Don't mind this quote, just me venting.
There was this girl in my vocal class that went through the same things I went through. We made a promise to never hurt ourselves again and I've been trying to keep that promise but it's been hard these last few days. We became best friends for around the last two to three months of school. We'd always hang out together during school; we had our little group of friends but if we didn't want to be with them we'd walk around the track outside during lunch. I'd walk her to class, she'd walk me to class; the point is we were the best of friends. We'd even talked about Universities and made plans to be roomates and such, to get a scholarship so we could have fun together during those years. Even thinking about it makes me laugh. We made plans about hanging out this summer, summer full of memories and such like every other teens would want their summer to be like. But she had to leave for the whole summer for albania which I wasn't sad about; it's her blood related family, we would stay best friends. We talked about how we would skype each other everyday and such; I never had a best friend before so for me it was a pretty big deal. We had one fight but then we forgave each other two days later since we couldn't stay mad at eachother. There was this guy she'd always tell me about; he was obssessed with her. He'd annoy her alot, message her everyday and go to her house when she said no. He was whipped. And I didn't like him and I still don't like him. As summer started, they started dating. I openly told her I don't like him. She told me to trust him and I started being nice to him since that's what a best friend would do. He's a nice fellah but really girly and annoying which is why I didn't like the feeling but I started trusting him slightly. The thing is though, he'd always hang out with her during the summer and she'd tell me about it. I asked her if I could come over since we never hung out outside of school, but she told me she was busy while he kept going to her house and chilling with her. I didn't say anything about it because I'm not one to just start beef like that. And it wasn't that big of a deal. If she wants to chill with him then thats fine, my say isnt relavant. Then we were best friend so we had nothing to hide. She had my twitter account password and I had hers. But he comes in saying that he doesn't use his twitter so deletes his account but then starts sharing hers and makes her change the password since they were now sharing and now I don't have her account; she only has mine. Once again, I tried to talk to her about it but she said it wasn't a big deal so I let it go. This whole month of July since the day she was gone, I'm the one who always messaged her first to stay close with her and I've been trying to even though were miles and miles apart right now. It's been two weeks already and I haven't spoken to her at all and it just breaks my heart that I helped her through everything but she didn't once think of messaging me to ask how I'm feeling. Nobody does. I don't think you people understand that I have a bunch of friends, but I don't have one real friend that actually cares about me. I could leave and nobody would actually realise I left. It just breaks my heart that she doesn't really care about me. I bet she talks to him like everyday but not once did she have the decency to ask if I still kept my promise. Well, I'm done. I broke my promise a long time ago; I never stopped. The day she got mad at me, I had nobody. I cried for the whole two nights but she still had her people and instantly ditched me, making me the person who had to go talk to her; why does it always have to be me the one to go make such an effort to go talk. It's not all my fault. I've been trying to get my mind off evreything; I took summer school, I draw, I read, I play travel, I write stories on wattpad but nothing is okay. I'm done.
Just needed to vent because I'm done; I'm on my own. I need to stop caring so much about others when they never care about me. It's not like I'm anything special to be honest, the only reason I'm alive right now is because of my mother. It would break her heart, and I've been trying for ever to be happy. I guess it never works for people like me. Whatever, I'm done.
UnknownPoet
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