Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Best Stupid Quotes Ever

  1. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2013 5:09pm UTC
    Unless you physically see me
    opening a tampon, don't just assume that because I'm angry, I'm on my period because that's just annoying and tonight when you're sleeping, I will "just assume" you are dead and bury you in the backyard.

  2. lovecrazy lovecrazy
    posted a quote
    February 3, 2013 12:13pm UTC
    "All guys are the same."
    Yes, because my dad, Charles Manson, and Jesus Christ are all the same.
    "All girls are the same."
    Yes, because I am the same as Lindsay Lohan and Elizabeth Bathory.
    Do you realize how stupid you sound when you say these things?

  3. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2013 7:47pm UTC
    Me: *Reading a book*
    Person: What are you reading?
    Me: *holds up book while continuing to read*
    Person: Oh yeah, I read that book! Did you get to the part where ________ dies?
    Me: WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU DONE

  4. isitonlyme isitonlyme
    posted a quote
    June 3, 2013 6:03pm UTC
    school: make time for your interests and hobbies!
    school: oh btw we're going to keep you here for about 6 1/2 hours. and after that, we're going to give you hours of homework.
    school: eat 3 meals a day!
    school: here's lunch, it's cardboard.
    school: school is free!
    school: oh, but you have to pay for any ap classes, textbooks, folders, supplies, and materials for projects :)
    school: you earn the grades you get!
    school: what do you mean this teacher gives you bad grades because they don't like you? that's ridiculous!
    school: respect your teachers.
    school: oh, but they don't have to respect you, silly!
    school: everyone is an individual!
    school: here's a standardized test to figure out how smart you all are.
    school: balance your social life and academics.
    school: but you also have to do homework and study for the rest of the day.
    school: we accept all love!
    school: stop kissing and hugging eachother. that's gross.
    school: bullying is bad!
    school: but our teachers won't help you out of it, that's your job.
    school: it's okay to be out sick.
    school: but the teacher won't explain it to you if you were. that's your fault that you were sick.
    school: act like adults.
    school: but were going to treat you like children.
    tumblr.

  5. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2013 7:29pm UTC
    I like when Google answers
    my stupid questions because it means I'm not the only one asking Google stupid questions.

  6. WeAreTheBoys WeAreTheBoys
    posted a quote
    February 4, 2013 2:09pm UTC
    Someone just called me uneducated.
    Whatever that means.

  7. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 18, 2013 2:55pm UTC
    Those exciting moments when
    someone says a phrase or word that your celebrity crush says.
    Friend: Hi!
    Me: OH WOW THAT REMINDS ME OF PHIL LESTER HE SAYS HI TOO OMG

  8. Rajsonkar Rajsonkar
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2013 7:43pm UTC
    can you relate? Doing stupid things in front of
    the mirror right before
    showering. format credit-rajsonkar

  9. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    February 2, 2013 6:22pm UTC
    The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubt,
    while the stupid people are full of confidence.

  10. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2013 7:13pm UTC
    I'm just going to start carrying
    around a voice recorder so that when someone makes a promise, I can record it and play it back to them later when they forget about it like people do in TV shows.

  11. definition definition
    posted a quote
    March 29, 2013 6:41pm UTC
    *Eats celery stick*
    *Gains 10 pounds*

  12. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2013 4:13pm UTC
    Police: I'm happy to say that you're off the hook! You don't need the house arrest anymore, you are FREE TO SOCIALIZE OUTSIDE!
    Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

  13. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 3:37pm UTC
    Looking up symptoms online is
    not a good idea. Pretty sure I have scurvy, pneumonia, the bubonic plague, dry skin, leprosy, and death.

  14. *Elena;~ ♥* *Elena;~ ♥* happy witty anniversary!
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 6:24pm UTC
    If on the first day of school a kid says
    "present" instead of "here"
    during attendance you know they're gonna be an annoying little sh.t bag.

  15. desultori* desultori*
    posted a quote
    March 5, 2013 8:11pm UTC
    Me: OMG LOOK AT THAT DEER!
    My brother: OMG LOOK DEER'S ANOTHER ONE!
    Me:
    Me:
    Me:
    My brother:AHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
    Me:
    My brother: GET IT. 'CAUSE IT'S A DEER
    My brother: AND I SAID DEER INSTEAD OF THERE
    Me:
    Me:
    Me: I got it.
    My brother: Oh..

  16. WeAreTheBoys WeAreTheBoys
    posted a quote
    February 20, 2013 6:56pm UTC
    I got a package earlier, and on the front it read "do not bend".
    I thought to myself, "Well how exactly am I supposed to pick it up then?"

  17. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    October 30, 2013 5:15pm UTC
    It's Halloween time again.
    I guess you could say that's deja boo.

  18. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 15, 2013 5:14pm UTC
    There is no logical reason for
    shorts to be the same price as pants.

  19. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 3:30pm UTC
    "I can't live without wifi lol"
    said a girl named Krista. Yesterday, her wifi got cut out for a couple hours. Unfortunantly she has passed away, but we found this note left on her bed:
    Dear everyone i love,
    It's been half an hour since the wifi has gone. Wifi and i had a very very strong connection, and now it just died. Just like that. I never thought i would ever live to experience such a catastrophic death in a relationship. I really thought there were sparks between Wifi and I, but i guess it was just the static electricity between my computer charger and the outlet. I feel my world closing in.. there aren't many breaths left inside of me.. i've never felt so deprived before... i guess this is it...
    oh yeah and i left a billion dollars in the ca-

  20. Andreaxoxo Andreaxoxo
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2013 2:45pm UTC
    The ocean is a beautiful thing
    it can be calm and gentle
    soothing your worries
    erasing your fears.
    And then,
    when you're least expecting it,
    it can turn wild and raging,
    pulling you under,
    leaving you without air.
    The ocean is a beautiful thing.
    Kind of like you.

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles