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  1. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    September 2, 2016 4:13pm UTC
    it hapened when I was young
    still developing as they call it
    so it's easy to take it as blame
    to take my trauma and name it
    my creator, my genisis
    because it has made me the strong woman I am
    today, right? made me survivor.
    made me miserable to be honest
    made me crazy. Made me say no
    to drinks and parties and men
    made me mad, made me vengeful
    made me the match to the gasoline
    the lade in the river, overflowing
    too much rain
    mostly it made me scared
    of dark and men and myself
    of power, of currency, of expectations
    broke me, really broke me
    and made me stand up without feet
    made me walk and run without feet
    made fun of me as I fell without feet
    until I walked, and then grew feet
    then made me strong. Made me survivor
    made me example of survivor
    good survivor
    I would have walked
    if I never lost my feet
    I would have been strong regardless
    there is no creator but myself
    I had to learn again
    to lose the mad and gain compassion
    to become the flower instead of the dager
    the smile instead of the punch
    but I got there regardless

  2. Aggressive Butterfly * Aggressive Butterfly *
    posted a quote
    August 26, 2016 10:41am UTC

  3. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    August 22, 2016 6:33am UTC
    it's been six weeks since I last saw you
    but this week you'll be with me
    for a very short time
    only to leave me again
    and I tried to get over this feeling
    of needing you while you don't
    need me
    I text my ex boyfriend and cancel the date
    last minute
    accepting that at least for now
    my heart is stuck with you
    so I google "how to be so good in bed
    so he won't leave"
    I get tips on how to give head
    not how to get in his head
    it will always be like this
    because my brain is a nomad
    but my heart settled while you
    are not that into me
    so I'll play the part
    of being available always
    and smiling for the scraps you give
    until your or my heart
    decide to change

  4. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2016 5:54am UTC
    When I was 18
    a guy of 23 told me that
    I couldn't know misery yet
    when I reached his age I'd know
    why you drink to forget
    He drunkenly held on to his pina colada
    and I got mad
    A friend told me that it's true
    that you change a lot in those years
    as I would have hoped because
    it would be sad to stay stagnant
    but I didn't count on this
    When I got 19 I've slept in some
    unfriendly bedrooms of unfriendly men
    I ran of abroad and told a boy
    that I'm the youngest girl alive
    in my head, cause I was
    he thought that was weird
    because he always felt old
    and he held me trying to sip up
    my youth
    I was on a plane with a man
    who told me my loud voice could indicate
    that I was uncertain about myself
    I said no, that's not an option, I just like
    being heard and don't worry,
    you didn't put me in a identity crisis
    because I'm only 20 and it's a state of mind
    keep on embracing that feeling
    and now I'm 21, I still lie in bed with boys
    who I won't marry with but who think
    that I am beautiful and I think I am
    And I'm still not clinging to pina colada's
    but I have two more years to catch a trauma
    that makes me so bitter that I stop trying
    and colour black insides
    with sweet liquor
    but until then, I'm drinking
    for nights to remember
    instead of forget

  5. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2016 5:34am UTC
    I do not remember all of what happened
    I see the bruizes , the marks that come
    and go and sometimes stay
    on my skin
    I do not remember where they came from
    the accidents, the pain, the glow
    all of it is lost on me
    so I torture my memory
    look for the years that have worn me down
    in this state of constant obivion
    to the suffering I have endured
    is it possible to become soft again
    covered in this hard skin?
    if day old scabs remind
    you of years old trauma
    is it possible to start over
    when your skin refuses to forget
    what your brain refuses to remmeber

  6. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2016 5:14am UTC
    Social media tells me
    that there has to be a lot going on
    while still standing still
    constantly moving forward
    and documenting that
    while drinking thee and doing yoga
    But I'm still writing poems
    with the soul purpose of getting laid
    and while my fitness progresses
    so does my waistline because
    I started feasting where I used to starve.
    there's a lot of loud going on in my life
    that I wish stayed quiet,
    wispered only to me
    I should be the queen of this technology
    but I feel more like a servant
    so I log out and check into my brain
    it's still there
    and that should be enough
    no hashtag encompasses this passion
    no picture captures this disire
    and that should be enough

