Restaurant Quotes

BluRoseHeart*
posted a quote
September 24, 2014 9:41am UTC

*At a Restaurant*
"Would you like a table?"
"NO not at all,
I came here to eat on the floor.
Carpet for 5 please."

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1mrsseguin9
posted a quote
June 20, 2014 10:28pm UTC

Marry the person who makes you feel the same way you do when you see your food coming out at a restaurant

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TheFallenAngel
posted a quote
February 11, 2014 12:39pm UTC

I have a question..
When you 'wait' for a waiter in a restaurant, aren't you a waiter?

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SumziDaSasster*
posted a quote
December 15, 2013 10:45am UTC

"Would You Like A Table?"
No, I Came To The Restaurant
To Eat On The Carpet. A Table
For Five Please.

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rock_chica
posted a quote
October 20, 2013 2:30am UTC

Why do we need Valentine's Day?
If couples truly love each other
Then they will bring home things for their loved one
And take them out to fancy restaurants
As a surprise, when they want to make each other happy
And not because they have to look good for Valentine's Day.
Why do we need Valentine's Day?
Just a day to show that you really love your partner
But you can show that any day.
Really, it's not hard.

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8r3ak_away
posted a quote
July 25, 2013 11:47pm UTC

I hate when people see me at a restaurant and
are like:
HEY, what are you doing here?!
Oh, you know, hunting elephants

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smileschangepeople
posted a quote
July 22, 2013 9:58pm UTC

Me at a restaurant
Me : I'll have Pepsi.
Waiter: Is Coke okay?
What I want to say: NO. BRING ME PEPSI OR I WILL BRING DOZENS OF PLAGUES UPON YOUR GENERATION
What I do say: Sure.

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addictedtonutella
posted a quote
July 2, 2013 8:49pm UTC

Me: *walking into a restaurant*
Waiter: Would you like a table?
Me: No b.itch. I'll just eat on the floor

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neyloveschuuu
posted a quote
June 27, 2013 3:18pm UTC

That annoying moment
in a restaurant when you get
excited to see your food coming,
but the waiter drops it off at
another table.

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IfILoseMyself
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 5:22pm UTC

Me: Hi table for two?
Waiter: Okay if you and your laptop want to follow me.

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theinfinitejar
posted a quote
June 15, 2013 3:55am UTC

This is what happens when my family eats out with my friends.
Waitress: *puts bill down on the table next to my friend's dad*
Friend's Dad: I'll pay it! *picks bill up*
My Dad: No! I'll pay it! *grabs bill from friend's dad*
Friend's Dad: What are you talking about? *reaches for bill* Let me pay it!
My Mom: Hey! We're going to--
Friend's Mom: No, we'll handle it! *snatches bill from my dad*
Friend #2's Mom: Stop fighting and give it to us! *lunges for the bill*
Friend's Mom: HEY! I had it already! *engages in epic tug-of-war battle*
Friend #2's Mom: Ha! *wrestles bill away*
Waitress: *awkwardly leaves*
My Dad: I GOT IT! *somehow gets bill and starts taking credit card out*
Friend's Mom and Friend #2's Mom: GIVE IT TO ME! *both get their hands on the bill and start pulling in opposite directions*
My Dad: STOP IT I'M TRYING TO SIGN IT!
Friend #2's Dad: Why don't we just split the bill?
My Mom: ARE YOU CRAZY WE'RE PAYING IT!
Friend's Dad: I thought we agreed that WE would pay for it!
Friend #2's Mom: I HAVE IT *takes out pen*
Friend's Dad: *quickly swipes it from her hands*
Friend #2's Mom: Wait I WAS IN THE MIDDLE OF MY SIGNA--
Friend's Dad: *runs toward the checkout counter*
All Parents: WAIT NO
All Parents: COME BACK HERE WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING
Kids: .............

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glitter162*
posted a quote
May 26, 2013 7:23pm UTC

I got kicked out of Chuck E.
Cheeses. Apparantly, it is frowned upon to dress up in a giant mouse costume, crawl under a table, and grab kids' legs shouting: "If you want to see your precious little mouse again, give me all your arcade tickets!"
The lava lamp was worth it, though.

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SalemSoto
posted a quote
May 1, 2013 7:01pm UTC

Would you like a table?
"No I came here to eat on the floor,carpet for 5 please"

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nathaliee_xo
posted a quote
April 27, 2013 10:09pm UTC

if no one makes a fancy asian restaurant
calles 'suit and thai' than i give up on life

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LeaBia14
posted a quote
April 6, 2013 6:22am UTC

That moment of joy when you see your food coming at a restaurant

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converse97
posted a quote
February 26, 2013 3:44pm UTC

waiter: can i take your order
teacher: i don't know can you

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doublesidedice
posted a quote
February 10, 2013 4:15pm UTC

Today I went to a restraint.
The waiter asked me what college I go to.
My dad told him I was in 8 grade and his voice broke...
I almost laughed in his face. Me? In college?
Why would he flirt with me too?
There were so many girls that were wayy prettier than me....
O.o

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eliseledoux81xo
posted a quote
February 1, 2013 8:11pm UTC

I was at a Chinese restaurant yesterday and some lady decided to take her dentures out,
It was my mother. -.-

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yourcool
posted a quote
January 30, 2013 12:17pm UTC

waiter: have i kept you waiting long?
me: no, but did you know that there are 3,269 tiles on the ceiling?

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*Into the Midnight Show*
posted a quote
January 27, 2013 6:59pm UTC

*when I was at McDonalds*
Some Guy- Do you Speak English?
Me (In English)- No, I am so sorry.
Guy- oh What a shame.....
(-_-) This is so pathetic

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Restaurant Quotes