The Lonelies
chapter 3
Being lonely wasn't a good feeling. In fact, it felt like nothing at all. You see, when you're lonely you're missing something. Most of the time that something is a person. When you don't have this something it leaves you empty. It's like you haven't eaten anything for months but you're not even hungry. I have this feeling all the time and no matter how many times I'd been left I still have this small sliver of hope that haunts me. It was like falling into a pitch black hole and being okay with it. Not because everything would finally be over, because that small sliver of hope made me feel like at the end I'll find that something that would make the pitch black hole full of color.
Occasionally I'd find myself laughing and smiling and I'd get this foolish thought. "Maybe I'm not lonely anymore." but then after the laughter ended and there were no more smiles it'd come creeping back and lay there waiting. Waiting for me to self destruct and leave myself emptier than I was before. I couldn't though, I was always searching for that something that would creep inside me and fill every hole with out me knowing. Then one day I'd laugh and I'd smile and there wouldn't be that lonely after feeling and I'd feel whole.
whole
/hōl/
adjective
1.in an unbroken or undamaged state; in one piece.
noun
1.a thing that is complete in itself.
I was not whole. I was not complete. I was shattered in many pieces. I had cracks. I was broken and damaged and in many more than one piece. Being whole was a craving; a desire. We're all searching, I think. Searching for that someone or something that takes all our broken and damaged pieces and slowly and carefully helps you put them back together without caring if it's perfect. To be whole. How wonderful would it be to feel whole.
fool's gold*
Picturesque Wonderland.*
Delicate*
Princess B-tch*
seafoam*
Dustinshankle
tantalizingtori
daisybug2000
X_Bethan_X
echox
c_jand
gray22
MissyLizzie
DaniellaNella
PrimarilyParamore*
appleloop*
musicure