"If there are any idiots in the room, please stand up," said the sarcastic teacher. After a long silence, one student rose to his feet. "Now then, why do you consider yourself an idiot?" enquired the teacher with a sneer. "Well, actually I don't," said the student, "but I hate to see you standing up there all by yourself."
kristabff posted a quote
March 15, 2013 5:16pm UTC
Are you totally NOT Witty famous but still want that 1000 notifications you've always dreamed of? Well here's a super simple way to get those 1000 notifications! Pay attention to these directions! They get confusing! Step 1: Have alot of free time Step 2: Make 1000 quotes Step 3: Favorite your 1000 quotes you just created There's your 1000 notifications! No need to thank me, I know i am brilliant. (:
Me: *Reading a book* Person: What are you reading? Me: *holds up book while continuing to read* Person: Oh yeah, I read that book! Did you get to the part where ________ dies? Me: WHAT THE F*CK HAVE YOU DONE
Person in real life telling a joke: What's spaghetti’s favorite punctuation mark?Apastarophe! Me: Just no you're not funny stop Person on witty telling a joke: What's spaghetti’s favorite punctuation mark? Apastarophe! Me: BAHAHAHHAHAHHAHA. God i love this site!
If websites were teenaged classmates: Tumblr: The creative computer genius/blogger who everyone is jealous of. Most people copy her work. Twitter and Facebook: Brother and sister, they are the drama king and queen of the school. They will tell anyone who will listen about whatever is going on in their lives. They are known for announcing their statuses at the top of their lungs. They are addicted to their iPhones. Youtube: A movie making expert who is famous throughout the school. This tech-geek is well-liked and his movies have gone viral. MySpace: The lonely girl who sits in the back of the class. She knows what it's like to be popular, but unfortunately, she has been long forgotten. No one really knows why she's even there anymore... Witty: The group of mentally crazy teenage girls. They sit on top of desks in the back of the room in messed-up messy buns, and sweatpants eating jars of Nutella and watching cat videos on their phones and telling jokes before laughing like donkeys and falling off of desks. To escape the awkward moment, they joke slowly out the door (jogging for 27 seconds before becoming too tired) to be married to One Direction and Ed Sheeran. Sadly, they both decline their requests for marriage, and they socially awkward Wittians stumble away to the animal shelter to buy as many cats as they like before flying into the grocery store to buy more Nutella. They want to buy clothing too, however they walk away in shame after seeing the price tags on the items.
My comebacks include: "haha learn to spell" "whatever" "lol like i care" and "oh yeah well listen here you little sh/t i friCKIN DOWNLOADED RADIOACTIVE BY IMAGINE DRAGONE BEFORE IT CAME POPULAR ON THE RADIO OK"