I have one good friend that I love and care about. When I see her I feel my mood get 100 times better. She smiles at me I smile at her. Our conversations are light hearted in person, we delve a bit deeper in our text messages. I'm glad to have her. I'm glad she could show me what it means to have a true, wholesome friend. I have these other people I hang out with. My mood when I'm with them isn't the best. I can't help but feel like they don't respect me. Like I'm an easy target, or pushover. I know I just need to be firm once and for all, but I don't want to go that far. Because being firm in their books would have to be something as clear as a loud shout. More than just "Stop it, you're being too much." But something short of a meltdown. And I don't want to go that far. I've been distancing myself. Slowly easing myself out of our decade of "friendship". They're not the same anymore, I want to speed this process up, but I also want it to happen naturally. Why is this so hard.
I know What it's like to lose somebody you love And I know what it's like to lose yourself to the drugs And I know what it's like to have to let go of someone 'Cause they hurt you so bad that you're not the person you was
I hope someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight. They don't pull away, they don't look at your face, and they don't try to kiss you All they do is wrap you up in their arms and hold on tight without an ounce of selfishness in it I hope you become addicted, baby I hope you become addicted to sayin' things and having them matter to someone
Dudu* posted a quote
September 14, 2017 9:03am EDT
My younger sister is my best friend, but she doesn't know. She knows the most about me, I really like taking with her about whatever comes to mind. I can be myself completely. We fight a lot too about petty stuff, but it's never serious. She is my best friend. I won't tell her, because she would worry about me. "What about [insert friends name here]?" Would be the first thing she says back. And I don't want her to worry. She is a bit younger than me, I feel like I still have this proper image to uphold when I'm with her. It would hurt my pride if she knew how I really felt most of the time. She is my closest friend. Maybe when we're older I can tell her. Maybe when I'm older I will have made new friends. Maybe when my depression goes away. Who knows.
Dudu* posted a quote
September 14, 2017 9:16am EDT
I've decided I don't like you. You were nice enough to keep me interested, but I keep seeing cracks of your personality seep through, bad aspects. No ones perfect but I have to acknowledge the red flags ahead of time. So I've decided I don't like you. It was cute when you held doors open for me, watched over me and lent me a helping hand. I never asked for it and it was kind of you. We shared smiles and we made each other laugh. You're super tall and have super broad shoulders. Your face is a ten too. But I can't overlook some things. You seem to have a short temper. You took it out on your friend. I noticed it and you smiled over, tried to make it seem like nothing was going on. I couldn't reciprocate the smile this time. We all have bad days. But you can't let bad days make you a bad person for that day. You were really cool in my eyes before that.
words are just air that flies into the wind, noticed once and never remembered again. So if you want to keep me, do not blow your loving air into my ear, instead use motions that cut through the wind, and prove that they are puzzle pieces that fit into one another. Eminem - Space Bound
Don't think I don't understand.. She's prettier She's funnier She's smarter She's more talented She's cuter She's got a more attractive laugh Don't think I don't understand, But don't ever think she can love you like I do.
Dudu* posted a quote
September 11, 2017 9:13am EDT
You were the best part of my day today. I never pay you much attention. But fate always brings you near. We were paired up, you were so shy. I felt my cheeks get warm, you became more at ease. I had a long day today. I walked back into the room to find you on my seat. You were so flustered I assured you it was okay, we could work on it together. I'm glad you're getting comfortable with me. We're still at the awkward friend stage but still, I'm glad you're getting comfortable with me.