and fell asleep on the floor.
Other Brother: Yo momma so fat, when she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
Mom: Yo momma so stupid, she got pregnant four times and didn't put any of them up for adoption

👍 this is good · read the comments · 163 points

doublesidedice
posted a quote
May 25, 2013 10:07pm UTC

Steve Jobs was abandoned and a dropout.
Oprah Winfrey was s.xually abused by family, was a runaway, had a miscarriage at age 14, and more.
Eminem was bullied, suicidal, self harmed, had a druggie mom, and was abandoned by his dad, and more.
Demi Lovato was abused, suicidal, self harmed, bulimic, anorexic, and more.
Many more people went through many more struggles.
Look where these people are today.
What makes you think you can't be there as well?

👍 this is good · read the comments · 166 points

Saige112
posted a quote
March 31, 2013 9:39pm UTC

"I'm sick of fat girls saying they have curves, no it's fat."
Yeah, well I'm sick of skinny b/tches like you judging people with real bodies.

👍 this is good · read the comments · 245 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
August 2, 2013 12:00pm UTC

What if I bought a cactus and carried it
around
and just whacked everyone who annoys me with the cactus

👍 this is good · read the comments · 158 points

*Elena;~ ♥*

posted a quote
July 30, 2013 1:09pm UTC

.
haha only girls will get this am I right ladies

👍 this is good · read the comments · 176 points

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Best Wow Quotes Ever