scrappy posted a quote
September 20, 2020 6:30pm UTC
I thought I had worth, but according to literally everyone else... I don’t. All of my boyfriends’ parents hated me and made or wanted them to break up with me. My school teachers expected nothing or the worst from me. My co-workers complain about me in general and me isolating myself, but when I try to connect they push me away. It seems like no matter what I do, I am never enough. What is wrong with me? I would give the shirt off my back for someone. I would be there for them no matter what. I would support them, even if their opinions and decisions didn’t match mine. I would fight for them, and stick up for them. I would genuinely care about their thoughts and feelings. I would do damn near anything for them; for a good friend. But I’d never get any of that back. I never have. Like everyone has apparently been trying to tell me my entire life, I just have no worth. I am disposable. I am a burden and weirdo. Why am I here ? Why was I given life when I have no one who cares enough to share it with ? What’s the point ?
tornedsoul* posted a quote
December 19, 2019 1:20pm UTC
“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”
22 December 2018 I imagined my mind knowing better felt my viscera quiver. the birds get startled into flight though always round-trip. it’s good to be home alone not that you would if I had anything to do about it but we make do. life sucks its thumb. you’re right where you’re meant to be. who’s to say blankets aren’t party dresses or that eyes can only wet in one way. gloveless in this eventide chill. luckily we aren’t parting thickets for interstices for clarity. I empathise with the trees that bend out of light’s way at least till rough limbs creep up gently against glass they refuse to crack. dirty bedroom window remains so. it treasures the head that rested on it oil and all pondering the ease with which we dance around naked intention. show me it’s possible to live and for quite a while without flowering a new wound. how lovely we are in our natural state. taste of raw tongue on my tongue waves fragile at our feet. we stay dipped long enough for our digits to grow old shrivel without fear. something once felt too cruel to endure. I would not have chosen to float if given the option. but now i’ll swim.
"Puddles and Ponds" 8/17/18 10:45pm Salty water has never fallen so fast, creating puddles into ponds. Her smile breaks to a frown, she wonders, "Where'd it go wrong?" He spoke the words she didn't think he'd speak so soon. Time stops, her breath drops, her heart flatlines. Those glorious ponds turn into an ocean. No more land to walk on, only to swim in. How salty this water is, is shriveling her inside and out. Oh, how much she can't wait to bring that lovely smile she once had, the one she didn't need to show in a while. She dives in head first, hits a rock and knocks out unconscious. Regains, remembers...restarts T'was that special thing we have nowadays. Something people nowadays "can't live without". No, not a beating heart, No, not a living person, But a charged cellphone. It makes sense, y'know? Cuz of the distance? And then my situation? It makes sense. I'd understand...Kind of. The clouds move carelessly, letting the Sun breathe upon us once again. The ocean is evaporating immensely, ponds are decreasing, puddles are becoming wetless. But the weather's forecast said, "We'll be back later tonight To keep you updated over the weather that'll be back as well" ~WIGBM
Canadian Babe❤ 3:52 PM (Name) i love you and i think about you every second of the day waiting for the moments i get to talk to you i get anxious for the time i know you'll be back or when you'll be able to talk. I can't fill a void in my heart especially if its you thats in my heart. Those 5 days were rough and hard to deal with because i didnt know what i did wrong and i just wanted closure that i never got so i got mad and annoyed which led me to saying "im used to it" which i wasnt. These 5 days i wanted to tell you everything and was waiting for the times i was able to talk to you and unfortunately that was 15min before i had to give my phone in which sucked even more because all i wanted to do was talk to my girlfriend and tell her how everything is going even tho she doesn't understand anything i say when it's about hockey
Today we had another argument. He thinks I'm just jealous because of his friend/girlfriend or whatever. But I'm just scared he'll do the same thing my "best friend" did, as soon as he had a girlfriend he just stopped talking to me. I'm so scared to lose him. At the same time I'm mad at myself for letting him in in the first place. I really need to stop letting people in. After the argument I cried for an hour. & then he called me as if it was nothing venting about his problem. If he doesn't want to be with me, why would he always come venting to me? Why would he say that he'd do anything for me? Why would he give me a car? Why would he call me back instantly, when I hung up on him? I just couldn't bear to lose him. I need him in my life. But I need to stop driving him away with my insecurities. :/
Me 12:09 AM but i feel myself falling for him more and more every text i get, besides the ones that p*ss me off Fluffy marshmallow 12:09 AM Ummm ok I can't relate Me 12:10 AM oof Fluffy marshmallow 12:12 AM But like how can u fall for him more tho Me 12:13 AM oh its very possible Me 12:14 AM you learn more things and youre just like "i f*cking love you what the f*ck" its hard to explain...i cant really express how i feel for him in words Fluffy marshmallow 12:14 AM How tho Me 12:17 AM like i said, i cant describe it lmao 6/12/18
