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Best Mine Quotes This Month

  1. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 21, 2013 2:14pm UTC
    A white m&m comes into a room with candy friends.
    White m&m: ~engages conversation with a mentos and jellybean~
    Jellybean: Hey so where are you from anyway, white m&m?
    White m&m: Oh I'm from that chocolate m&m bag over there!
    Jellybean: Wait... if you're from a CHOCOLATE m&m bag, then why are you white??
    Mentos: OH MY GOD JELLYBEAN, YOU CAN'T JUST ASK CANDIES WHY THEY'RE WHITE

  2. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 18, 2013 7:09pm UTC
    I don't get how people get abs?
    Seriously though, it's like, abnormal.

  3. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 13, 2013 6:56pm UTC
    I've always been confused
    how a race car on Mario Kart could flip over because it touches a banana.

  4. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 23, 2013 3:38pm UTC
    In computer class.
    Crush: How do you do this format stuff for the text omg? It's so complicated!
    Me (thinking): Oh yes this is my chance to talk to him!
    Me: Here, it's actually easy! Just do this: Open up an HTML Edit tab, open up a HTML Color tab, and also open up Microsoft Word if you want for the fonts! Now, you need to first start off with a code like this: <span style="font-family:tahoma,geneva,sans-serif;"><span style="font-size:44px; color: #00000"></span>. Right between the span thing and font size you put your text in! In the # thing, open the color tab and copy the code in! If you want spaces, put </br>. If you want letter spacing, use the letter spacing code: letter-spacing: -1px. Remember, negative numbers make your text more squished together! Also, if you want your text to have a shadow, do: text-shadow: 0px 0px 2px #000000! Oh, and then after you've got all that, you need to transfer the text by dragging it from your HTML Edit tab to the tab you want to put it on! But that's just the basics. Easy!
    Crush: ...what the

  5. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2013 5:11pm UTC
    What if this happened.
    Girl: ~does math homework in class~
    Girl: Omg i can't these problems!!
    Girl: It's sO HARD I CANT OMGG
    Girl: ~runs away crying in frustration~
    Teacher: What just happened miss
    Girls Friend: She ran away from her problems

  6. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 17, 2013 3:46pm UTC
    Me: ~tapes a cheetah to the back of the school clocks~

  7. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    September 22, 2013 12:35pm UTC
    Relax!
    Uh oh, there was an error when we tried to add a boyfriend to your life. Please try again.

  8. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 11, 2013 4:25pm UTC
    My life on Witty.
    Me: ~posts super funny quote that gets 5 favorites within 1 minute~
    Me: OH YES I'M GONNA BE ON THE TOP TODAY PAGE
    Popular Person: ~posts quote that says 'Hi'~
    Me: Damn it i have no chance against that quote

  9. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 12, 2013 7:04pm UTC
    They only care if your quote is pretty
    or says, 'This quote does not exist'.

  10. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    March 4, 2013 6:39pm UTC
    GUYS. I FIGURED OUT WHY WE ALL HAVE CAT OBSESSIONS.
    We obviously have friends because we share common interests, right? Well look at this great non-biased research:
    Cats: Sleeps all day, parties at night, eats, sleeps, not socialable, hides when people are near
    Teenage Girls On Witty: Sleeps all day, parties at night, sleeps, not socialable, hides when people are near
    I am a genius

  11. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    May 29, 2013 7:51pm UTC
    Why do some adults call children
    names like sweetie-pie or honey? What if instead of calling my mom 'mom' I called her potato salad or chicken noodle soup ohhh what now?

  12. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 26, 2013 3:13pm UTC
    Oh my god, I just hate this one girl!
    Please hear me out guys? Okay, so she's like, so annoying! I HATE her so much! She's always making me feel stupid and she always helps my grades go down by making me pay attention to her frickin problems! She's ALWAYS rambling on about unnessessary problems in her life, like can you SHUT UP NO ONE CARES. Good GOD. I hope she knows everyone wants her to die. I wish she would just fall off a cliff or something. Oh yeah, and she's so self centered! She thinks she's the most important subject of everything, like once I was talking about nails but NOPE she just has to BUTT IN and interrupt my comversation, like seriously?? UGH. JUST. FREAKING. DIE. ALREADY. OMFG. Trust me, if you knew her, you would say the same thing. But wait, you do know her, because her name is Math.

  13. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 26, 2013 4:36pm UTC
    This actually happened in science class today.
    Girl: ~talks loudly to her friends during a video on hurricanes~
    Woman Substitute Teacher: Excuse me but do i need to come sit next to you??
    Girl: No thank you i'm straight!!
    Oh my god.

  14. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    July 21, 2013 7:38pm UTC
    Person: Go to hell
    Me: Okay ~goes to school~

  15. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    February 17, 2013 6:26pm UTC
    Those horrible times when you have a cough attack at school.
    Me: *cough*
    Teacher: Alright class we will be doing so-
    Me: *COUGH COUGH*
    Teacher: some-
    Me: *COUGHHHHHHHHHHH HACK DIE*
    People: *giggle* *smirk*
    Teacher: Would you like to go to the water fountain
    Me: No its okay i'll just sit here and die while you teach

  16. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    July 7, 2013 9:30pm UTC
    In my bedroom at night.
    Me: ~is peacefully playing on my phone in my bed~
    Me: ~hears rustling outside of my closed door~
    Me: Uh....what's that....?!
    Zombie: ~bursts through door with giant axe~
    Me: AHHHHHH!!! OH MY GOD WTF AHHH!!!
    Me: Oh no wait, you're not my mom!! Haha, whew i was scared there for a second!! Imagine if you were my mom and she saw me playing on my phone this late! Hahahah sorry about that!

  17. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    June 3, 2013 3:15pm UTC
    Me: ~sees cat outside my door~
    Me: ~picks up cat and puts her on my bed~
    Me: So, how're you baby boo? ~pets cat~
    Cat: ~immediately jumps off bed and runs out of the room~
    REJECTED
    © format by: h0peful

  18. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    April 25, 2013 6:28pm UTC
    I'm so lazy
    I can't even finish this sen

  19. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    May 31, 2013 4:16pm UTC
    "Don't worry, there's plenty of fish in the sea!"
    So wait, are you suggesting that I am such a boy repellent that the only species I have a chance with is fish?? IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SAYING

  20. kristabff kristabff
    posted a quote
    July 28, 2013 5:16pm UTC
    Does anyone else start crying
    because they realize they aren't British and don't have any excuse to spell with a 'u' like in the word 'favourite' and you can't call your mom 'mum' and your life just sucks because bRITISHNESS EXISTS AND YOU'RE NOT BRITISH WHAT IS THIS WHY AM I AMERICAN WHY

:)

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