Witty Profiles

menu
sign in or join

Nooffence Quotes

  1. Repair Boy 🔥* Repair Boy 🔥*
    posted a quote
    September 26, 2014 10:08pm UTC
    Praying is hilarious
    Surely he knows what you want already?
    I just want to hear you say it! Beg!
    thats better,
    I'll think about it.
    ~Ricky Gervais

  2. Serendipity * Serendipity *
    posted a quote
    October 23, 2013 10:17am UTC
    Americans are people Europle didn't l i ke
    I g u e s s y o u c a n c a l l t h e m A m e r i c a n r e j e c t s...
    I m s o l a m e

  3. XxXjustsmileXxX XxXjustsmileXxX
    posted a quote
    October 19, 2013 2:10pm UTC
    Americans are people Europle didn't l i ke..
    I g u e s s y o u c a n c a l l t h e m A m e r i c a n r e j e c t s

  4. QoyotingGeet QoyotingGeet
    posted a quote
    October 11, 2013 8:21am UTC
    A cigaratte gives what it guarantees, unlike girls.

  5. anime_lover anime_lover
    posted a quote
    October 4, 2013 3:30pm UTC
    I mean no offence, it's only a joke
    What do you call a fat psychic?
    A four-chin teller

  6. anime_lover anime_lover
    posted a quote
    September 24, 2013 3:07pm UTC
    So, i was in school and this girl goes to my friend that she looks like a lesbian. It was the funniest thing ever seeing my friends reaction. I mean no offence to any lesbian or gays or bi's on this but her reaction was funny.
    Where i live, 'Bean' means lesbian. So the only thing i could think of to say was, "You're a coffee bean because everyone wants to 'grind you'. ;P

  7. SophieG_Is_A_Dragon_RAWR SophieG_Is_A_Dragon_RAWR
    posted a quote
    August 24, 2013 7:27am UTC
    DO YOU EVER WONDER WHAT A DYSLEXSIC SUPERHERO WOULD SAY FOR THEIR MASSIVE GROUP SUPER MOVE?
    IT WOULD BE AWESOME.
    DYSLEXICS
    ...
    UNTIE!!!
    ....
    WAIT.
    ...
    UNITE
    ...
    .....
    CLOSE ENOUGH
    ~♥~

  8. Butterbear Butterbear
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2013 6:45pm UTC
    HEY GUYS GUESS WHAT YOU'LL NEVER BELIEVE.
    I respect opinions. I know I know, I'm a rare breed of Wittian, It's cool.

  9. *silvergirl* *silvergirl*
    posted a quote
    July 4, 2013 11:57pm UTC
    When you are down think this:
    Satan's dingy of doom

  10. dolph* dolph*
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2013 2:03pm UTC
    friend: there's nothing worse than death
    me: final seasons
    me: post-concert depression
    me: when there's no food
    me: fictional characters dying
    me: hipsters
    me: your crush asks someone else out
    me: no wi-fi
    me: crocs
    me: auto play on witty user's profiles
    me: when po.rn appears on your screen randomly while someone is behind you
    me: flies
    me: bad grammar
    me: being ignored all your life
    me: you