  7. whatdoidoo whatdoidoo
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2016 1:48am UTC
    [01:38] <Guest9997> i feel alone
    [01:38] <Guest9997> even with the embrace of music
    [01:38] <Guest9997> it isn't as soft or warm as the embrace of a person
    [01:39] <Guest9997> i don't miss her, she wasn't good for me
    [01:39] <Guest9997> but i miss the cuddling
    [01:39] <Guest9997> and the cheering
    [01:39] <Guest9997> and the support
    [01:39] <Guest9997> and the closeness
    [01:40] <Guest9997> the concept of having a built in best friend and constant supporter at all times
    [01:40] <Guest9997> what a nice conept
    [01:41] <Guest9997> no one understands my depth, nor do they attempt to understand
    [01:41] <Guest9997> and because of it i am lonely

  8. whatdoidoo whatdoidoo
    posted a quote
    August 13, 2016 1:46am UTC
    [01:43] <Guest9997> why must i be so restless
    [01:43] <Guest9997> no amount of attention or love will calm me
    [01:43] <Guest9997> i have only myself to rely on
    [01:44] <Guest9997> and I am unreliable.

  9. whatdoidoo whatdoidoo
    posted a quote
    August 10, 2016 1:57am UTC
    a knife constantly lodged in my heart, creating this restlessness. i turn to the ones who love me and beg for their grip on the handle of this unforgiving weapon. they tug and tug, but to no avail the knife sits still. i will sit and wait to cross someone who can pull the knife out. when will i realize that i am the only one who can do it?

  10. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    July 8, 2016 12:26pm UTC
    I am sick of nuancing other peope's mistakes
    I don't care they had a bad day
    I don't feel like standing above the flames of frustration
    I let it consume me, from ashes to ashes
    there is no place here for external reflection
    The blazing arrows pointed at angry eyes looking at me
    soon to target everybody who's even closeà
    my rage undiscriminating, from dust to dust
    My anger powers the phoenix in me to rise
    the fire, consuming everything, has left me alone
    just like me, nobody coated themselves in compassion
    just like me they let the inferno roar

  11. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    July 6, 2016 5:10pm UTC
    This crazy is
    An ex lover,
    A neglectful parent,
    A small screaming child
    A little girl with nowhere to go
    A dissease
    An illness,
    A condition of the mind,
    A mindset,
    A flaw of carracter
    A cage I never tried to escape
    A shadow over all the rest,
    A blanket to cover up the fear
    A murder with no body
    A smell of rotten silence
    A place I left years ago,
    A past I forgot to forget,
    A meal eaten alone
    A dinner served cold
    A sick society,
    A sick calling from God,
    A brilliant novel,
    A poem

  12. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    July 6, 2016 5:09pm UTC
    I've read so much
    I have read too much
    they have written me a dessert
    they have written me an ocean
    but even when I'm standing in that mud
    somebody will write me a city or a forrest
    I can never be in one place anymore
    because I have read too much
    told me love would sweep me of my feet
    and carry me trough any situation
    told me love would leave
    told me love doesn't exist
    every person I meet is a persona
    I can't see faces anymore
    because I have read too much

  13. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    June 29, 2016 4:08pm UTC
    Show of your pages
    and I will read you like a book
    And I'll cry over your tragedy

