Something unexpected happened last night. I'd be lying if I said that I never fantasized about it happening, I just didn't think it would actually come to fruistion. But it did happen, and it felt like I was in an early 2000's romcom. Or that elevator scene between Jess and Nick in "New Girl". Same thing right? I feel good about this. While I do have some worries, he doesn't seem like the type of guy to lead someone on. I want to take things slow, I know how I am when things start to go too fast. Moving forward with this situation, I want to make sure I don't compromise my boundries and stay true to myself. I also want to be comfortable enought with each other to communicate what we want and not feel weird asking for something we need from the other. I do hope this leads to some sort of commitment down the road, because I really want that stability. I want to be seen with him, go on dates, get to know each other, make plans or trips, and whatever else we decide.
Failure* posted a quote
September 10, 2021 5:01pm UTC
This is not how I thought my life would look like. I know i could go to you, make thousand of promises, but would the outcome be any different? I don't want to hurt you anymore. I hate to let you go. I love you.
scrappy posted a quote
September 20, 2020 6:30pm UTC
I thought I had worth, but according to literally everyone else... I don’t. All of my boyfriends’ parents hated me and made or wanted them to break up with me. My school teachers expected nothing or the worst from me. My co-workers complain about me in general and me isolating myself, but when I try to connect they push me away. It seems like no matter what I do, I am never enough. What is wrong with me? I would give the shirt off my back for someone. I would be there for them no matter what. I would support them, even if their opinions and decisions didn’t match mine. I would fight for them, and stick up for them. I would genuinely care about their thoughts and feelings. I would do damn near anything for them; for a good friend. But I’d never get any of that back. I never have. Like everyone has apparently been trying to tell me my entire life, I just have no worth. I am disposable. I am a burden and weirdo. Why am I here ? Why was I given life when I have no one who cares enough to share it with ? What’s the point ?
tornedsoul* posted a quote
December 19, 2019 1:20pm UTC
“Sometimes you meet someone, and it’s so clear that the two of you, on some level belong together. As lovers, or as friends, or as family, or as something entirely different. You just work, whether you understand one another or you’re in love or you’re partners in crime. You meet these people throughout your life, out of nowhere, under the strangest circumstances, and they help you feel alive. I don’t know if that makes me believe in coincidence, or fate, or sheer blind luck, but it definitely makes me believe in something.”
22 December 2018 I imagined my mind knowing better felt my viscera quiver. the birds get startled into flight though always round-trip. it’s good to be home alone not that you would if I had anything to do about it but we make do. life sucks its thumb. you’re right where you’re meant to be. who’s to say blankets aren’t party dresses or that eyes can only wet in one way. gloveless in this eventide chill. luckily we aren’t parting thickets for interstices for clarity. I empathise with the trees that bend out of light’s way at least till rough limbs creep up gently against glass they refuse to crack. dirty bedroom window remains so. it treasures the head that rested on it oil and all pondering the ease with which we dance around naked intention. show me it’s possible to live and for quite a while without flowering a new wound. how lovely we are in our natural state. taste of raw tongue on my tongue waves fragile at our feet. we stay dipped long enough for our digits to grow old shrivel without fear. something once felt too cruel to endure. I would not have chosen to float if given the option. but now i’ll swim.
"Puddles and Ponds" 8/17/18 10:45pm Salty water has never fallen so fast, creating puddles into ponds. Her smile breaks to a frown, she wonders, "Where'd it go wrong?" He spoke the words she didn't think he'd speak so soon. Time stops, her breath drops, her heart flatlines. Those glorious ponds turn into an ocean. No more land to walk on, only to swim in. How salty this water is, is shriveling her inside and out. Oh, how much she can't wait to bring that lovely smile she once had, the one she didn't need to show in a while. She dives in head first, hits a rock and knocks out unconscious. Regains, remembers...restarts T'was that special thing we have nowadays. Something people nowadays "can't live without". No, not a beating heart, No, not a living person, But a charged cellphone. It makes sense, y'know? Cuz of the distance? And then my situation? It makes sense. I'd understand...Kind of. The clouds move carelessly, letting the Sun breathe upon us once again. The ocean is evaporating immensely, ponds are decreasing, puddles are becoming wetless. But the weather's forecast said, "We'll be back later tonight To keep you updated over the weather that'll be back as well" ~WIGBM
Canadian Babe❤ 3:52 PM (Name) i love you and i think about you every second of the day waiting for the moments i get to talk to you i get anxious for the time i know you'll be back or when you'll be able to talk. I can't fill a void in my heart especially if its you thats in my heart. Those 5 days were rough and hard to deal with because i didnt know what i did wrong and i just wanted closure that i never got so i got mad and annoyed which led me to saying "im used to it" which i wasnt. These 5 days i wanted to tell you everything and was waiting for the times i was able to talk to you and unfortunately that was 15min before i had to give my phone in which sucked even more because all i wanted to do was talk to my girlfriend and tell her how everything is going even tho she doesn't understand anything i say when it's about hockey
Today we had another argument. He thinks I'm just jealous because of his friend/girlfriend or whatever. But I'm just scared he'll do the same thing my "best friend" did, as soon as he had a girlfriend he just stopped talking to me. I'm so scared to lose him. At the same time I'm mad at myself for letting him in in the first place. I really need to stop letting people in. After the argument I cried for an hour. & then he called me as if it was nothing venting about his problem. If he doesn't want to be with me, why would he always come venting to me? Why would he say that he'd do anything for me? Why would he give me a car? Why would he call me back instantly, when I hung up on him? I just couldn't bear to lose him. I need him in my life. But I need to stop driving him away with my insecurities. :/
Me 12:09 AM but i feel myself falling for him more and more every text i get, besides the ones that p*ss me off Fluffy marshmallow 12:09 AM Ummm ok I can't relate Me 12:10 AM oof Fluffy marshmallow 12:12 AM But like how can u fall for him more tho Me 12:13 AM oh its very possible Me 12:14 AM you learn more things and youre just like "i f*cking love you what the f*ck" its hard to explain...i cant really express how i feel for him in words Fluffy marshmallow 12:14 AM How tho Me 12:17 AM like i said, i cant describe it lmao 6/12/18
6.10.18 Me 12:23 AM its just hard to believe it's only been a flippin month Canadian Babe❤ 12:24 AM how long does it feel like Me 12:25 AM more than 1 month..maybe just a few more? Me 12:25 AM but i know we only started talking again back in april so Canadian Babe❤ 12:25 AM yea Me 12:26 AM ah thats so weird Canadian Babe❤ 12:26 AM how Me 12:33 AM i had a crush on you a year ago. We barely talked, but i still knew i liked you. One sudden day, we're both on and talking again and you tell me you like me, i couldn't believe it. I take it as a joke, so i wont get hurt. You weren't kdding and i felt bad..i was scared too..i tell gayatri everything from the year before and to now, because i didnt know who else to tell.. My virtual childhood crush is my real life boyfriend today. Still never met him irl, but its pretty weird and amazing at the same time Canadian Babe❤ 12:34 AM u know if u woulda told me a year ago couldve been sooner Me 12:37 AM yeahhhhhhhh but yknow telling you i liked you online, was like the same thing as me telling someone i liked them in person. i was scared