6.10.18 Me 12:23 AM its just hard to believe it's only been a flippin month Canadian Babe❤ 12:24 AM how long does it feel like Me 12:25 AM more than 1 month..maybe just a few more? Me 12:25 AM but i know we only started talking again back in april so Canadian Babe❤ 12:25 AM yea Me 12:26 AM ah thats so weird Canadian Babe❤ 12:26 AM how Me 12:33 AM i had a crush on you a year ago. We barely talked, but i still knew i liked you. One sudden day, we're both on and talking again and you tell me you like me, i couldn't believe it. I take it as a joke, so i wont get hurt. You weren't kdding and i felt bad..i was scared too..i tell gayatri everything from the year before and to now, because i didnt know who else to tell.. My virtual childhood crush is my real life boyfriend today. Still never met him irl, but its pretty weird and amazing at the same time Canadian Babe❤ 12:34 AM u know if u woulda told me a year ago couldve been sooner Me 12:37 AM yeahhhhhhhh but yknow telling you i liked you online, was like the same thing as me telling someone i liked them in person. i was scared
Canadian Babe❤ 12:00 AM Dear(my name), This past month has been the best month of my life and i wouldn’t wanna spend this 1 month with anyone else💜You literally make everyday better when i’m talking to you because you make me the happiest person. It kills me that i cant be with you in person everyday because all i want to do is to be able to kiss you and be with you everyday😘 There is no one in the world id rather be with over you because you are the most amazing, beautiful, caring, funny, cutest girl in the world. Being able to call you mine is the best thing in the world because you make everything better. You are the one person I go to talk to if i’m ever feeling down because I know you would give your honest opinion about everything. I cant not talk to you for like more than an hour because id probs go insane. Basically I’m saying is that I need you in my life because life without you wouldn’t be the same. We’ve been through ups and downs in our relationship and it’s normal to fight because we’re not always gonna get along although i wish we did. So che posso essere molto testardo e vago quando parliamo di come mi sento, ma alla fine ti dirò tutto proprio come se fossi in grado di parlarti delle mie cicatrici. Mi ci vuole solo del tempo per aprirmi su quella roba.(I know i can be very stubborn and vague when it come to talking about how i feel but eventually i will tell you everything just like was able to tell you about my s. It just takes time for me to open up about that stuff) One day i really hope we will be to meet so that you can see me play hockey so i can smile at you every time i score a goal and so you can wear my jersey. Anyways im ranting now just so i can make it longer so im gonna stop now😂 Je t’aime tellement ( i love you a lot) A tous les jours je réveille excité de parler a toi toute la journée❤️ (everyday i wake up excited to talk to you all day) Sei mio per sempre (you are my forever). J’espère que on peut être ensemble pour un longtemps parce que je ne sais pas quoi faire sans vous💓🔒(i hope we will be together for a longtime because i dont know what i’d do without you) J’aimerais être avec toi pour cette journée mais c’est correcte🙁🙂 (i’d love to spend the day with you but its okay). Ce mois passé a été le meilleur mois de ma vie et je t'aime tellement pour ça❤️(this past month has been the best month of my life and i love you so much for that) Happy 1 Month I love you❤️❤️ 6/10/18 12:00 am
6/1/18 7:49pm No, don't tell me I'm lying. I promised I was better. I promised I changed. Don't tell me I'm going back to my old self, don't tell me I'm going back to what I used to do that wasn't good for me. Don't tell me I'm lying. I promised I was better. I promised I changed!!! I thought I was okay... Am I not?
"Istg if you're messing with me" .... "i'm not, but we can pretend like i am" .... "no, our friendship and your life isn't a joke to me, so i'm not going to pretend." please, let it be a joke. If it is, i'd be relieved, but also terrified asf. I can't handle something like this. You have no idea how much you mean to me.
4/29-30/18 x 5/31-6/1/18 6.1.18 I had another breakdown at 12:22am 6/1/18 but it wasn't because of him, it was because of you. I know i was playfully mad at you, or even jealous, just for leaving me. But i'll never forgive myself if you actually leave. It's 10:55am, same day and i still have the tear stains from 8 to 10 hours ago. They're being covered and more are joining right now.. Heck, friends or not, I love you. Don't go... Please fight, fight for her, fight for me, fight for yourself, fight for anyone, fight for your life, Please. You don't deserve this. No one deserves that. We only knew each other for a month, but so much has happened. We were able to trust each other. I trusted you with everything i said. I trusted you to tell me anything and everything. Telling me when you say you're good but you're actually not... That hit. That hit hard. How could i not know better? Telling me that i may not see you again, i wish our last conversation wasn't that! God, don't let that be the last time we conversate!!!! I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE REPLACEABLE, I DON'T WANT TO REPLACE YOU. YOU'RE IRREPLACEABLE, to me at least... "You're an amazing girl (name), don't let any d*ck tell you otherwise, ok?" "i know better than to listen to them" I couldn't delete that conversation... I won't ever forget you... Please stay.. Do you know how hard it is to type all of these without being able to see the keyboard clearly? Thank you for being my best friend, you'll always be my best friend. I'll always love you. Please don't let that time be the last time we conversate.