  11. Dishonored* Dishonored*
    posted a quote
    June 4, 2013 6:47pm UTC
    50 state stereotypes:
    Alabama: Our state bird is the NASCAR.
    Alaska: I can see seasonal depression from here.
    Arizona: Keeping indians in and mexicans out.
    Arkansas: Great scenery and brilliant people.. haha I'm sorry, we got Walmart?
    California: Gay, mexican, boob-job, computer hippies who really want to direct.
    Colorado: Snow!.. I mean cocaine, but we're also known for skiing.
    Connecticut: Great schools... because there's nothing else to do.
    Delaware: Come, we got low incorporation fees.. No, seriously, please come.
    Florida: The more north you go, the more south it gets.
    Georgia: Atlanta! We're kinda ashamed of the rest of it though...
    Hawaii: If you lived here, you'd be lazy, too.
    Idaho: Potatoes and Napoleon Dynamite. Go we're cool.
    Illinois: Look! A non-corrupt politician for once.. so far.
    Indiana: You have to drive through us to get somewhere better.
    Iowa: 56,000 square miles of dull.
    Kansas: White breds making wheat bread.
    Kentucky: Farming from the furure, text books from 1925.
    Louisiana: Thanks BP, like we didn't have enough problems.
    Maine: A wicked lotta moose aye?
    Maryland: Have Jeevs bring the lobster boat around.
    Massachusetts: Our chief export is obnoxious Pats fans.
    Michigan: Cereal makers, serial killers.
    Minnesota: Too nice not to elect a douchey governer.
    Mississippi: I'm gonna need a bigger bible belt.
    Missouri: Number one! In.. meth.
    Montana: Speed limits don't matter when you're drunk.
    Nebraska: Footballs, drawls, and overalls.
    Nevada: No laws no problem.. Cept all the murders...
    New Hampshire: Half hippie, half french, all upper-class.
    New Jersey: Guidos. Turnpikes. Leeching off New York.
    New Mexico: Like regular Mexico, but with more UFO's.
    New York: World's 14th biggest city, first biggest ego.
    North Carolina: First in flight, and lung cancer.
    North Dakota: Somehow even worse than South Dakota.
    Ohio: People care about us at election time.
    Oklahoma: 10 days tornado free!
    Oregon: Dreadlocks on caucasians.
    Pennsylvania: Even our Amish will fight you.
    Rhode Island: No seriously, we're a state.
    South Carolina: Still accepting confederate dollars.
    South Dakota: ... At least we're not North Dakota...
    Tennessee: Where white-people music comes from.
    Texas: Everything is bigger... Even our morons.
    Utah: Multiple lonely wives.
    Vermont: Gay marriages on maple syrup farms.
    Virginia: From center of civilization to hicksville in 20 minutes flat.
    Washington: Richer hippies than Oregon.
    West Virginia: Inbred love child of Virginia and DC.
    Wisconsin: It's too cold to be sober.
    Wyoming: We don't have any gay cowboys, alright?!... Okay maybe a few gay cowboys.
    (my state is Pennsylvania, and it's dead-on.)

  12. awesomenessandahalf awesomenessandahalf
    posted a quote
    May 21, 2013 4:28pm UTC
    there are some real weirdos on witty during the day

  13. dinosaur_rawr dinosaur_rawr
    posted a quote
    April 19, 2013 6:38pm UTC
    What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?
    Church
    sorry if this offends anyone I just thought it was funny

  14. RingoStar RingoStar
    posted a quote
    April 2, 2013 8:10pm UTC
    when i said nuke the chinese,
    i meant put the take out in the microwave.

  15. IfILoseMyself IfILoseMyself
    posted a quote
    March 30, 2013 2:33pm UTC
    As long as you don't tell Mexican jokes.
    That's just crossing the border.

  16. sarahmarlowXxx sarahmarlowXxx
    posted a quote
    February 22, 2013 3:45pm UTC
    *grows flowers on you
    because you're dirt*

  17. Rainbow185 Rainbow185
    posted a quote
    February 22, 2013 10:08am UTC
    credit-kclove5layouts
    "No offence..."
    *Takes offence*
    Format by kclove5layouts

  18. sarbearthecarebear sarbearthecarebear
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2013 1:42pm UTC
    The most offence is taken when someone goes "No offence".

  19. sarbearthecarebear sarbearthecarebear
    posted a quote
    February 14, 2013 1:39pm UTC
    I still cannot get over the fact that he said this about me to my friend: Uh like um no offence but lyk uh she's not really my type i guess k so uh ya
    What is that supposed to mean! I love him..and that's what he says about me? Great..just great. I can't figure out why he said that. Why am I "Not his type"!? Like seriously, he really hurt my feelings. It made me feel horrible. I'm still pretty hurt from that. That's something that's hard to forget. It's all fun and games until someone goes "No offence".

  20. doublesidedice doublesidedice
    posted a quote
    January 27, 2013 11:38am UTC
    DON'T BE R@CIST!
    Be like MARIO.
    He's an Italian plumber
    Created by Japanese people,
    Who speaks English,
    And looks like a Mexican,
    ....jumps like a black man
    And grabs coins like a Jew.
    nmq (sorry if anyone is offended, none intended)

:)

Join · Top Quotes · New Quotes · Random · Chat · Add Quote · Rules · Privacy Policy · Terms of Use · Full Site
© 2003-2024 Witty Profiles