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Best Moms Quotes This Week

  1. CharliesTheName CharliesTheName
    posted a quote
    April 20, 2013 6:14pm UTC
    Mom: Charlie come downstairs for dinner.
    Me: Okay let me just log off of my computer.
    Mom: What?
    Me: I said I'll be down in a minute!
    Mom: Honey, I can't hear you. You need to speak up.
    Me: I SAID I WILL BE DOWNSTAIRS WHEN I GET OFF MY COMPUTER.
    Mom: DON'T YOU DARE USE THAT TONE OF VOICE WITH ME, YOUNG MAN.

  2. DeathOfASon DeathOfASon
    posted a quote
    July 2, 2013 2:09pm UTC
    this one time in 6th grade
    these three girls would bully me and call me a fallggot so instead of just taking it I put cigarettes in all of their purses and went to the counselor fake crying saying I was "worried about my friends dying of cancer" and they all got suspended and two of them got pulled out of school by their moms.

  3. kat16 kat16
    posted a quote
    July 10, 2013 5:32pm UTC
    Mom: WHO ARE YOU TEXTING?
    Me: MY CRACK DEALER

  4. HalleBerryHallelujah HalleBerryHallelujah
    posted a quote
    July 16, 2013 12:44pm UTC
    i wasn't aware
    That answering my mom's question was considered talking back.

  5. The Ukrainian Chick* The Ukrainian Chick*
    posted a quote
    September 10, 2013 5:40pm UTC
    ▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌
    So this one bully actually
    asked a nerd for his lunch
    money and the nerd replied with
    "Sorry, I must have left it on your moms dresser."
    my quote yo but nmf
    ▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌▌

  6. britany* britany*
    posted a quote
    May 16, 2013 8:49pm UTC
    Me: I'm Hungry
    Me: *Gets up and walks out of room*
    Me: *Hears my mom cleaning*
    Me: *Slowly backs up into my room again*

  7. bigbootycutiee_13 bigbootycutiee_13
    posted a quote
    April 7, 2013 7:27pm UTC
    one time my mom caught me eating pure sugar out of the jar, so she stopped & said, "would you like something even sweeter?' & of course little naive 6 year old me says 'yes yes I would!' so she said 'smell it first & then decide' and handed me a bottle of vanilla extract & of course it smelled like the tears of Jesus so i said YES gimme gimme & she let me take a huge swig & this is the main reason I have trust issues.

  8. NeverFadingBeauty* NeverFadingBeauty*
    posted a quote
    January 3, 2014 8:31am UTC
    Dreams can come true...
    If only your mom would let you sleep to the good part.

  9. lemon.cake* lemon.cake*
    posted a quote
    December 24, 2013 6:00pm UTC
    Never tell your mom that you are bored... unless you want to, do the dishes, do the laundry and vacuum the house.
    Format by Breeze

  10. barrina41 barrina41
    posted a quote
    January 5, 2014 6:19am UTC
    Mom: No, don't eat that Snickers bar, it's not good for you!
    When you come back from school
    Mom: Oh, how was school? *chewing on a snickers bar*
    Moms these days...

  11. Witty-Throwbacks* Witty-Throwbacks*
    posted a quote
    May 30, 2014 9:52pm UTC
    Me: Mom, I'm going out
    Mom: ...With friends?
    Me: No mom, with
    terrorist.

  12. Crazy girl* Crazy girl*
    posted a quote
    June 10, 2014 1:34pm UTC
    My mom likes to play this game called yell from 4 rooms away and get upset when I can’t hear her.

  13. *Freedom* *Freedom*
    posted a quote
    March 18, 2013 10:34pm UTC
    Since my mom doesn't understand english, she had this habit of saying yes. We went to the michigan border.
    ''5 Passengers?''
    ''Yes.''
    ''Where are you going, shopping?''
    ''Yes.''
    ''Alcohol or Tobacco?''
    ''Yes.''
    ''Weapons?''
    ''Yes.''
    ''Have you ever been to jail?''
    ''Yes.''
    ''For over 5 years?''
    ''Yes.''
    ''Ma'am, step outta the car.''
    ''Yes.''
    ''Ma'am.''
    ''Yes.''
    Then she wonders why she almost got arrested.

  14. Merlin Merlin
    posted a quote
    March 22, 2014 7:03am UTC
    Parenting - stereotypes
    White people:
    Kid: Shut the f/ck up mom!
    Mom: Alright, Alright. There's no need to get hostile.
    Black people:
    Kid: Shut the f/ck up mom!
    Mom: YOU MUST LOST YO GOD DAMN MIND! *gun in hand*

  15. Ambee Ambee
    posted a quote
    May 12, 2014 4:28pm UTC
    Me: breathes* My mom: You need to watch your attitude!

  16. Kaleidoscope Eyed* Kaleidoscope Eyed*
    posted a quote
    April 14, 2013 2:16am UTC
    *As my mom walks into the room*
    Me in my head: OMG SHUT OFF WITTY DELETE ANY HISTORY!!!!! DOUBLE CHECK TO SEE IF THERE IS ANYTHING WITTY RELATED LEFT!!!!!! IF SHE FINDS OUT ABOUT WITTY OR EVER BRINGS IT UP, RUN AND JUMP OVER THE COUCH TO RUN AWAY TO MY FRIENDS HOUSE TO LIVE WITH THEM AS THERE PET DOG TO NEVER BE SEEN AGAIN!!!!!! ALL IN TWO SECONDS!!!!!!! IM GONNA DIE!!!!!
    Me in super secret ninja swag mode: click. click. click. click. "hey mom"

  17. glitter162* glitter162*
    posted a quote
    December 28, 2014 4:54pm UTC
    Moms be like:
    THAT IS NOT HOW YOU LOAD THE DISHWASHER

  18. Marian* Marian*
    posted a quote
    September 3, 2013 9:15pm UTC
    my mom treat me like i'm the only fat person on the world, its like, mom i don't fuc.king care, just get over it.

  19. peek-a-boo* peek-a-boo*
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2013 10:45am UTC
    Mom can we go now?
    yeh just a sec
    *10minutes later
    MOM!!!!!!!

  20. Music_Is_Freedom Music_Is_Freedom
    posted a quote
    September 22, 2013 5:24pm UTC
    Mom: Let's put some facial mud on your face
    Me: Why not just let me roll my face around on the front lawn

:)

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