I saw something today
on Facebook about how Linkin Park's symbol has changed and is now missing the sixth side in its hexagonal shape because of the loss of Chester Bennington, as each piece represents an individual member of the group, and it made silent tears run down my face as I sat there looking at my phone thinking about how terrible it all is. It's terrible that people kill themselves because they think no one would miss them or notice if they were gone, but the truth is, things are never the same afterwards. The people whose lives you were in or whose lives you touched never feel complete again, there's no replacing you because no one else is a perfect fit to the mark you left behind. And that holds true for anyone who dies, whether it's by suicide or any other way. I just lost my grandmother to cancer and there is an unfillable empty space in my life now. And the thing that really got to me and made me emotional today upon seeing that post, was that she wanted to live. She loved her life, she was a happy, resilient, energetic, passionate woman who was rarely seen angry or upset, and when she was, it was for a damn good reason. She was always on her feet, always traveling somewhere and looking forward to something, she laughed at almost everything anyone said and always had something encouraging to say to someone who needed it. She wanted to live. She wanted to keep living, and she wanted to keep giving life to others. But she fell ill and she was taken from us, from me much sooner than she should have been. Then there's people whose bodies are perfectly healthy but their minds are not, and so they take themselves from their loved ones, they leave when they could have stayed. A mental health battle can be just as tedious and painful as one with a bodily disease, it's every bit as deserving of treatment and support. Don't let anyone tell you that it isn't. Please, don't take a strong body for granted. Seek help for your struggling mind so that it can be healthy, too. Because some people's physical health gets stolen from them in the blink of an eye, and sometimes there's nothing anyone can do to recover that.... But it's never too late to learn to change or manage your thoughts and coping methods. It's rarely easy, but it's always possible. Do not give up. Some people don't even have the luxury of a choice between fighting and letting go. I wonder, if my grandmother hadn't passed before him, could she have saved Mr. Bennington by talking to him and listening to him? I think she might have. She seemed to have that gift.