*Today in the shower*
Me: I wanna be drunk when I wake up, on the right side of the wrong bed.
Me: Wow, that sounded good. Maybe I should try a different song.
Me: Carry oooooon, carry on carry on. Oooooooooooh ooooooooooooh.
Me: Okay, yeah. I'm doin' good. I can sing. Why haven't I gotten a record label yet?
*le mom knocks on the door*
Mom: Have you seen the cat?
Me: Yeah, she's sitting on the windowsill in here.
Mom: Oh, is she okay?
Me: Yeah, she's just sitting there. Why?
Mom: Oh, it just sounded like a dying cat in there.