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Best Random Quotes This Year

  1. Hale_Storm18 Hale_Storm18
    posted a quote
    February 7, 2013 9:31pm UTC
    Virginity is like a pencil. Once you give it to someone,
    you're not getting it back.

  2. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 25, 2013 6:50pm UTC
    "If there are any idiots in the room,
    please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one student rose to his feet. "Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."

  3. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    May 31, 2013 4:16pm UTC
    "Don't worry, there's plenty of fish in the sea!"
    So wait, are you suggesting that I am such a boy repellent that the only species I have a chance with is fish?? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING

  4. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    March 15, 2013 5:16pm UTC
    Are you totally NOT Witty famous
    but still want that 1000 notifications you've always dreamed of? Well here's a super simple way to get those 1000 notifications!
    Pay attention to these directions! They get confusing!
    Step 1: Have alot of free time
    Step 2: Make 1000 quotes
    Step 3: Favorite your 1000 quotes you just created
    There's your 1000 notifications! No need to thank me, I know i am brilliant. (:

  5. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    July 1, 2013 7:47pm UTC
    Me: *Reading a book*
    Person: What are you reading?
    Me: *holds up book while continuing to read*
    Person: Oh yeah, I read that book! Did you get to the part where ________ dies?
    Me: WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU DONE

  6. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 18, 2013 3:45pm UTC
    Person in real life telling a joke: What's spaghetti’s favorite punctuation mark?Apastarophe!
    Me: Just no you're not funny stop
    Person on witty telling a joke: What's spaghetti’s favorite punctuation mark? Apastarophe!
    Me: BAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. God i love this site!

  7. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 5:16pm UTC
    If websites were teenaged classmates:
    Tumblr: The creative computer genius/blogger who everyone is jealous of. Most people copy her work.
    Twitter and Facebook: Brother and sister, they are the drama king and queen of the school. They will tell anyone who will listen about whatever is going on in their lives. They are known for announcing their statuses at the top of their lungs. They are addicted to their iPhones.
    Youtube: A movie making expert who is famous throughout the school. This tech-geek is well-liked and his movies have gone viral.
    MySpace: The lonely girl who sits in the back of the class. She knows what it's like to be popular, but unfortunately, she has been long forgotten. No one really knows why she's even there anymore...
    Witty: The group of mentally crazy teenage girls. They sit on top of desks in the back of the room in messed-up messy buns, and sweatpants eating jars of Nutella and watching cat videos on their phones and telling jokes before laughing like donkeys and falling off of desks. To escape the awkward moment, they joke slowly out the door (jogging for 27 seconds before becoming too tired) to be married to One Direction and Ed Sheeran. Sadly, they both decline their requests for marriage, and they socially awkward Wittians stumble away to the animal shelter to buy as many cats as they like before flying into the grocery store to buy more Nutella. They want to buy clothing too, however they walk away in shame after seeing the price tags on the items.

  8. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    September 29, 2013 3:44pm UTC
    Looks like Billy Ray put
    too much loco in Miley's hot cocoa

  9. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    September 21, 2013 2:11pm UTC
    Me: *misses TV episode*
    Episode: *never played again*
    Me: *watches TV episode*
    Episode: *played 1000 times*

  10. happiest* happiest*
    posted a quote
    October 3, 2013 2:27pm UTC
    Here government have a snickers you tend to shut down when you’re hungry

  11. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 27, 2013 4:53pm UTC
    Perks of not having a thigh gap:
    When food falls in your lap, you can actually catch it.

  12. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    May 25, 2013 2:19pm UTC
    Are you a zombie?
    Because you're dead to me.

  13. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 21, 2013 4:22pm UTC
    Earth: I'm so hardcore

  14. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2013 7:28pm UTC
    I just realized why they call it
    "The mall". Instead of going to one store, you go to "them all". Them all = The mall.
    Clever...

  15. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 27, 2013 4:05pm UTC
    Sometimes I wonder how many
    miles I've scrolled my cursor...

  16. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 17, 2013 12:54pm UTC
    When I discover a new Youtuber
    I either watch only one of their videos or watch all of their videos there is no inbetween

  17. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2013 7:17pm UTC
    I have always secretly wanted
    to pull the fire alarm at school.

  18. sophsunflower12 sophsunflower12
    posted a quote
    March 26, 2013 5:40pm UTC
    it's March. someone please enlighten me
    as to why there's still snow on the ground.

  19. ThatWeirdGirl* ThatWeirdGirl*
    posted a quote
    February 13, 2013 5:59pm UTC
    R.I.P
    TO ALL THE VIRGINITIES THAT WILL BE LOST TOMORROW

  20. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    July 6, 2013 9:05pm UTC
    My comebacks include: "haha learn to spell" "whatever" "lol like i care" and "oh yeah well listen here you little sh/t i friCKIN DOWNLOADED RADIOACTIVE BY IMAGINE DRAGONE BEFORE IT CAME POPULAR ON THE RADIO OK"

:)

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