Best Woah Quotes Today

kristabff
posted a quote
May 29, 2013 4:05pm UTC

This is how my mom works.
Mom: How much homework do you have, sweetie?
Me: Kind of alot, I'll have to start in about a half hour or so. I'm going to play computer right now though.
Mom: Alright, as soon as the clock turns 4:00, you start your homework right away! No excuses!
Me: I know mom I know, I'm responsible you know that.
Clock: ~turns to 4:00~
Me: Oh shoot better rap this up, hold on though just gotta reply to this last comment
Clock: ~turns to 4:01~
Mom: HONEY WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU I SAID 4:00 I THOUGHT YOU CLAIMED YOU WERE RESPONSIBLE OH MY GODDDDDD. I DID NOT RAISE YOU THIS WAY. YOU BETTER GET DOWN HERE AND START YOUR HOMEWORK BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE AND YOU HAVE TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. IF YOU FAIL THESE ASSIGNMENTS JUST REMEMBER IT WAS ALL YOUR FAULT. I'M DISSAPOINTED IN YOU.

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chickittylover
posted a quote
March 13, 2013 6:47pm UTC

I have a very cool true story.
When my mom and her brother were very little, about 5 ish, her brother said he hated red-heads. He said if he had a red-head child, he would kill it.
Obviously, he grew up and doesn't think about that anymore.
Now, listen to this and remember what he said about red heads.
So about 16 or 17 years ago, my mom's little brother's wife was pregnant. It was expected that they were going to get a boy. A night before they had the baby, my mom had a dream. Her dream was that her grandma (who has passed away already) came into her dream. Her grandma told my mom, "Dear, your brother is going to have a girl tomorrow. A girl! Not a boy. And get this! The girl will be a red-head!"
The next morning, my mom got a call from her brother.
He said to her, "Wow, we had the baby! It's a girl, not a boy after all! And she's a... red head."
Wow. This is so weird... what are the chances? And no one in my family even has red hair. Both coincidential and just.. weird!

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Hale_Storm18
posted a quote
March 25, 2013 4:50pm UTC

My friend just told me that the Krabby Patty secret ingredient is crab,
hence why it's called a Krabby Patty. And Mr. Krabs is so secretive over it because he doesn't want people to know they're eating peiple like him. And Plankton is actually a good guy.

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helloimasmileface
posted a quote
April 18, 2013 7:24pm UTC

Format chickittylover
Imagine if
you were deaf, blind, paralyzed, and mute at the same time...
I would want to tell someone to shoot me but I wouldn't have any way to tell them!

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doncasturbate*
posted a quote
December 22, 2013 8:54pm UTC

After you die, it's believed that you
have 7 minutes of brain activity left
inside you, and in the 7 minutes you
experience your entire life over, in a
kind of dream.. Because in a dream
time is stretched.
So if this is the case, what if right now
you're in that 7 minutes? How do you
know if you're alive or just reliving old
memories?

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AshleyRoseXoXoXo
posted a quote
August 14, 2013 8:50pm UTC

I just noticed I've been on witty for longer than a year.
Woah.

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flyingbacon7
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 5:10pm UTC

*Conversation between my future child and I*
Child: "Mom, how did you and daddy meet?
Me: "Well, it all started when he liked my embarassing selfie"

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moll :)*
posted a quote
March 24, 2013 10:35am UTC

I TOLD HIM I
LIKED HIM.
OH MY GOD.

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CharliesTheName
posted a quote
August 1, 2013 7:56pm UTC

You are related to your mom and dad.
Your mom is related to you.
Your dad is realated to you.
Your mom is NOT related to your dad.

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flyingbacon7
posted a quote
January 19, 2014 7:25pm UTC

Music speaks the words
I'm too afraid to say

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flyingbacon7
posted a quote
October 21, 2013 5:48pm UTC

I used to be the girl who wanted to die
I blocked out everyone
I cried myself to sleep
I wouldn't get help
I would have always have bad thoughts and harm my body
I was pretty good at hiding my pain but at one point my pain got too much to handle
I decided that I was going to kill myself
I was determined that no one cared at all about me
So what's the point in living?
I was about to do this and then I stopped
And I thought
I thought about my friends who even though they aren't always there for me they can always make me smile and they aren't perfect but no one is
I thought about my grandma who means the world to me and who would be devestated if her little grandaughter was gone
I thought about my teachers who have taught me through out the years and has filled my brain full of knowledge
I thought about my mom who even though she yells at me loves me unconditionally. She hasn't been the best mom a girl could ask for but lately she has been trying to be there for me
I thought about my dad who calls me his little girl. He might not understand me at all but he tries his best and does a lot for me
I thought about everyone who I have impacted in my life
And yes they don't pay as much attention to me as I want
No, they are not always there for me
But they care about me
After doing all this thinking
I changed my mind
I wanted to live
I wanted to go out and live my life to the fullest
I wanted to impact as many people's lives as I can
I wanted to help hurt people like me
I wanted to make people feel like they belong
I wanted to do things out of my comfort zone
I'm not always the happiest
But I am happier than I was
Things are no where near perfect now
But I have to make the best out of the situation
I can't dwell on all the negatives
And you shouldn't either
Because guess what?
We can't change it unfortunately
And here I am today smiling a real smile
I wouldn't be here smiling if I would have tooken my life away
I have changed into a whole new different girl
I am no where near perfect
But perfect is boring
I am just an imperfect girl wanting to make a difference and just live her life

👍 this is good · read the comments · 39 points

flyingbacon7
posted a quote
January 7, 2014 12:16pm UTC

I have the
"I take too many selfies" syndrome

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dolph*
posted a quote
May 5, 2013 2:17pm UTC

What if when we fall asleep and we start dreaming it’s actually just
alternate universe versions of us waking up and when we’re awake that’s their time to sleep

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flyingbacon7
posted a quote
January 24, 2014 5:38pm UTC

That moment when you've just spent hours finishing a really good book
And then you're expected to get back to reality

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flyingbacon7
posted a quote
January 5, 2014 6:01pm UTC

I really want more friend but I am so awkward
I'm like " Ummm.. Hi, My name's Kelsey.. I like you... wanna be friends?"

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Beau*
posted a quote
July 3, 2013 6:06am UTC

OMG,
that smile of yours
made me fall on my knees.

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Vinita*
posted a quote
May 15, 2014 7:45pm UTC

That moment
When you see a guy
That looks like a combination of two of your exes
And you're just standing there like
'Woah man.'

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flyingbacon7
posted a quote
January 23, 2014 10:06pm UTC

Imagine meeting your favorite wittian
How awesome would that be?

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Lane *
posted a quote
August 13, 2013 8:49pm UTC

I always wonder why my life is the way it is I wonder what I did to deserve the life Iike this? I always catch myslef wondering if you really care, is this the best for me or is it just the way it's meant to be. If I could change my past I would wish to never be alive I have this life that inside of me that I wonder if it could be my life to live? When people ask whats wrong I lie and say nothins' wrong. I know they can see through my lie im lieing through my teeth just to find some peace. I say theres no point to life, that's a lie i just have to to climb to see what I gotta find. It's a long way up I hope I don't fall, if I give up , it's worth nothin just a try. I alway wonder why my life is the way it is i wonder what I did to deserve the life I live?

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dolph*
posted a quote
April 14, 2013 9:57am UTC

Think about it,
When you're old you're gonna look at a 80 year old man and think DAMN

👍 this is good · comment on this quote · 15 points

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Best Woah Quotes Today