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Omnomnom Quotes

  1. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    April 10, 2014 8:43pm UTC
    Reasons to date me:
    1) Sometimes I'm funny
    2) You'll never go hungry because I always have food
    3) That's pretty much it

  2. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    March 8, 2014 12:56am UTC
    Things I look for in a soulmate:
    1) He has to be taller than me
    2) You have to be able to match me in an eating contest
    3) That's pretty much it

  3. SayNoToGnomes SayNoToGnomes
    posted a quote
    January 1, 2014 8:19am UTC
    Crisp packet: perfect for sharing! Me: yeah, with my digestive system...

  4. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    December 9, 2013 3:32pm UTC
    I'd like to open an all you can eat restaurant
    but just give people one serving and tell them that's all they can eat

  5. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    November 22, 2013 4:40pm UTC
    Not to get technical,
    but according to chemistry, alcohol is a solution

  6. *silvergirl* *silvergirl*
    posted a quote
    November 3, 2013 2:16am UTC
    Maybe when it's all over
    and she can finally love herself
    she will see how she really was worth it

  7. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    September 29, 2013 4:35pm UTC
    If you were a fruit
    you'd be a fineapple

  8. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    September 11, 2013 12:53pm UTC
    Eat whatever you want,
    and if anyone tries to lecture you about your weight,
    eat them too.

  9. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    August 8, 2013 11:47pm UTC
    *Watches shark week*
    "The blue shark will eat until it throws up then continue eating"
    I think I've discovered my spirit animal

  10. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    August 1, 2013 1:07am UTC
    All I wanted was to eat the chicken
    that is smarter than other chickens
    and to absorb its power

  11. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    July 9, 2013 4:24pm UTC
    I will eat your baby
    carrots if you don't like them

  12. theWalrus theWalrus
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2013 6:26pm UTC
    *At the dentist*
    Dentist: You have a few kernels stuck in your teeth.
    Dentist: Did you have popcorn last night?
    What I say: Yea
    What I mean: I haven't had popcorn in months.
    What I think: Why can't I be eating popcorn right now?

  13. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 20, 2013 8:08pm UTC
    I wrote a song about a tortilla.
    Actually, it's more of a wrap.

  14. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 19, 2013 5:44pm UTC
    Parenting is eating a dirt
    covered banana your toddler serves to you and liking it to avoid a tantrum.

  15. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2013 3:32pm UTC
    Whoever snuck the "s" in "fast
    food" was a clever little bas/tard.

  16. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2013 7:13pm UTC
    Who knew that an average US
    prison meal is more nutritious than a public school one

  17. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2013 7:24pm UTC
    My yard is full of bear traps
    because I refuse to share my milkshakes.

  18. gravity_enemy gravity_enemy
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2013 7:19pm UTC
    When you know you can't take your eyes off the spider, because if you do, it will disappear and then like....come and eat you.

  19. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 18, 2013 2:05pm UTC
    When I hear myself eating crunchy
    food, I wonder if other people can hear it, too.

  20. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    May 10, 2013 6:08pm UTC
    I need to start eating healthy,
    but first I need to eat all the junk food in the house so it's not there to tempt me anymore.

:)

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