  14. ᴏɴᴄᴇ-ᴜᴘᴏɴ-ᴀ-ᴍɪᴅsᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ-ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ* ᴏɴᴄᴇ-ᴜᴘᴏɴ-ᴀ-ᴍɪᴅsᴜᴍᴍᴇʀ-ᴍᴏʀɴɪɴɢ*
    posted a quote
    June 26, 2016 3:44pm UTC
    During the summer, there was a girl. I, however, was not responsible for anything that happened between us. She was the one who would talk about wanting to kiss me. She was the one who asked if I liked her. She was the one who curled into my side when we watched movies. My relationship with her didn't last—whether it existed at all could be debated—but the effect that it has on me endures. Maybe if it had lasted longer, I would have learnt her confidence.
    I could use it. I wish I had the courage to break this social protocol I constructed in my head and ask you to tea for me and whatever you want for you. Or the guts to take your phone and scare it with my selfies. Or maybe the insanity to reach for your hand.
    I promise I won't propose anything rash. We don't have to become a promise-ring-wearing, take-on-the-world-because-we-won't-fall duo. I'm not sure I'd want that. But what would be wrong with laying on the grass during the summer and alternating between reading excerpts of e.e.cummings and sharing bad puns? I know damn well that by now you've figured out that I'm secretly a romantic, but I have a suspicion that you are, too.
    But the one thing about two shy introverts is that nothing will ever happen if fate doesn't shove them together.

  15. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    June 23, 2016 11:55am UTC
    I made a house out of myself
    for you while I am a drifter
    by nature
    what if you don't like my new walls built for your comfort
    what if you don't think the funature is comfotatble
    or your taste, what if you're a nomad yourself
    and my insides stay empty
    they told me to never make a home of a person
    I never realised that others wouldn't dare to live in me aswel
    because it's scary that your roof may pack up themselves
    and leave
    No welcomemats and fireplaces can eliminate that fear
    if you show someone the low costs and nice garden
    they'll wonder why nobody else lives there before
    not realising that the house was only built for them
    when the nomad leaves
    the drifter has to realise being a house is not it's nature
    but I'll keep the door there
    in case you change your mind

  16. musicure musicure
    posted a quote
    June 18, 2016 4:45pm UTC
    I won't go
    I just wanna be your shadow

  17. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    June 14, 2016 8:44am UTC
    this paper is my shrink
    makes me confess my sins
    and the tragedies that came over me
    This is my written word rehab
    learning to let go of my addicion
    with my sadness and loneliness
    Learning to stand tall by meself
    exposed for others who want to
    read about my journey
    No I'm not happy, not proud
    not yet strong or brave or smart
    but it's a work in progress
    pretending is half the work
    until I get there I can be honest here
    about the fear of being unnoticed
    fear of being alone
    or unloved
    or me

  18. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    June 13, 2016 4:48pm UTC
    When our song slowed down
    I realised it was my song
    all along
    I aways bottle it up
    but now I pour out the love
    for myself
    Because you where killing me
    kindly and my skin is thicker but it burns
    all the same
    and you will get better
    in your never new year
    and I'm gone
    We tought it was a love song
    but I realised it was mine
    all along

  19. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    June 12, 2016 4:36pm UTC
    Men only kneel for gods and kings
    because of fear so
    Do not kneel for me
    Take my hand by your side
    Let the altar made for me
    be devoid of blood of goats or virgins
    Don't bring me flowers
    let them grow in the wild
    If you wash my hair
    I will wash your back
    Learn how to spell love
    as giving instead of offering
    To adore me is the same
    as to pitty me
    Do not adore me
    Take my hand by your side

  20. justkiddiing justkiddiing
    posted a quote
    June 8, 2016 4:49am UTC
    If I could summerize myself
    I would, but I can't so I wont
    I think a lot of it boils down to controle
    and the contole is because
    I haven't learned how to love
    myself, not yet
    love, once my dear friend
    has become a stranger
    to me, would I recognise
    it when it walked my way?
    If love is a rush, an blush
    more fysical than mental
    then I might have found it
    but it would be found in every
    dark ally where you would flee
    if love is the same routine
    comfort and unsurprising
    then I might have found it
    but it's tearing me apart
    because there's no respect
    neither of these are love
    so the search continues
    back to the feeling of that
    boy that put my hair behind
    my ear and held his breath
    to not startle the beauty


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