Tokyo — Lonely Night not the night where you lay in bed, missing /whoever/ but the night where the world sounds so quiet, that you open your window, feel the summer wind and look around at the street light, or the infinite amount of dark sky above you; and you feel it like you're all alone in this world
They get mad I keep on talkin' Nevermind I beg your pardon Guess I'm just too damn outspoken They can't take me anywhere Will I ever learn my lesson Try hard not to get arrested Guess I didn't get the message F' it I don't really care No Apologies - Empire Cast
I'm just the Man on the Balcony singing: "Nobody will ever Remember Me..." A Composer but never Composed, Singing the Symphonies of the Overdosed. a Composer, but Never Composed. Singing: "I only want what I can't Have"
I have screwed up 42% of my teenage life [ ] Kissed someone before dating [ ] Gotten a phone taken away at school [x] Gotten caught chewing gum [ ] Gotten caught cheating on a test Total so far: 1  Arrived late to class more than 5 times [x] Didn't do homework over 5 times [x ] Turned at least 2 projects in late  Missed school just because you felt like it [ ] Laughed so loud you got kicked out of class Total so far: 2 [tried] Got your mom, dad, sibiling, etc to get you out of school [x] Text people during class  Passed notes  Threw stuff across the room [x] Laughed at the teacher Total so far: 4 [x] Took pictures during school hours  Called someone during school hours [x] Listened to iPod, CD, etc during school hours Total so far: 6 [ ] Threw something at the teacher [ ] Went outside the classroom without permission [x] Broke the dress code [x] Failed a class [x] Ate food during class Total so far: 9 [ ] Been called the worst student [ ] Punished on a school trip because you behaved badly [x] Didn't take your stuff to school  Given a teacher the finger when they weren't looking Total so far: 10 [x] Faked your parents signature [x] Slept in class [x] Cursed at a teacher behind their back [x] Copied homework [ ] Got in trouble with the principal/vice principal/dean  Thrown food in the lunch room Total so far: 14 Multiply by 3 for a total. Post as "I have screwed up __ of my teenage life."
This world has taught me to always look at things with a critical eye- and to always be the distant one, in order to save yourself from being left behind to always put yourself first: because no one else will – and to always view things with a sense of humour, but to never take crap from anybody. This world has taught me to be the controlling one, to never be controlled – and to always smile, yes; but also have time to cry but to never cry in front of anyone, because that displays weakness and weakness is always wrong. This world has taught me that being vulnerable will get you nowhere, and let’s face it- sympathy is an extinct emotion, the mere traces of it left behind on the fake smiles on people’s faces because that is all that’s left of our materialistic world and everyone in it. This world has taught me that caring for anyone other than yourself is pointless because in the end you become the useless one. Yes, the world has taught me many things; but I can’t seem to learn my lesson.
Oh sh.t.... I just sent a really heartfelt, spontaneous poem to a guy that thinks I'm insane but I'm actually in love with him. I think I told him I was depressed and that I liked him. I let him in to see the darkest depths of my being and I'm so scared of how he'll react. It's two in the morning and I am sad and I just sent it to him so he won't read it for a while, but I just wanted someone to understand me, and to know me. I'm kinda nervous right now, meh
I hear all the time: "Don't say goodbye, because that means going away, and going away means forgetting." But not to me. Going away is spending my two-in-the-mornings writing melancholy letters to you for which I'll never buy stamps, no matter how true my words are. Going away is rewinding the memories twenty times over every time I lay in my bed to go to sleep, so I can play them over again and just maybe see where I went wrong. Going away is swearing that I don't care, but punctuating those two-in-the-morning letters with stabbed periods that dent the page anyway. Going away is not forgetting. Perhaps I needed a goodbye for that.
sometimes i think of angels and stars and i remember you when i know i shouldn't. you're supposed to be long gone from my memory by now. but once you fall in love with the night sky i'm not sure there's any way to turn back. it's hard to forget when pieces of you are set in constellations that will never change.